Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)

Dr. Who? (2014)

Craig Ferguson: Simon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Owen : You seem like a decent guy now, but it's hard to get over all those awful things you've done.

  Simon : Abandoning your mother.

  Owen : Yeah. And the drug dealing. And the arson.

  Simon : What! I never did those things!

  Joy Scroggs : When I first met Owen, I may have told him a few white lies, so he'd hate you as much as I did. Plus, I'd just shot him, and I wanted him to be on *my* side.

  Simon : You *shot* him?

  Owen : You lied to me!

  Joy Scroggs : Hah, look at us. Oh, we may have just met, but we already have a lot of baggage. We *are* a real family.

• [last lines] 

  Simon : You know, I never thought I'd say this, but... d'you want to go to bed, grandma?

  Joy Scroggs : I sure would, grandpa.

  Simon : Worst dirty talk ever.

  Joy Scroggs : Oh, shut up and kiss me.

• Simon : Look, we might not be the first family that started out with a broken condom behind the bins of a fish 'n' chip shop, but we can be the best.