Mom (TV Series)

Cotton Candy and Blended Fish (2013)

Anna Faris: Christy Plunkett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Christy : Marjorie, how many cats do you own?

  Marjorie : Oh, you don't own cats. You love them.

  Christy : Okay... How many cats do you love?

  Marjorie : [pointing and gesturing]  Well, let's see. That's Carlos Santana, and that's Grace Slick, and that's Boz Skaggs, and Steve Miller, and these three are the Tower of Power horn section. And this fat little trouble-maker is Jerry Garcia. So... eight.

• Violet : [in her room]  Dammit dammit dammit!

  Christy : What's that?

  Bonnie : She's 17 and pregnant, I'm surprised it's not happening all day.

• Christy : [walks in on Luke and Violet on her bed with her jeans half on]  God, lock the door!

  Luke : No, it's not what you think, I'm trying to get them *on* her.

  Christy : What?

  Violet : None of my stupid pants fit!

  Christy : Of course not, Violet, you're pregnant. You had to know this was going to happen.

  Violet : I did but I still wanted to be hot.

  Christy : You *were* hot, that's why you're pregnant.

• Gabriel : Christy, can you tell me why the Japanese people at table 5 are wearing surgical masks?

  Christy : [deeply congested voice]  Because they are paranoid.

  [sneezes loudly] 

  Gabriel : Are you sick?

  Christy : No, I'm not sick. I have allergies.

  Gabriel : Well either way you don't look too good, maybe you should just go home and take it easy.

  Christy : You know what, Baxter? Maybe I should. Maybe we should all just go home and be with our loved ones. Because you know what? Death is going to come for all of us, it's coming for *you*, and *you*, and *you*... and YOU!

• Marjorie : [Christy sneezes]  Oh dear, are you allergic to cats?

  Christy : [congested voice]  A little.

  Bonnie : Since when?

  Christy : [looks at her]  Since *birth*, Mom.

• Marjorie : [checks her phone]  Oh my God... I just got a text from my son... he wants to see me.

  Christy : That's great.

• Marjorie : I don't want anyone else to know about this.

  Christy : Why not?

  Marjorie : I don't want them feeling sorry for me because I'm sick.

  Bonnie : They don't, they feel sorry for you because you're a crazy cat lady!

• Rudy : [Christy loudly sniffs and snorts as she prepares the food]  Cocaine?

  Christy : No, cat dander.

  Rudy : Is that what the kids are calling it now?

• Christy : You should just be grateful, Violet, because you're healthy, and your health is everything, it's the only thing that matters.

  Violet : Yeah but...

  Christy : No buts! Now take those jeans off, put on a pair of sweat pants, and PRAY for a C-section because that baby is going to do MASSIVE DAMAGE on its way out!

  [leaves Violet's room, Bonnie's on the couch applauding] 

• Christy : [driving home from the bistro]  I can't believe that about Marjorie.

  Bonnie : I know. She doesn't look sick.

  Christy : Well, she did order soup, and that is the official dish of sick people.

  Bonnie : You think she's faking it?

  Christy : Who fakes having cancer?

  Bonnie : I did once. I was dating this guy and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Two years later I run into him at a Costco and tried to pass it off as 'It's a miracle!'

  Christy : Who'd think that'd blow up in your face?

  Bonnie : I know, I never go to Costco!