Expiration Date (I) (2014)
Robin Atkin Downes: Medic
Quotes
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Engineer : Guys! Hey fellas, listen! It's just bread that gets tumors!
Medic : Not even tumors! It's some form of self-aware beauty mark zhat only metastasizes in an environment of pure wheat! Here, vatch zhis!
[shakes specimen jar]
Medic : Oh look! It hates me so much!
Engineer : So, we're fine! Long as nobody teleports any bread.
Soldier : Question.
Engineer : [chuckles] What's your question, Soldier?
Soldier : I teleported bread.
Engineer : [upset] What?
Soldier : You told me to.
Engineer : [foreboding] How much?
Soldier : I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days.
Medic : [urgently] Vhere? Vhere have you been sending it?
[ground shakes as bread monster emerges]
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Scout : [struggling after they've been "eaten" by the bread monster] Aaahhhh... Ah... Miss Pauling, you all right?
Miss Pauling : [opening her eyes] I can't feel anything below my neck...
Scout : Oh God...
Miss Pauling : Oh. Now I can feel it. Ow. Ow.
Scout : Oh God, I am so sorry. This is...
Miss Pauling : That... was so... much... FUN!
[a smile forms on her face]
Scout : [a look of confusion on his face] You're not mad?
Miss Pauling : [quickly] I was furious. Oh my God, you set off the briefcase alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my leg's broken. Can we do this again?
Scout : Yeah, sure!
[He smiles, but frowns upon remembering about the "death watches" they were all given]
Scout : Wait, nah. We can't. I'm going to be dead.
Miss Pauling : [Confused] Wait, what?
Soldier : [poking his head into the cavity] Good news! We're not dying! We are going to live forever!
Medic : [the Heavy opens up a side of the dead bread monster, letting light in] I didn't say that! I just said we're not filled with tumors!
Scout : Oh thank God.
[relaxes and chuckles]