I'm a Rob Schneider fan (not huge), but this seems kinda desperate to me. I dunno. I'm not gonna go into detail about the bad animation or the storyline. I just have to say that even my 6 year old was like: "How don't they get into trouble for copyrights?" Just kinda sad. Unless the story and concept was thought of before Kung Fu Panda. I guess it could have been and not released till afterwards. Either way the kids still starred at the screen and paid attention for more than 5 minutes at a time. So I suppose it did it's job haha. I mean, it takes something for me to write a review when I'm on the toilet. It's kinda my first one lol. Thanks for reading this.(if anyone does)! Peace! Cory P.
14 Reviews
Amazing
kindrafaskell8 May 2020
It has the sort of plot line I'd come up with when I was 8. Every problem gets resolved in 2 minutes, and then a new one pops up. The animation looks like old video game cutscenes. The character designs are terrible. The character's colors keep changing. The voice actors rush through their lines.
And yet, I could not look away. I'm in absolute awe of this movie. I really cannot comprehend what I just saw
And yet, I could not look away. I'm in absolute awe of this movie. I really cannot comprehend what I just saw
Bring a Pillow -- total snorefest!
nammage26 March 2018
Warning: Spoilers
A total ripoff of Kung Fu Panda but...only in the fact of an animated warrior panda who doesn't really know he's a 'warrior', or special etc., other than that there's really no comparison; though I'm quite sure it tried. The English script (probably a rough translation of the Mandarin and/or Cantonese) is written, in my point-of-view, for either four year olds or morons; I can't really decide. The reason: the film keeps explaining everything; sometimes more than once so one can understand what's going on.
I don't really care about quality of animation as long as the story is engaging. The story in this isn't engaging, in the least. Since the script sucks, and the story sucks, you're then focused on the animation and it's (at that point) dreadfully awful. This film started to really bore me 16 minutes and 34 seconds in. That's terrible. Also, if a Comedy, I didn't laugh a single time. 25 minutes in there's a talking...um...twig, or something that can fire flames out of its head. It looked more like feces. A lot like this film. Place the twig on a front porch, it'll flame itself <--- while stupid, still funnier than this trite of a film.
I have no idea what this film was supposed to be about. I mean, it is explained to you 12 minutes in. 29 minutes in they have a "Go Go Power Rangers!" moment. The hippo is probably the worst; the hippo keeps saying "I'm a river horse" and that he's not a hippopotamus. In Latin "hippo" translates to 'horse'; "potamós" translates to 'river'. So, basically this film is teaching four year olds (or morons) that 'hippopotamus' and 'river horse' do not mean the same thing.
I literally wanted to gouge out my eyes and damage my ears by the 39 minute mark. I didn't and continued but stopped to have a pack of cigarettes (don't smoke kids, cigarettes and movies like this will give you cancer) well, one cigarette but this film made it feel like a pack. I almost wished I had alcohol in the house. I've been sober for almost 10 years but this film makes me want to drink again.
Awful. Dude, I watched this on a streaming channel (a popular one) and they had the time written wrong. It said 1 hour 8 minutes but it actually was 1 hour 18 minutes...I didn't realize this until I paused for another cigarette 48 minutes in. I know what you're thinking, "Why watch it to the end if it's so bad?" 'Cause a review, even one by me (which probably aren't that good), needs to provide hope if there is any, and if not...that, too. There is no hope. They had some type of thing with the credits at the end; it was boring, too.
I don't really care about quality of animation as long as the story is engaging. The story in this isn't engaging, in the least. Since the script sucks, and the story sucks, you're then focused on the animation and it's (at that point) dreadfully awful. This film started to really bore me 16 minutes and 34 seconds in. That's terrible. Also, if a Comedy, I didn't laugh a single time. 25 minutes in there's a talking...um...twig, or something that can fire flames out of its head. It looked more like feces. A lot like this film. Place the twig on a front porch, it'll flame itself <--- while stupid, still funnier than this trite of a film.
I have no idea what this film was supposed to be about. I mean, it is explained to you 12 minutes in. 29 minutes in they have a "Go Go Power Rangers!" moment. The hippo is probably the worst; the hippo keeps saying "I'm a river horse" and that he's not a hippopotamus. In Latin "hippo" translates to 'horse'; "potamós" translates to 'river'. So, basically this film is teaching four year olds (or morons) that 'hippopotamus' and 'river horse' do not mean the same thing.
I literally wanted to gouge out my eyes and damage my ears by the 39 minute mark. I didn't and continued but stopped to have a pack of cigarettes (don't smoke kids, cigarettes and movies like this will give you cancer) well, one cigarette but this film made it feel like a pack. I almost wished I had alcohol in the house. I've been sober for almost 10 years but this film makes me want to drink again.
Awful. Dude, I watched this on a streaming channel (a popular one) and they had the time written wrong. It said 1 hour 8 minutes but it actually was 1 hour 18 minutes...I didn't realize this until I paused for another cigarette 48 minutes in. I know what you're thinking, "Why watch it to the end if it's so bad?" 'Cause a review, even one by me (which probably aren't that good), needs to provide hope if there is any, and if not...that, too. There is no hope. They had some type of thing with the credits at the end; it was boring, too.
