"Better Call Saul" Uno (TV Episode 2015) Poster

(TV Series)

(2015)

Bob Odenkirk: Jimmy McGill

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Quotes 

  • Jimmy McGill : The only way that entire car is worth 500 bucks is if there's a 300 dollar hooker sitting in it.

  • Jimmy McGill : [to potential clients]  Lawyers. We're like health insurance. Hope you never need it. But man-o-man, not havin' it? No...

  • Jimmy McGill : It's discreet, like a stripper pole in a mosque.

  • Jimmy McGill : You got to stop putting bacon on the list, 'cause that cooler's looking like a trichinosis stew.

  • Jimmy McGill : [addressing the jury]  Oh, to be 19 again! Ladies and gentlemen, do you remember being 19? Let me tell ya, the juices are flowing, the red corpuscles are corpuscle'ing, the grass is green and it's soft, and summer's gonna last forever.

    [chuckles] 

    Jimmy McGill : Now do you remember? Yeah ya do. But if you're being honest - well, really honest - you'll recall that you also had an under-developed 19-year-old brain. Me personally? I... it... if I were held accountable for some of the stupid decisions I made when I was 19 - oh boy, wow. I bet if we were in church right now, I'd get a big "amen!" Which brings us to these three. Now, these three knuckle heads - and I'm sorry boys, but that's what you are - they did a dumb thing.

  • Jimmy McGill : Yeah, forget the boat. Look at the car. You know what that is?

    Cal Lindholm : I don't know. A station wagon?

    Jimmy McGill : It's a Mercury, a 1988 Mercury Sable wagon. Remember it. Burn it into your brains. You got it?

    Cal Lindholm : It's a Mercury Sable wagon. Sure.

    Jimmy McGill : Close your eyes. What color is it?

    Cal Lindholm , Lars Lindholm : Brown.

    Jimmy McGill : No, it's Medium Sandalwood. Keep your eyes closed.

  • [last lines] 

    Jimmy McGill : Open up, officer of the court! Open up in the name of law!

    [door opens] 

    Jimmy McGill : Good afternoon, this...

    [gun is leveled at his nose and he is pulled inside] 

  • Jimmy McGill : And you - will - atone! It's Ned Beatty, from 'Network'. For Christ sakes guys.

  • Jimmy McGill : Money is not beside the point. Money IS the point.

  • Saul Goodman : You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Hamlin, and I won't have it!

    Howard Hamlin : What can we do for you, Jimmy?

  • Saul Goodman : I'm the rising tide that raises all dinghies.

  • Saul Goodman : Oh, to be nineteen again! You with me, ladies and gentlemen? Do you remember nineteen? Let me tell you, the juices are flowing. The red corpuscles are corpuscling, the grass is green, and it's soft, and summer's gonna last forever.

    [chuckles; inhales sharply] 

    Saul Goodman : Now, do you remember? Yeah, you do.

    [clears throat] 

    Saul Goodman : But if you're being honest... I mean, well, really honest, you'll recall that you also had an underdeveloped nineteen-year-old brain. Me, personally, I... it... If I were held accountable for some of the stupid decisions I made when I was nineteen...

    [chuckling] 

    Saul Goodman : Oh, boy, wow. And I bet if we were in church right now, I'd get a big "amen!" Which brings us to these three... Now, these three knuckleheads. And I'm sorry, boys, but that's what you are. They did a dumb thing. We're not denying that. However, I would like you to remember two salient facts. Fact one: nobody got hurt, not a soul. Very important to keep that in mind. Fact two: Now, the prosecution keeps bandying this term "criminal trespass." Mr. Spinowzo, the property owner, admitted to us that he keeps most portions of his business open to the public both day and night. So, trespassing? That's a bit of a reach, don't you think, Dave? Here's what I know: These three young men, near honors students all, were feeling their oats one Saturday night, and they just went a little bananas.

    [chuckles] 

    Saul Goodman : I don't know. Call me crazy, but I don't think they deserve to have their bright futures ruined by a momentary, minute, never-to-be-repeated lapse of judgment. Ladies and gentlemen, you're bigger than that.

  • Saul Goodman : Better call Saul!

See also

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