Real Time with Bill Maher (TV Series)

Episode #14.33 (2016)

Sarah Silverman: Self - Guest

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bill Maher - Host : Have you seen pastor Mark Burns?

  Herself - Guest : Oh, god.

  Bill Maher - Host : He's the "pastor" who gave the benediction at the Republican convention. And I'm not saying he's a total charlatan; it's possible that the free vial of holy oil available from his website can cure the sick.

  [laughter] 

  Bill Maher - Host : And if not, you can always use it as righteous lube.

  [more laughter] 

  Bill Maher - Host : But... but he does seem to have lied about everything.

  [footage of a CNN interview with Burns] 

  Bill Maher - Host : Did you catch that? The interviewer says "I didn't agree this was off the record," and he says "Yeah, but I did."

  Herself - Guest : Right.

  Bill Maher - Host : What do you think for him, Secretary of State, maybe?

  [laughter] 

  Bill Maher - Host : Uh... head of NASA, perhaps?

• Bill Maher - Host : Another familiar face on CNN for the Trump campaign is Marco Gutierrez, a leader of Trump's Hispanic advisory counsel. And quite a spokesman for his peeps he is. He once said "My culture is very dominant culture, and it's causing problems. If you don't do something about it, you're gonna have a taco truck on every corner." Okay, first of all, would that be such a bad thing?

  [laughter] 

  Bill Maher - Host : You mean when I'm drunk, I don't have to wander around L.A. looking for a taco truck? That's the best argument for Hillary I've heard yet. But... but beyond that, Mr. Gutierrez is a real estate scam artist who's filed for bankruptcy fourteen times. He's not just a Latino *for* Trump. He's a Latino Trump.

  [laughter] 

  Bill Maher - Host : Then there's, uh, oh, little Kayleigh McEnany, a kind of Ann Coulter without the empathy.

  [laughter] 

  Bill Maher - Host : And another young woman defending Trump, campaign spokesman: someone's crazy ex-girlfriend!

  [laughter] 

  Herself - Guest : Yes.

  Bill Maher - Host : I'm sorry. I mean Katrina Pierson, who wears a necklace made out of bullets, from the Chanel "Don't Tread on Me" collection.

  [laughter] 

  Bill Maher - Host : And once defended it by tweeting "Maybe I'll wear a fetus next time."

  Herself - Guest : Ugh.

  [groans from the audience] 

  Bill Maher - Host : [he snickers]  About... good point. About Trump's proposed Muslim ban, she said...

  [footage of Pierson saying "So what? They're Muslim."] 

  Bill Maher - Host : And in 2012, she tweeted "Perfect. Obama's dad born in Africa. Mitt Romney's dad born in Mexico. Any pure breeds left?".

  Herself - Guest : Sick. Sick.

  Bill Maher - Host : Pure breeds? Where do you study your talking points, by the light from a burning cross?

  [laughter and applause] 

  Bill Maher - Host : She also blames Obama for launching the war in Afghanistan, even though it was four years before he was even in the Senate. And has said about nuclear weapons "What good is having them if you're not gonna use 'em?". If this were "The $100,000 Pyramid", I'd say "Things a mental patient says."

  [laughter] 

  Bill Maher - Host : So what do you think, Ambassador to the U.N. for her?