Bob's Burgers (TV Series)

Lice Things Are Lice (2016)

Dan Mintz: Tina Belcher

Quotes 

• Tina Belcher : [When Louise tries to leave the nurse's office]  You can't leave, Louise. It's just a bitter pill you have to swallow.

  [Louise groans in frustration] 

  Tina Belcher : But it's not a real pill 'cause that would be medicine and I can't dispense...

  Louise Belcher : I know, Tina! You're drunk with lack of power.

• Nurse Liz : Pretty slow today.

  Tina Belcher : Well, a slow day in the nurse's office is a good day, right?

  Nurse Liz : Wrong. Tina, I didn't become a school nurse because no hospital would hire me. Course not. I mean, that was part of it. But I got into nursing to help seriously sick kids, but kids have to do their part and get seriously sick.

  Tina Belcher : I get it. You want your life to be like "Hurt Locker" but nobody's getting hurt by their locker.

  Nurse Liz : Exactly.

• Tina Belcher : Hi, Tammy. What's wrong?

  Tammy : My nails are gross. Can someone here file them?

  Tina Belcher : Um, that's not really what we do.

  Tammy : Hmm. Oh, um, it will be when you do it.

• Tammy : Why does everything bad happen to me?

  Louise Belcher : It's happening to us, too, Tammy!

  Tammy : Well, not really 'cause you're not blonde.

  Tina Belcher : Neither are you.

  Tammy : You shut up right now! You better shut that down. Shut it up.

• Tina Belcher : [to Nurse Liz]  So... I'm picking up some negative feedback about shaving everyone's hair off. Maybe we send kids home, kick this can down the road a little bit?

  Nurse Liz : No! I'm saving heads by shaving heads! I'll be the school nurse that beat super lice and when I go to my nursing school reunion, I won't even need a name tag though I'll probably wear it anyway if they have one for me, 'cause why not? I don't want to be weird about it!

  Tina Belcher : But...

  Nurse Liz : It's happening, Tina! I'm not gonna be the only freak around here with a shaved head.

• Tina Belcher : [after Nurse Liz shaves off her hair and eyebrows]  Uh, Nurse Liz, you look like someone who should be lying down under observation.

  Gene Belcher : She also looks a little like Michael Chiklis.