Galavant (TV Series)

Do the D'DEW (2016)

Timothy Omundson: King Richard

Quotes 

• King Richard : I need your advice. I really want to kiss Roberta and stuff, and I think the timing is right, but did she say she likes me?

  Galavant : Get to the point.

  King Richard : Do I ask her? Do I just grab her and kiss her? Sneak up behind her in dark clothing and shout, "Boo!" and kiss her when she's screaming? What?

  Galavant : Look, I would love to help you. I've sort of got more important things to do here, but... no, no, definitely don't do the "boo" version. It's sort of frowned upon. Okay? Got to go.

  King Richard : No "boo" version. Good to know.

• Roberta : Richard, you're not a fighter, and I love you too much to watch you die. And you will die. Horribly. Mutilated. Crying blood.

  King Richard : [scoffs]  Okay.

  Roberta : Having soiled yourself with people trying to cut off your head. People pointing and laughing, gloating on the battlefield. It's going to be hideous.

  King Richard : [slowing losing his confidence]  Okay.

  Roberta : It can be fun. But not for you.

  King Richard : Got it.

  Roberta : I can't be part of that. It'll destroy me.

  King Richard : My darling, you worry too much. I'll be fine. Yes, perhaps a bit less confident after your very charmingly graphic description... but believe me, I'll be fine.

• King Richard : Well, if you'll excuse us, my girlfriend and I are gonna go inside and, um... have brunch.

  [as they walk into the castle, Roberta excitedly turns back to Sid and Galavant] 

  Roberta : We're not having brunch.

  Galavant : Ohhh. Kill me.

• [singing a blatant spoof of Summer Lovin' from Grease] 

  King Richard : Soon we found our groove.

  Roberta : Still, he kept on trying.

  King Richard : Super hot!

  Roberta : It was sad, but sweet.

  King Richard : Then I made my move.

  Roberta : When he finished crying.

  King Richard : Swept her...

  Roberta : Dropped me.

  King Richard : Off her feet!

  King Richard , Roberta : Finally!

  King Richard : We were gettin' jiggy!

  King Richard , Roberta : Finally!

  Roberta : His word not mine.

  King Richard , Roberta : Finally! It only took three bottles of wine!

• Galavant : Saddle up. It's time for battle.

  King Richard : And I am ready for war. Not just to sit in a comfy chair and watch up on a hill while eating cucumber sandwiches - oh, that was delightful. No, I am actually ready to stand next to you and fight.

  Galavant : Sounds like you found your manhood, Richard.

  King Richard : Bobbie found it. A bunch of times, if you know what I'm saying. Huh?

  Galavant : Unfortunately I do.

  [Richard smacks Galavant's shoulder] 

  King Richard : Ow! That's really... thick armor.

• [Richard looks around the Valencian throne room] 

  King Richard : Strange being in this room again. Seems like a lifetime ago I sat on that throne. So much has changed. Oh, if I ever got the chance to be a king again, I would do things so differently.

• King Richard : Wow, Valencia. Seems like just yesterday I was the worst tyrant this land has ever seen. Life is weird!

  Galavant : Yeah, cuckoo-bananas.