Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Labyrinth (2016)

Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic, Creepy Dad, Jim Henson, Kermit the Frog

Quotes 

• Nostalgia Critic : Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. We see a lot of stars in our lifetime, some old, some new. Some shine brighter than others. You know that, eventually, every star has to disappear.

  [shows images of David Bowie] 

  Nostalgia Critic : But when one that shines more uniquely fades, the sky doesn't feel the same without it. Especially when it orbited a solar system of other uniquely shining stars that brought us a galaxy of wonder that we still look in awe at today. And just in time for its 30th anniversary, we're gonna look at that galaxy. This is "Labyrinth".

• Nostalgia Critic : This is a film that's certainly been no stranger in the past, yet "Labyrinth" has never been given a full Nostalgia Critic review. On the one hand, you can see why. It's a good movie, directed by Jim Henson, written by Terry Jones, produced by George Lucas, and with songs by the film's antagonist, the late David Bowie. But on the other hand, it's such a strange and "out there" flick that it's impossible not to shake your head and laugh at the surreal drug overdose that you're experiencing. It deserves to be talked about, and that's exactly what we're gonna do. So experience the wonder and "huh?" of one of the strangest films to ever come out of the '80s. Let's take a look at "Labyrinth".

• Nostalgia Critic : The jokes made from us about the ferret he was so kind enough to give a home between his legs are too many to count, in my opinion, I've already worked overtime for it! So, because of this, I am refusing to do my Top 10 David Bowie Dick Jokes for this review. It has to be Top 15. 15 - I've seen less stuff in a Thanksgiving turkey. 14 - Is that Gonzo's nose in your pants or you're just happy to see me? 13 - Someone's got a rocket in their pocket! 12 - If you have an erection that lasts more than four hours, you're probably David Bowie. 11 - You should've seen what the NC-17 got... 10 - Ground Control to Major Tom, GET OFF THE BLUE PILL! 9 - Major Tom to Ground Control, tell my wife I love her very much. 8 - Major Tom to Ground Control, I think my spaceship knows which way to go... 7 - It's the missing Muppet, Stiffy! 6 - You think that was puppeted by Frank Oz? 5 - I'm queuing up for The Prestige, want to see my Tesla Coil? 4 - You like Hot Dogs, don't you? 3 - Special delivery! Careful, big package... 2 - Any more tight and those pants will be thong! And the Number 1 David Bowie Dick Joke is... Don't touch it, it's a Bowie Constrictor!

• Rock Face 1 : Don't go on...

  Rock Face 2 : Go back while you still can...

  Rock Face 3 : [with Olmec's voice]  Legends of the Hidden Temple!

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, that's just Olmec. He always says that.

• Nostalgia Critic : It's the Balrog's slower cousin, Hairclog!