Happy! (TV Series)

Saint Nick (2017)

Patton Oswalt: Happy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Happy : I'm Happy! The happy horse, horse, horse, so full of fun of course, of course! It's plain to see it's fun to be Happyyyy!

  [neighing] 

  Happy : I'm the Happy Horse, horse, horse, so full of love of course of, of course, it's time to be carefree so come with me, Happy!

  [Hooves clomping] 

  Happy : Here it comes, here comes the fun! Are you ready? Clippity-clop! Flippity-flop! We got no time to mope-and-mop! Let's ride the magic rainbow right to the tippy-tippy-tippy-tippy.

• Happy : We got company, Nick.

  Nick Sax : And he's back!

  Happy : Some real creepazoids!

  Nick Sax : Hey, if you want to be useful, why don't you tell me how many I'm dealing with?

  Happy : [counting on his hooves]  Okay, it's one, two, three, four, uh...

  [using his tail] 

  Happy : Five.

  Nick Sax : Are you sure about that?

  Happy : Uh-huh.

  Nick Sax : So, five. I've done five. I can do five.

• Happy : Lucky for me she opened that window. I was about to turn into a blueberry horse-icle.

  [he sneezes] 

  Happy : Excuse me.

  Nick Sax : I'm pretty sure I told you to fuck off.

  Det. Meredith McCarthy : Oh, you did. A few times.

  Nick Sax : Not you.

• Happy : Where are we going, Nick, huh? Where are we going, huh?

  Nick Sax : We? We ain't going nowhere. You heard that nice lady back there. I signed my own death warrant when I iced Disco Mikey. Every scumbag in the city will be looking for me if they're not already.

  Happy : Eh, I mean, yeah, but...

  Nick Sax : Yeah, but nothing. I'm getting the hell out of Dodge.

  [Happy taps his hoof nervously] 

  Nick Sax : Quit your tap dancing. You're ruining the dashboard.

• Nick Sax : [seeing Happy for the first time]  I'm hallucinating. Nitro. Go away. Ah...

  [a paramedic puts a pill in his mouth] 

  Happy : But-but-but-but... I-I got stuff to tell you! Mucho important stuff!

  Nick Sax : Shh. I don't talk to pink elephants.

  Happy : What... what, are you color blind? I ain't pink, pal. And elephants have trunks! Do you see any luggage?

• Det. Meredith McCarthy : You know, I know what Disco Mikey told you. You're in deep shit.

  Happy : You're in deep Bandini, Nick. That means a bad word.

  Nick Sax : I have no idea what you're talking about.

  Det. Meredith McCarthy : Mikey gave you a password meant for Blue. Dumb kid ran into you before he had a chance to deliver it. I think you know what they'll do to get it out of you. Unless you tell me first.

  Nick Sax : Password?

  Happy : Oh! Oh, I know! Open sesame!

  Nick Sax : Seriously?

• Det. Meredith McCarthy : I think Blue hired you to kill his nephews. Mikey just ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think there is a god damn underworld civil war brewing, and you've managed to land your sorry ass right in the middle of it. I think I can still get you out, but you have to tell me what you know.

  Nick Sax : What I know? People suck, I don't pay my income tax, and I no longer feel dirty when I touch myself, but beyond that, it just seems pretty clear that whoever knows this alleged password is as good as dead or worse. That's about it. Oh, Meredith, you're such a pain in the ass. Ah, look, you deserve better than that. Thanks for coming. I appreciate that. And I will tell you this... get the hell out of here. Comprendo?

  Happy : It's "comprende". It's Spanish.

  Nick Sax : I know it's Spanish!