Mom (TV Series)

Kimchi and a Monkey Playing Harmonica (2014)

Allison Janney: Bonnie Plunkett

Quotes 

• Marjorie : You know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

  Bonnie : What if I just do it one more time just in case it's different?

  Marjorie : What you always do is you meet a guy, you like a guy, you sleep with him.

  Bonnie : I don't always like them.

  Marjorie : I think you should try waiting and find out where this relationship is going.

  Bonnie : Well what am I going to do with all these urges?

  [they look at each other, Marjorie turns her man on man porn film back on, they sit back and watch] 

• Bonnie : Oh my God, what are you watching?

  Marjorie : Man on man porn.

  Bonnie : [later]  I'm sorry, this works for you?

  Marjorie : I like the sausage party.

  Bonnie : [later]  I'm sorry, can you just turn this off? That's just too many balls.

  Marjorie : That's actually the name of this film.

• Christy : Well I'm glad that Marjorie's advice helped you, but it didn't help me at all, did you know she watches gay porn?

  Bonnie : Yeah, I watched it with her, I think she's onto something.

• Bonnie : Where are your cats?

  Marjorie : [watching man on man porn]  I shut them in the bedroom, I don't like them seeing this side of me.

  Bonnie : Yeah, I'm not crazy about seeing it either.

• Bonnie : Do you know the definition of insanity is...

  Christy : Yes, I know the definition of insanity! I live with you!

• Bonnie : I'm trying to find out how to fix a coin operated washing machine on Youtube.

  Christy : Finding anything?

  Bonnie : No, but check this out. A monkey playing the harmonica.

  Christy : Wow, he's actually playing the blues!

  Bonnie : Yeah, he's obviously known sadness.

  Christy : [knock on the door]  Who can that be?

  Bonnie : [to the computer screen]  Who hurt you, little monkey?

• Alvin : So what're you gonna do, just call me every time something breaks around here?

  Bonnie : Pretty much.

• Alvin : Remember when we were teenagers and you conned your way into teaching at that Catholic school?

  Bonnie : Yeah, all it took was a Halloween costume and a propensity for hitting kids with a ruler.

• Bonnie : [making out]  I'm a little nervous.

  Alvin : So am I.

  Bonnie : I don't know why I should be, it's not like *any* part of me is still a virgin.

• Bonnie : So now what're we going to do? We can't both sleep in the bed.

  Christy : Sure we can, I'm tiny.

  Bonnie : What happens when one of us has a gentleman caller?

  Christy : Well, Blanche DuBois, then one of us will sleep on the couch.

  Bonnie : That could work, but we'll need a signal.

  Christy : Like a sock on the door?

  Bonnie : Yeah but something classier.

  Christy : A sock with a top hat?

  Bonnie : How about this beer koozie?

  Christy : Yeah, that could work.

  Bonnie : Yeah, it looks like it's having sex with the doorknob.

  [sticks it on the doorknob provocatively] 

• Alvin : [bent down fixing a washer]  I know you're staring at my ass crack.

  Bonnie : [pulls up his shirt]  Yeah, it's a lot hairier than I remember it.

• Christy : I don't want to sleep on the couch.

  Bonnie : You want to trade with Roscoe?

  Christy : No, that's a closet!