Bob's Burgers (TV Series)

Midday Run (2015)

Bobby Tisdale: Zeke

Quotes 

• Zeke : Damn, Tina. Now I got a story to tell on our wedding day. You think that's not gonna happen, but I'll get you, girl. I'm gonna get you.

• Zeke : [to Mr. Frond]  I told you, my grandma's about to go under...

  Mr. Frond : Oh, spare me the grandma stuff. Grandma excuses are older than grandmas themselves.

• Mr. Frond : Tina, I need you to escort Zeke to the principal's office. I'd do it myself, but I dropped my cell phone in the toilet and I need to put it in rice immediately. Has anyone tried that? Does it work?

  Zeke : Ha! Mr. Frond's got a smell phone.

• Tina Belcher : I'll take it from here, Rudy. You finish your rounds.

  Regular Sized Rudy : Are you sure? Zeke's trouble.

  Tina Belcher : It's a midday run. I could do it in my sleep.

  Regular Sized Rudy : Yeah, but I want to help. I've never transported a perp.

  Tina Belcher : Yeah, we're good, Rudy.

  Regular Sized Rudy : Oh.

  Zeke : Oh, wow. Tina's giving Rudy some 'tude-y.

  Regular Sized Rudy : Shut up, Zeke. I'm sorry I said "shut up."

  Zeke : You shut up.

• Zeke : [to Tina]  Can I ask you something? Why do you want to be a hall monitor, anyway? It's just telling on kids.

  Tina Belcher : It's not telling on kids. It's helping on kids.

  Zeke : Well, you aren't helping on me.

  Tina Belcher : It's your own fault. You've committed a series of Mr. Wieners. That's what I call misdemeanors.

• Zeke : [to Tina]  Listen, this is the truth. I broke into Coach's office so I could take the mascot uniform.

  Tina Belcher : The Wagstaff Whaler? Why?

  Zeke : I told you, for my grandma. She's having surgery today and I just wanted to mascot around for her before she went under the knife.

  Tina Belcher : You expect me to believe that?

  Zeke : Yeah. Grandma likes mascots. She met my grandpa when they were mascotting in college. They looked into each other's big dumb foam eyes and that was it.

• Zeke : [to Ms. Labonz]  What are you doing, Miss L?

  Ms. Labonz : Smoking.

  Zeke : Cool.

  Ms. Labonz : Smoking is not cool, Zeke.

  Zeke : Yes, it is.

  Ms. Labonz : N... no, it's not.

  Zeke : Especially when teachers do it. That's cool! It's like you're teaching me to smoke. I love this stuff!

  Ms. Labonz : Don't... stop saying that, Zeke.

  Zeke : We're like best friends, man.

  Ms. Labonz : No, we're not. No.

  Zeke : We're bonding over cigarettes. That's pretty cool.

  Ms. Labonz : We are not bonding over cigarettes!

  Zeke : Sure we are. Hey, hey, let me get one of those! I've been dying to try one of them.

  Ms. Labonz : [to Zeke and Tina]  You two get to class!

  Zeke : Come on. Throw one in my mouth. I'll see if I can catch it.

  Ms. Labonz : Stop. Stop talking to me.

  [leaves] 

  Zeke : [to Tina]  Took care of that. Adults get really nervous when you ask them for cigarettes.

• Zeke : [to Tina]  If you don't let me go, I'm gonna chew my finger off!

  Tina Belcher : Zeke! Come on!

  Zeke : Grandma's gonna have to leave for the hospital soon!

  Tina Belcher : Even if what you were saying was true, you still should have asked for the mascot suit.

  Zeke : I did. I asked Coach B if I could borrow the suit fair and square, but he wouldn't let me. Probably thought I was gonna poop in it just 'cause I used to poop in stuff.