Ash vs Evil Dead (TV Series)

The Dark One (2016)

Bruce Campbell: Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Don't act like you know me.

  Ruby Knowby : Oh, but I do. See one day long ago, you appeared in my book. El Jefe.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : That's Mr. Jefe to you. But the end of your story is not yet written. Now Ash, do you really think I want you and your little friends to die?

  Ruby Knowby : No. I just want things to go back to the way they were, when the Dark Ones ruled over evil forces on Earth.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Yeah, well, I just want to bang Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island, but that ain't gonna happen.

  Ruby Knowby : The world is in chaos, and I want order. To consolidate the dark forces under one ruler: Me.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Oh, so you're the good guy now? What, you wanna control all of these demons like The Godfather?

  Ruby Knowby : Exactly.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Well, I hated that movie. Too long, and boring and not enough boobies. I'm more of a Death Wish kinda guy.

  Ruby Knowby : You are the one obstacle in the way. So what's your price? What do you really want?

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : What do I want? I want this to be done. I want the last 40 years of my life...

  Ruby Knowby : 10 years.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : I want the last years of my life to be worth living. I want a 20 ounce steak every night for dinner. A little pad of butter right there. I want cable TV, with all the premium channels.

  Ruby Knowby : And Jacksonville. Take it. I can give you all of that.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Oh, okay. No, no, no. You're tryin' to beguile with those radar eyes of yours. I call bullshit!

  Ruby Knowby : What you should be calling is a truce. Lay down your weapons, and go back to your life. I am offering you the undo button you wanted. Take it.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Truce? I could get into that. Or... I could kill you now!

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Yeah, well I just want to bang Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island, but that ain't gonna happen.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : [cuts and burns Ruby with the Kandarian Dagger]  Well, I guess this doesn't count as one of my "stupid mortal toys." Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this, Ruby, 'cause I dislike you, a lot. You get that fuckin' book off my friend's face.

  Ruby Knowby : Oh what? Gonna kill me? You do it, and they're both dead. And after The Book has killed her, it'll kill him. Nothing you can do about it.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Except kill you.

  Ruby Knowby : Or... you can take the deal. Think about, Ash. You are old. and fat and weak. You cannot keep this up forever. Lay down your weapons and go back to your life. You know that deep down we *both* want the same thing.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : No, pretty sure I don't wanna destroy humanity.

  Ruby Knowby : I don't wanna destroy anything. I want humanity to flourish. Without good, there is no evil. I just want evil under control, same as you. Difference is, you never signed up for any of this. Ash, your entire life has been marked by tragedy, and desperation, and a woeful inadequacy.

  Ruby Knowby : I get the idea.

  Ruby Knowby : Just take the deal. It's what you've always wanted.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : No. It's not just about my life anymore. I want their lives back too! They're comin' with me!

  Ruby Knowby : I can do that.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Prove it.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Somebody needs to wash your mouth out, kid. And that someone, is me.

  [smirks] 

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : You wrote it? You mean like, the whole thing?

  Ruby Knowby : Yes, and now that you've returned it to me, everything in here will be let loose upon the world.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Well, aren't we the tricky little bitch.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : [mockingly]  I'm Ruby, I'm The Dark One. I wrote The Necronomicon. Yeah? I don't give a shit! You fucked things up worse than I ever fucked things up lady, so fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Well, that was easy. Okay, let's the close the show with a little neck music.

  [starts up chainsaw] 

• Ruby Knowby : Your stupid mortal toys mean nothing to me. But before I kill you, my book needs a new cover.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : A new what - what? Oh, no, no, no! Not me! Oh, no! Not the face! Not the face!