Bad, even by Rob Schneider standards
shedbandmanager24 June 2021
A 1 or a 10?
garabedian12312 June 2020
Bad knock off
catherinefolen13 July 2020
Uhh...
dangerous_business25 October 2020
Oh my god.
YeliWalis25 January 2022
Warning: Spoilers
When did Jackie Chan's nose become so big? Why do pigs fly into the sky by farting? Oh, my God! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Shroom/Acid Trip?
schu_k19 May 2017
I have no Frikin idea what the Frikin hell I just watched. If you want to know how sh-rooms effect your brain watch this emotional roller coaster. Honestly this thing has horrible animation, the story is garbage and what the hell is that goat thing, or anything in this movie, I honestly wish i was on the drugs these people were on.
Life changing, truly the movie of a lifetime
penguins-4761625 July 2021
To say that this movie made me feel again would not be an exaggeration. Everything from the complex character arcs to the life-like animation drew me in. The Song of Peace has become not only my ringtone, but also my alarm in the morning, and the only song I'll listen to in the car.
On multiple occasions, I nearly cried due to the complexity and sheer heart put into this film. I've never taken drugs in my life, but this movie gave me the most powerful high known to man. I would give anything to watch it for the first time again. I applaud all the work put into it, although it may have ruined cinema for me, as I may never watch anything as fulfilling as this ever again.
On multiple occasions, I nearly cried due to the complexity and sheer heart put into this film. I've never taken drugs in my life, but this movie gave me the most powerful high known to man. I would give anything to watch it for the first time again. I applaud all the work put into it, although it may have ruined cinema for me, as I may never watch anything as fulfilling as this ever again.
Beautiful, tragic masterpiece
calvinmcdonald-5838018 June 2021
There's something about this masterful work of cinema that just speaks to me in such a profound way. Panda Warrior is truly a masterpiece ahead of its time. Everyone speaks poorly about this beautiful foreign film because of its coincidental resemblance to Kung Fu Panda, but Kung Fu Panda is stinky. Therefore, Panda Warrior is far beyond such a waste of time. There's obvious heart put into the character designs: they're incredibly well-made and totally not just a bunch of crappy Blender models bought off the public domain. The plot is complex and tragic: a man turns into a panda after being a crappy soldier, meets up with a weird pig, fights some crap, meets up with a bunch of other animals, then rescues and elf princess and fights a snake who becomes a whale. It's all coherent and intelligently written and the people who made it totally weren't on acid.
Everything about this movie is eye-opening, it's like a combination of Shrek and Jesus. I can just see a couple of recent film school graduates in their 20's being chained up in a dark basement somewhere and forced to make this movie. I can see the tears run down their faces as they animate the majestic characters and voice their profound dialogue. Their painstaking efforts produced perhaps the ultimatum of cinema.
For awhile, I could watch this for free with Xfinity. Those were good days. But then they changed it to "rent or buy",. I had a full-out meltdown and threw the remote at the TV. Afterwards I hid in the shower for five days and went through a depression, slowly becoming insane because they took away the most beautiful thing I ever saw. But the beauty of this film is that its messages and themes had prepared me for this, I was able to pull through and write this review.
Watch Panda Warrior. Watch it five times in a row and write a fanfiction about it or I'll come for you and eat your liver.
Everything about this movie is eye-opening, it's like a combination of Shrek and Jesus. I can just see a couple of recent film school graduates in their 20's being chained up in a dark basement somewhere and forced to make this movie. I can see the tears run down their faces as they animate the majestic characters and voice their profound dialogue. Their painstaking efforts produced perhaps the ultimatum of cinema.
For awhile, I could watch this for free with Xfinity. Those were good days. But then they changed it to "rent or buy",. I had a full-out meltdown and threw the remote at the TV. Afterwards I hid in the shower for five days and went through a depression, slowly becoming insane because they took away the most beautiful thing I ever saw. But the beauty of this film is that its messages and themes had prepared me for this, I was able to pull through and write this review.
Watch Panda Warrior. Watch it five times in a row and write a fanfiction about it or I'll come for you and eat your liver.
so bad that it's good
endranger24 May 2022
I have unironically watched this movie way too many times now. It's so, so bad but in the absolute best way possible, I LOVE IT. Absolutely garbage animation, nothing makes sense, i still don't know what's going on and i've seen this movie several times.
There are an insane amount of characters that contribute absolutely nothing to the plot, none of the character models match, AND it has the obligatory dance scene at the end, absolutely AMAZING
a true cinematic masterpiece......
There are an insane amount of characters that contribute absolutely nothing to the plot, none of the character models match, AND it has the obligatory dance scene at the end, absolutely AMAZING
a true cinematic masterpiece......
My favourite Kung Fu Panda Knockoff
cleejr23 December 2021
This Movie is a knockoff version of Kung Fu Panda but the animation really bad but it's not bad the acting is decent the dialogue is fittable and the rest are sorta good or okay but the best part is the song Miracle By Parker Theory so yeah really like this knockoff version so it does not suck for me but it was good enough for me.
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