Ted Danson: Lemuel Gulliver

Quotes 

• Lemuel Gulliver : All the Yahoo vices I can begin to accustom myself to once more. Except for pride. That I cannot tolerate. I see myself for what I truly am. I have lost eight years of my life... And yet, and yet, the moments I have had, the marvels I have witnessed, the wonderful truths I have seen. You see, when night falls and you close your eyes to sleep and dream, I have seen the things that you can only dream about. I have been there. I was lost at sea for a long time. But I have been there. Oh yes. All the way and back.

• Lemuel Gulliver : The bestial Yahoos fight for no reason all. While we on the order hand fight for very good reasons, such as, well, our enemies are weaker than us or we desire all their land.

• Lemuel Gulliver : Why shouldn't we be seen as God made us?

  Dr. Bates : Because as any Christian knows, it would be immodest!

  Lemuel Gulliver : Meaning that these people would be incapable of modest behaviour if they were naked?

• Lemuel Gulliver : [Introducing himself to Mistress]  I am just a poor Englishman.

• Mary Gulliver : You're a doctor. Why are you taking something when you don't know what it is?

  Lemuel Gulliver : I do know what it is. Laudanum.

• Immortal Gatekeeper : Welcome to the immortal world.

  [leads Gulliver to a font in the middle of their chamber] 

  Immortal Gatekeeper : This is the source of the life everlasting. Drink from this water and you will never fear death. Never.

  [offers Gulliver a dish of the water] 

  Lemuel Gulliver : But I have to get home. There's a ship in the harbor. I only have minutes before it sails.

  Immortal Gatekeeper : Minutes? What are minutes? You have no need for such petty considerations here.

  Lemuel Gulliver : [narrating]  I was offered immortality... man's dream. With the fear of death removed, I could learn the truths of existence. I could get riches in wisdom. I could read every book ever written. Study the movements of the planets and the stars. I could watch the rise and falls of republics and kings and from the great depths of my knowledge, offer advice to all. I could do anything.

  Immortal Gatekeeper : Drink. Taste immortality.

  Lemuel Gulliver : Why is your hand shaking so badly?

  [Gulliver sees a Struldbrugg in the corner coughing up blood] 

  Lemuel Gulliver : What's wrong with her?

  Immortal Gatekeeper : Nothing.

  Lemuel Gulliver : What's wrong with everyone?

  Immortal Gatekeeper : Drink the water. You will defy nature.

  [Gulliver notices that she is not looking directly at him] 

  Lemuel Gulliver : You can't see me, can you?

  Immortal Gatekeeper : I'm alive! The water keeps us alive.

  Lemuel Gulliver : You're blind. You're all blind!

  Immortal Gatekeeper : No, some of us can still make out shape and movement. We'll never die, that's what matters. We'll never die.

  Struldbruggs : [chanting]  Never die. Never die.

  Immortal Gatekeeper : That's all that matters... cheating death!

  Lemuel Gulliver : No... no!

• Lemuel Gulliver : [to the Laputan flapper]  I can't tell you what a relief it is to see you're the same size as I am!