2 Broke Girls (TV Series)
And the Escape Room (2015)
Beth Behrs: Caroline Channing
Photos
Quotes
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Caroline Channing : I'm feeling angry, scared and both of Max's boobs.
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Caroline Channing : Max, I've never been this close to your butt before and it's spectacular. What's your secret?
Max Black : I'm 27.
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Caroline Channing : I just found two fives in the couch, which brights us to - five, ten, carry the one - a new low.
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Max Black : Caroline reads everything. She read the entire iTunes user agreement before she bought Rihanna's "Bitch Better Have My Money."
Caroline Channing : Wish I'd read the fine print when I agreed to be your roommate. Turns out, bitch do have my money
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Randy : Arnold Schwarzenegger's is big; Michael J. Fox's is small; the Pope has one but doesn't use it; Madonna doesn't have one at all.
Oleg : Dongs. The answer is dongs.
Sophie Kachinsky : C'mon, Oleg, I mean, nobody can say for sure that Madonna doesn't have one.
Max Black : Dongs aren't the answer to everything. I used to think that. You know where that got me? Pennsylvania, with no car.
Caroline Channing : Schwarzenegger's is big, Schwarzenegger's is big; Fox's is small. It's last names. The pope doesn't use his. Madonna doesn't have one at all. That's it.
Randy : Correctamundo!
[laughs]
Randy : With your brain power, you'll be out of here in under an hour.
Caroline Channing : Well, thanks. But if I was that smart, I wouldn't have spent the last four years getting ripped off by my roommate.
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Oleg : I need all the energy I can get. Sophie and I are doing it round the clock. She wants a baby so bad, she even got an ovulation app on her phone.
Caroline Channing : Sophie's phone has a fertility app? My phone's so old,it can't get pregnant.
Oleg : Tells us when she's most fertile. Actually, a little cartoon monkey tells us.
Max Black : What's his name? Overly-curious George?
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Sophie Kachinsky : Okay, Oleg. Drop your pants. The monkey wants his banana.
Max Black : Caroline, if I have to see Oleg so much as honk one of her boobs, I'm gonna lose it.
Caroline Channing : [in Irish accent] I would help you and be your heaven-sent, but you screwed me on the rent.