Expiration Date (I) (2014)

Nolan North: Engineer, Soldier

Quotes 

• Engineer : Guys! Hey fellas, listen! It's just bread that gets tumors!

  Medic : Not even tumors! It's some form of self-aware beauty mark zhat only metastasizes in an environment of pure wheat! Here, vatch zhis!

  [shakes specimen jar] 

  Medic : Oh look! It hates me so much!

  Engineer : So, we're fine! Long as nobody teleports any bread.

  Soldier : Question.

  Engineer : [chuckles]  What's your question, Soldier?

  Soldier : I teleported bread.

  Engineer : [upset]  What?

  Soldier : You told me to.

  Engineer : [foreboding]  How much?

  Soldier : I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days.

  Medic : [urgently]  Vhere? Vhere have you been sending it?

  [ground shakes as bread monster emerges] 

• Engineer : [after he and the Medic show everyone that teleporting bread gives it tumors]  Y'all know what this means right?

  Soldier : [the Soldier suddenly grabs the Scout by the neck and slams him onto the table]  Arrghh! We cannot teleport bread anymore!

  Engineer : [the Engineer intervenes]  Whoa! Whoa... Not exactly, Soldier.

  [he places his hand on the Soldier's back and smiles] 

  Engineer : You teleport as much bread as you like.

  [he removes his helmet] 

  Engineer : That goes for all of ya. If there's something any of y'all wanted to do before ya... Well. Died. Now would be a... good time.

• Scout : [while everyone is fighting a giant bread monster that came from Soldier's teleporting of bread]  Hey, Miss Pauling. Oh, I am so sorry...

  Miss Pauling : [Looking up from the wires of a bomb cart she is trying to program]  God, Scout, what for? Pressing the one button you're never supposed to press? Do you have any idea what's in a briefcase that -

  [she spots the watch on Scout's arm] 

  Miss Pauling : - Oh, oh! Give me your watch!

  [She holds her hand out expectantly] 

  Scout : Yeah. Exactly!

  [he gives her the watch] 

  Scout : See, that is where this all starts! No, actually, wait...

  Soldier : [he is interrupted by the Soldier screaming and landing nearby them] 

  [proudly] 

  Soldier : HA HA HA! I TELEPORTED BREAD!

  Scout : [the Soldier is grabbed by one of the monster's tentacles and dragged away]  ... so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this...

  Miss Pauling : GUYS! CLOSE THE BLAST DOORS!

  Scout : Miss Pauling. Look, my last few hours I just wanted...

  Heavy : [Struggling to keep the blast doors open for them to escape through]  COME ON!

  Scout : Um, never mind...

  Miss Pauling : RUN!