Death Battle (TV Series)
Mario VS Sonic (2011)
Ben B. Singer: Wizard - Host
Quotes
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Wizard : [about Sonic] During his adventures, he has used a variety of different shields to improve his abilities. Each shield can deflect minor projectiles and have environmental advantages, though they will disintegrate after blocking a deadly blow.
Boomstick : The Fire Shield can absorb, well, fire and heat, though it can't survive underwater. No shit. But with it, Sonic can use a fiery dash attack.
Wizard : The Lightning Shield can't survive in aquatic environments either, but it gives Sonic a mid-air jump for further aerial control.
Boomstick : And with the Bubble Shield, he can breathe underwater and control his jumps with a powerful bounce. Why do we keep mentioning water, you may ask? 'Cause he can't freakin' swim!
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Boomstick : While Sonic's always risking his life saving the world from all kinds of dangerous robots and demigods, he's kind of a dick.
Wizard : Sonic is cocky, arrogant and addicted to action. He gets cranky and unstable when he's cooped up for too long.
Boomstick : And if you ignore him, he'll straight up leave you!
Wizard : But despite his rough personality, he'll do whatever it takes to save the day.
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Wizard : [about Mario] He can create and manipulate fire to produce a variety of devastating attacks.
Boomstick : He's also got this frog suit thingy. While wearing it, Mario can jump even higher, swim even faster, and breathe underwater. The only problem is no one's really gonna take him seriously wearing that thing. Ha ha! Ah, look at him!
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Wizard : [continuing to describe Mario's power-ups] Several different power-ups have granted Mario flight before, but none as well as the Cape Feather. With it, Mario can fly for an unprecedented amount of time.
Boomstick : The Metal Cap turns Mario's entire body into indestructible living steel! But while Metal Mario's extremely heavy, his strength and speed are boosted, giving him ten times more power and just as much agility as before.
Wizard : The Starman envelops Mario into a blinding aura of compressed energy, granting increased speed and complete invulnerability for a short time. Touching a normal enemy in this state will instantly kill the foe. And while it's not technically a power-up, Mario has a hammer that can crush almost ANYTHING.
Boomstick : It seems like Mario's always popping 'shrooms to get more power. And with the Mega Mushroom, he gets GINORMOUS, mowin' down people, plants, environment, hell, everything!
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Wizard : [after describing Sonic's different shield power-ups] Sonic's ultimate power-up, however, isn't a shield at all. After absorbing thousands of power rings during his adventures, Sonic has become an embodiment of chaos. Using the power of the seven Chaos Emeralds, Sonic can tap into their incredible power and summon the form of Super Sonic.
Boomstick : Super Sonic can fly, breathe underwater, and is completely invulnerable.
Wizard : Not to mention his speed is increased a thousand fold.
Boomstick : But as with most things that are unbelievably powerful, it has a time limit. Without a steady supply of power rings, it can't even last a full minute.
Wizard : And when the form finally subsides, Sonic returns to normal at peak physical form, regardless of his condition prior to the transformation.
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[Sonic had just completely vanquished Mario by kicking him down while he's out of breath from running and then spin-dashing the downed plumber's body, rendering him all bloody]
Boomstick : Now THAT's what I call a Death Battle!
Wizard : Their power-ups seemed evenly matched, countering blow for blow.
Boomstick : Mario was even capable of countering the unstoppable Super Sonic!
Wizard : But with their arsenals exhausted, Mario was no match for Sonic's natural speed. Even if they had used their lesser-known power-ups like the Ice Flower or Super Emeralds, there's no reason to say the result would be any different.
Boomstick : Looks like Mario just couldn't keep up.
Wizard : The winner is Sonic the Hedgehog.
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Wizard : Mario has battled a larger variety of enemies than any other video game hero. Whether a foe is large or small, scary or goofy, dumb or deadly, nothing has ever proved too much for him.
Boomstick : Except for keeping track of his woman. She's always getting kidnapped and he's always showing up at the wrong castle. Somebody needs to throw a GPS tracking bracelet on that bitch!
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Wizard : Sonic's most notable ability is his speed. He can easily break the sound barrier in mere seconds. While his top speed is unknown, he has clocked in an average of 765 mph.
Boomstick : Holy crap! This guy must blow through shoes.
Wizard : He can further increase his speed with his trademark figure-eight technique.
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Boomstick : [about Sonic] He's not just fast on his feet. He can curl up into a spiky ball and rip through his opponents with the spin attack.
Wizard : His homing attack rockets toward an opponent and can hit multiple times.
Boomstick : And with his spin dash, he can reach top speeds almost instantly. How does this guy not vomit?
