Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series)

Kimmy Goes to a Party! (2015)

Jane Krakowski: Jacqueline Voorhees

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Julian, a foot fetishist, is staring at Jacqueline's feet] 

  Jacqueline Voorhees : [pointing to her breasts]  Hey. Eyes up here. You don't get these feet.

  Julian Voorhees : You're withholding the twins?

  Jacqueline Voorhees : Feet are for good boys. Not for liars and cheaters.

  Julian Voorhees : Oh, for God's sake. Is that what this is about? You think I'm having an affair?

  Jacqueline Voorhees : You've done it before.

  Julian Voorhees : With you! And that was different. My first wife...

  Jacqueline Voorhees : Turned fifty. I know. And I would never do that to you.

• Jacqueline Voorhees : [regarding confronting Julian about cheating on her]  He just denied everything. I might as well have been Congress. Maybe I *am* crazy.

  Kimmy Schmidt : No, Mrs. Voorhees. You have to listen to your gut.

  Jacqueline Voorhees : I don't have a gut, you motherf...

  Kimmy Schmidt : No, no. I mean your women's intuition.

• Yuko : Hello, Mrs. Voorhees. You look very 43.75 years old. Mr. Voorhees requested a late-night snack.

  Jacqueline Voorhees : And he asked you? Why wouldn't he ask his wife to go wake up Vera?

  Yuko : [shrugging]  Activating shrug mode.

• [the Voorheeses sit down to a session with their marriage counselor] 

  Jacqueline Voorhees : Dr. Goodman, thank you so much for seeing us on such short notice. I need help. I keep dumping my insecurities on Julian.

  Julian Voorhees : She was acting like a real first wife last night.