Mom (TV Series)

Mashed Potatoes and a Little Nitrous (2015)

Allison Janney: Bonnie Plunkett

Quotes 

• Bonnie : [checking a tenant's clogged toilet]  You been flushing any feminine hygiene products down the toilet?

  Beverly : I'm 58 years old, what feminine hygiene products do you think I'm using?

• Bonnie : [looking through a tenant's medicine cabinet]  Stuff to help you poop, stuff to make the pooping stop, okay now I know why the toilet's clogged.

• Bonnie : [perched on the top of a jungle gym in the park]  Maybe I don't want to be sober anymore. I'm done with it.

  Christy : [sternly]  Okay then. Then you're done with me too.

  Bonnie : What's that supposed to mean?

  Christy : It means you're done with me, and you're done with your grandchildren!

  [walks away] 

  Bonnie : I'll still see my grandkids! I'll see Roscoe when he comes to play in the park!

• Bonnie : [on top of a jungle gym]  Don't make me jump, I swear, I'll jump!

  Christy : [looks]  Go ahead, the ground's rubber!

• Bonnie : [at the bistro]  Gotta pee.

  [stands up] 

  Bonnie : Hey, I'm wearing two different shoes.

• Bonnie : [taking hits off nitrous oxide and laughing]  How did your wife die?

  Richard : Massive heart attack.

  [they laugh] 

  Bonnie : My boyfriend died the same way.

  [they laugh] 

  Bonnie : My best friend has cancer!

  [they laugh louder] 

  Richard : [barely able to talk]  I haven't talked to my daughter in 15 years!

  [they laugh] 

• Bonnie : [to cover up the fact she's relapsing outside the AA meeting]  I'm praying.

  Regina : You want me to join you?

  Bonnie : Only if you don't mind swearing your eternal allegiance to Satan.

  Regina : I'll wait for you inside.