- Cinema Snob: See, Friday the 13th? This is how you do murder and sex in the opening scene! By doing it before Friday the 13th came out!
- Laurie Strode: [Michael is chasing her] Help! Somebody help me please!
- Cinema Snob: [as an angry neighbor] Ah, great, it's the girl from Prom Night and Terror Train again! When is she gonna learn not to leave the house?
- Michael's Father: [after Judith's murder] Michael?
- Cinema Snob: [as Michael's father] You are so grounded, mister. We are gonna stare at you for the next thirty seconds making damn sure you know how disappointed you made us.
- Lonnie Elamb: Don't you know what happens on Halloween?
- Cinema Snob: Yeah, a shitty Paranormal Activity movie comes out.
- Tommy Doyle: I don't like that story.
- Laurie Strode: I thought King Arthur was your favorite.
- Cinema Snob: [as Tommy] No! I said Arthur 2: On the Rocks was my favorite!
- Tommy Doyle: Laurie, what's the Boogeyman?
- Cinema Snob: It's a hit song by KC and the Sunshine Band, but that's not important right now.
- Laurie Strode: Tommy, Halloween night, it's when people play tricks on each other.
- Cinema Snob: Yeah, especially movie studios, release the majority of their horror films in January!