- Don E: Cruise's tan is way too even, and he's barely aged a day in 30 years.
- Blaine DeBeers: Why do you think he does his own death-defying stunts? It's 'cause he's already dead.
- Olivia Moore: I'll bet he doesn't eat the brain of anyone over the age of 25.
- Clive Babineaux: So I should be thinking, "That's a raged-out zombie," next time I see Tom Cruise doing a chase sequence?
- Major Lilywhite: Remember Shawna, the girl who wrote me that sweet letter? The big Chaos Killer fan?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: You didn't.
- Major Lilywhite: Oh, but I did. Several times.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Ah...
- Major Lilywhite: It's not just sex, though. I mean... No, I mean, it's mostly sex, but... She has a lot of other qualities, and I... I cannot wait to experience whatever those are as well.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: I'm sure propriety and modesty are high on that list.
- Rachel Greenblatt: Your roommate is the Chaos Killer? I need to get out of here.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Um, um... Rachel!
- [She runs out]
- Major Lilywhite: ...Chaos *Kidnapper*, if you must know.
- Olivia Moore: This case is bigger than we thought. I'm thinking deep state. Shadow government.
- Peyton Charles: Wait... The government's involved?
- Olivia Moore: Well, not the "government" government, obviously. But the people behind the government, the Illuminati.
- Peyton Charles: Liv... Whose brain have you eaten?
- Olivia Moore: [Looks around nervously] Who wants to know?
- Peyton Charles: I do. That's why I asked.
- Clive Babineaux: What was the vision?
- Olivia Moore: It's news we already knew.
- Don E: We're in Harley's truck, Liv's squeeze in our headlights, frothing at the mouth. He wants our brains, man! I yell, "Go! Go! Go!" Harley guns it in reverse. Her friend is chasing us down going like 60 miles an hour.
- Blaine DeBeers: That's a slight exaggeration.
- Don E: Dude, I was there!
- Blaine DeBeers: We were all there.
- Clive Babineaux: This was on YouTube for God's sake!
- Olivia Moore: [after finding Shawna's tumblr page] I don't want you to freak out, but I think Shawna's...
- Major Lilywhite: Crazy?
- Olivia Moore: --- A zombie hunter trained by the CDC. Getting close to you is step one of a nine-step plan. Step two...
- Major Lilywhite: I'm going to stick with she's crazy,
- Don E: [All on conspiracy theorist brain] All those people that night on the street in Vegas, no one sees a shooter!
- Blaine DeBeers: It's because he didn't get shot. Look at the cover of Don Killuminati. There's Tupac crucified, and in the liner notes it reads, and I quote, "Exit Tupac, enter Makaveli." He is alive and well, and will return like a new messiah.
- Don E: That's insane.
- Blaine DeBeers: Oh, so you think he's dead?
- Don E: No, of course he's not dead. He's working for the Feds as an informant. He's mowing his lawn in Scottsdale.
- Olivia Moore: Stop! You two sound crazy. Sad to say, but Tupac is dead and gone.
- [pause]
- Olivia Moore: Biggie Smalls' twin brother killed Tupac, and it's that twin that got shot in LA. Biggie, at this moment, is sipping mojitos in Havana...
- Olivia Moore: They're the same type of guns used in the Baracus shooting... And Wally's murder. I thought we should run ballistics to confirm.
- Clive Babineaux: If Cavanaugh learns we have these, *he'll* go ballistic,
- Detective Cavanaugh: [Clive's gun guy is at the station] This guy says he sold you some concert tickets?
- Clive Babineaux: Uh, yeah, that's right.
- Detective Cavanaugh: Cool. Who are you gonna go see?
- Clive Babineaux: ...Music.