Siskel & Ebert (TV Series)

The Worst Films of 1994 (1995)

Roger Ebert: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Roger Ebert - Host : [regarding "North"]  When it came time to write my newspaper review of this movie, I dunno, something just came over me, my fingers on the keyboard had little minds of their own, I was rolling along, writing my usual scathing but civilized comments, when suddenly, a sinister inner force took over, and I found myself typing, and I quote: "I HATED this movie! Hated hated hated hated hated this movie! Hated it! Hated every simpering, stupid, vacant, audience-insulting moment of it!" Unqoute. And so on. Altogether, I used the word "hated" ten times. I have to give "North" credit for one thing, though: When I was preparing for this show, I didn't have to spend a lot of time trying to figure out which was the year's worst movie. So, it saved me time.

  Gene Siskel - Host : You know, I talked to the writer of this picture, I was so thunderstruck by Alan Zweibel, and I think that maybe these guys and Rob Reiner are using a, uh, sort of old style comedy that really has just gone out of fashion. It was funny sometimes when Mel Brooks took some of these caricatures in the early seventies, but he did it with a kind of liveliness. This stuff just clangs.

• Gene Siskel - Host : "Rapa Nui" is a drama set among the massive stone statues of mysterious Easter Island, and the premise here is that the statues were built by a tribal leader who wanted the gods to visit the island. So far, so good, but the centerpiece of the film is a ridiculous race among young braves of the island to capture a bird's egg, strap it to their forehead, their FOREHEAD, and bring it back unbroken to home base! I don't know about you, but I don't go to the movies to see games that I wouldn't play at my kid's birthday party!

  [...] 

  Gene Siskel - Host : Executive producer Kevin Costner meant well with this mess, I'm sure, but that only makes "Rapa Nui" a well-meaning mess. When they're running around with- weren't the actors embarrassed?

  Roger Ebert - Host : Unbelievable. Although, you have to admit, Gene, that the movie scores very high on the National Geographic scale with the fact that all of the maidens are topless...

  Gene Siskel - Host : Yes.

  Roger Ebert - Host : ...And there are a LOT of maidens, and they're always put right up in the front row by the ecologically-interested filmmakers.

  [Gene laughs] 

• Gene Siskel - Host : [regarding "Silent Tongue"]  That was a shocking film to sit through. Y'know, Roger, you know how sometimes, it, it happens rarely, but once in a while, a projectionist will get the reels mixed up?

  Roger Ebert - Host : Yeah, uh-huh?

  Gene Siskel - Host : Repeatedly, through this film, I thought that that was happening.

  [Roger chuckles] 

  Gene Siskel - Host : In fact, I'll put it the other way: If it HAD happened, it wouldn't have made any difference at all.

• Roger Ebert - Host : [regarding "Clifford"]  At a film festival, I ran into a cinematographer whose name will be unmentioned who turned down this movie after looking at the screen test, telling the producers, "You can't be serious about this." And they said, "Oh yes, we ARE." Unbelievable.

  Gene Siskel - Host : They get the money, they'll shoot it.

  Roger Ebert - Host : They couldn't LOOK at it and see that it didn't work.