- Bonnie: When I was pregnant with this one, one of my friends thought it was a bad idea, I came *this* close to having an abortion.
- Christy: WHAT?
- Bonnie: I told you.
- Christy: UH-UH, DID NOT, I would've remembered!
- Bonnie: Calm down, it's not like I did it.
- Christy: Who, who is this woman?
- Bonnie: Relax, you don't know her, because I never talked to her again after that, which is my point what could happen with you and Jill.
- Christy: In one breath you tell me that you almost had me aborted and now you tell me I might've lost my best friend, what kind of pep talk is this?
- Bonnie: Oh my God, you get mad at me when I pay attention and you get mad at me when I don't pay attention.
- Bonnie: Cheese and crackers, would you look what they're paying for sperm?
- Jill Kendall: Yeah, back in college I was up to my eyeballs in this stuff, now I have to sign a check for it.
- Jill Kendall: I always struggle with this day but this year it's really kicking my ass.
- Marjorie: Why do you think that is, Jill?
- Jill Kendall: My mama was 37 when she died... that's how old I am now... I actually outlived her.
- Wendy: This is serious, she told us her real age.
- Christy: Having kids is hard work and you're just not cut out for it.
- Jill Kendall: Just because *you* failed as a mom doesn't mean I will.
- Christy: I know you have issues from your mom dying that you think having a baby will solve, but it won't. If having a kid fixed everything, your mother... wouldn't have done what she did.
- Jill Kendall: [slowly nods] I never want to talk to you again.
- [walks off]
- Christy: [to Jill] Having a baby isn't just playing dress up and picnics at the beach, I mean sure you'll have some picnics, but just getting the car loaded will crush your soul.
- Jill Kendall: [addressing the AA meeting] If it wasn't for this meeting tonight, I wouldn't even have crawled out of bed today.
- Christy: [whispers to Marjorie] Here we go, 50 shades of Jill.
- Jill Kendall: Today is the anniversary of my mother's suicide.
- Christy: [whispers] Clearly I misspoke.
- [Marjorie nods]
- Jill Kendall: Ooh! A crib shaped like Cinderella's coach. What do you think?
- Christy: It looks like a float in a tiny gay pride parade.
- Jill Kendall: [recounting her mom's suicide during her share] She gave me a big hug, which I thought was strange because, she wasn't that much of a hugger, then she gave me her credit card and told me to go get something nice for myself. So I went to the mall, and when I got home... I found her in the garage, slumped over the steering wheel of her car, standing there in my new peach leather jacket, too scared to even move... sorry I'm... this is... I can't do this, thank you.
- Marjorie: [to Jill] You have crossed the threshold from feeling your feelings to just feeling sorry for yourself, so you're going to get up and help somebody who is less fortunate than you.