- Sam I Am: [to Guy] I am Sam. Sam I-Am, of the Glurfsburg I-Ams. Perhaps you've heard of us. What's your handle, partner?
- [Guy grunts]
- Sam I Am: Grumph! Lovely name. How do you spell that? Is that one "rumph" or two?
- Donna: So, Sam, I imagine you'll be having the ushe?
- Sam I Am: [smiles] If you insist.
- Donna: [to the diner cook] Green eggs and ham!
- Diner Cook: Coming up!
- Guy Am I: Yuck!
- [He goes back to reading the newspaper. Sam knocks on the paper like a door to get his attention]
- Sam I Am: [gasps softly] You don't like green eggs and ham?
- Guy Am I: [coldly] No, I do not like them, Sam I-Am. I do not like green eggs and ham.
- Sam I Am: Understood. Question asked and answered. No further queries necessary.
- [clicks tongue thoughtfully]
- Sam I Am: Have you ever tried them before?
- Guy Am I: [sighs] No.
- Sam I Am: Well, how can you be so sure you don't like 'em if you've never actually eaten 'em?
- Guy Am I: Well, I've never eaten walvark droppings, but I'm pretty certain I wouldn't enjoy those either.
- Sam I Am: But green eggs and ham are the most delicious-est, nutritious-est, greenest-est thing in the world, and, P.S., they are especially good here.
- Guy Am I: [annoyed] That's fantastic, but I don't want them. Here or otherwise.
- Sam I Am: Tell you what.
- [to Donna]
- Sam I Am: Make that two orders, Donna, on me.
- Guy Am I: [also to Donna, frustrated] No, just oat mush, and a spoon!
- Sam I Am: Sad Man Special.
- [sucks teeth]
- Sam I Am: Suit yourself.
- Narrator: Where does it matter, be it far or near? As long as it's any old where but here.
- Announcer: The 4:28 bus to AnyOldWhereButHere is departing in three seconds.
- People in the pool: We're going to Meepville!
- [Guy peeks out from behind the curtain to see the other inventors doing the conga]
- People in the pool: Ba, ba, ba, ba, Meepville! Ba, ba, ba, ba, Meepville!
- [Guy shuts the curtains]
- Man: You can still hear us!
- People in the pool: Those are just curtains!
- [Poor Guy pinches his brow and groans]
- Sam I Am: It's getting late. I should probably be heading home anyway. Got a bunch of friends there waiting for me. Gonna be a real hoot. Possibly a double hoot.
- [He chuckles]
- Sam I Am: I should give you my address in case you and the kitchen staff feel like coming by.
- Donna: I still have it, Sam. From the last time you invited us?
- [She gives Sam a warm smile. Sam, touched, returns a big beaming smile]
- Donna: And the six times before that.
- [Sam looks away, slightly embarrassed]
- Sam I Am: Oh, yeah. Of course.
- [For a split second he looks downhearted, but then he flashes Donna another friendly smile]
- Sam I Am: Of course!
- [He walks sadly to the door]
- Sam I Am: Night Donna!
- Donna: Goodnight, Sam.