- [opening lines]
- Nostalgia Critic: [tied to a chair; addressing Hyper Fangirl and Devil Boner] As flattered as I am that you would use me as a couples' therapist, it is my nonprofessional opinion that you should seek an actual professional.
- Hyper Fangirl: But you're the only one crazy enough to understand us.
- Devil Boner: Yeah, and to be fair, we do usually get along better when we take you against your will.
- Nostalgia Critic: Well, I've been kidnapped so many times, at this point, there's probably a plumber constantly being told that I'm in another castle.
- Devil Boner: What can I say? We're bound tighter when you're bound tighter.
- Hyper Fangirl: And I can practice my arts and crafts on your manacles.
- Nostalgia Critic: [his arms are manacled together; the cuffs are a girly pink] Yeah, they're lovely, thanks.