- Batman: I have a meeting with the headmaster at Damian's boarding school.
- Green Lantern: No way! Batman has a parent-teacher conference? That's great.
- The Flash: Are you in the PTA too? Tell me you're in the PTA.
- [Puts on a gravelly voice]
- The Flash: I'm Batman. We need more chaperones for homecoming. Who has to be convinced to sign up? Hahaha...
- [Batman gives him a death glare]
- The Flash: I'm just joking. I think that's great.
- [Tries to hide behind a piece of paper]
- The Flash: Is he still glaring at me?
- Cyborg: We could just push the meeting back to that evening.
- The Flash: Ah, can't. I've got rehearsal dinner that night.
- Martian Manhunter: [Looks at Wonder Woman] Is he in a play?
- Batman: He's getting married. Somehow.
- The Flash: Yup, married the next day. Limos, banquet hall, DJ, the whole shebang.
- [Slight pause]
- The Flash: Just the immediate family, you understand.
- Ma Kent: Then there was the girl on the swim team. Laurel, Laura... Um...
- Pa Kent: Lori. Lori Lemaris. I remember her. She was quite a catch.
- Clark Kent: Pa!
- Ma Kent: Clark's right. Maybe we shouldn't talk about her. I *am* serving halibut.
- Cat Grant: I had a suspicion something was up when you stopped calling him "Smallville".
- Lois Lane: I did?
- Cat Grant: Sweetie, the women here notice everything about tall, handsome men. And the only competition in this place is Steve Lombard, and he makes me feel like I need to shower.
- Steve Lombard: Hello ladies, did someone mention the Stevenator?
- Cat Grant: Yes, I think it was human resources.
- Wonder Woman: Clark, flank me!
- Superman: Seriously, Diana. We need to use code names in the field.
- Wonder Woman: You just called me "Diana".
- Superman: But that's what you want to be called.
- Wonder Woman: You *want* to be called Superman? Sounds like even your ego is super strong.
- Superman: I just don't need my real name public. Besides... I like Superman.
- Wonder Woman: Because "Wonder Man" sounds like we're married?
- Superman: No. Because she gave it to me.
- Ma Kent: Well, you wouldn't be the first young lady to break his heart.
- Clark Kent: *TMI*, Ma!
- Lois Lane: Oh, now, we're getting to the good stuff.
- Ma Kent: Well, first there was Lana, lovely girl, lived next door. She'd come over once in a while, not... Not like Pete Ross. I mean, he was there every day.
- Pa Kent: I always wondered about that boy.
- Cyborg: Operating budget for the upcoming fiscal year. Utilities are above what the UN cleared for funding, guys.
- Batman: I'll handle it. Move on, Cyborg.
- Wonder Woman: Wonder Woman merchandise did very well this year. I can step up when the Wayne Foundation falls short.
- Batman: You're kidding, right?
- Bruno Mannheim: Get Mr. Mayor and his better half out of here before we get in trouble from the man upstairs.
- Intergang Member: Didn't know you was a believer, boss.
- Bruno Mannheim: That ain't the man upstairs I'm talking about.
- [first lines]
- Man on Radio: MPD Tech-Ops to Metropolis City. 2078W in progress.
- Dan Turpin: Kidnapping with advanced weapons. Got to be Intergang. They took out half the reserve with their tech weapons last week.
- Maggie Sawyer: Makes you nostalgic for assault rifles.
- Clark Kent: You had that interview with your super friend. I know what that means.
- Lois Lane: In here.
- [Pushes him in the closet]
- Clark Kent: You're always on fire after seeing him. Should I be jealous?
- Lois Lane: I think it's the tights.
- Clark Kent: I can pick up a pair if that's all it takes.
- Lois Lane: Perfect. Wear 'em on our trip to the Hamptons this weekend.
- John Henry Irons: It's definitely from Apokolips. But it's been bonded with Earth-based tri-formulite at an atomic level. The combination makes this stronger.
- Silas Stone: Incredible! That means it's even stronger than you, Victor.
- Cyborg: Always got an encouraging word, huh, Dad?
- Lex Luthor: Amazing. A creature who's traveled light years through space and survived a catastrophic entry to Earth. The Blue Bog Scout could have some competition.
- Perry White: Lois has given this thing a name. Doomsday. Let's get on it. We need a new Page 1.
- Cat Grant: Yeah, if there's anyone left to read it.
- Lex Luthor: Fascinating. What kind of civilization would produce that?
- Mercy: It seems its only function is destruction.
- Lex Luthor: Perhaps it's a weapon. A first strike meant to wipe out all life on a planet for a conquering force.
- Mercy: That would explain why it's come to Metropolis. It's drawn to population centers.
- Lex Luthor: Who besides me would send an apex predator here to kill the strongest thing it could find?
- Mercy: You think it might kill Superman?
- Lex Luthor: It would save me a lot of trouble. But what if the caped wonder can't bring him down? Metropolis will still need to be protected. Luckily, it's a day I've been planning for a long time.
- Wonder Woman: [Regarding Lois] Funny how you use her actual name, but don't allow her to know yours.
- Superman: It's a complicated relationship... kind of like how ours was.
- Wonder Woman: It was nice for a while.
- Superman: Yes, it was...
- Wonder Woman: It's just as well. I wasn't very good at playing this masquerade of yours.
- Lex Luthor: Lex Luthor : Lane, olsen keep the camera rolling. You'll wanna get this. You think taking down the justice league is gonna scare us? That happens once a week. I don't know where you've come from, you alien scum. But you've picked the wrong city. And the wrong human. Metropolis is, and always has been. Under the protection of Lex Luthor you son of a bitch