Ah! My Goddess: Bad Goddess The Anime Video Comic (TV Series)

Evangelion Must Die & The Girl Meets World Sequel (2017)

Urdr Nornir: Urd

Quotes 

• Narrator : One ordinary day in May, three magical Goddesses of Fate, found themselves on the doorstep of a loveable college student named Keiichi Morisato. They had joy and laughter and many adventures together. And everyone was happy. Soon after their college days had ended, the Goddesses sold out and became an Anime Pop Culture Phenomenon that was shortly killed off two seasons later by those fucking Evangelion movies. This led to some hard feelings between the Goddesses and the Animation Staff on the original television show. But now the Goddesses were due to make a comeback, with a brand new satirical show called Bad Goddess. And with new fame and fortune on the horizons, they secretly plotted their revenge on the Evangelion series, which had been seeding in the back of their minds for decades. This is that story.

  Urd : Doctor What... we've thought long and hard about this. We know that there's been some tension among the cast with you going from a one off episode to a full time cast member. And if you are truly going to be inducted into the Oh My Goddess family, we would like to put you through a special initiation.

  Doctor What : What kind of initiation?

  Skuld : If you pull this off, you will forever be our hero.

  Doctor What : Pull what off? What do you want me to do?

  Belldandy : We want you to take us back in time so we can sabotage those fucking Evangelion movies before they have a chance to steal our animation staff away from us.

  Urd : And then maybe we can finally have a Third Season of Oh My Goddess!

  Doctor What : Well, yeah but, if I do that, then Bad Goddess will never exist. And I wasn't in the original manga or anime shows.

  Skuld : If you do this for us, we promise to put in a good word for you with Fujishima. We will not rest until he writes you into the original show.

  Doctor What : But in order to be canon to the series, I would have to be written into the manga.

  Belldandy : We'll worry about the details later.

  Doctor What : But aren't you worried that my presence in the manga might once again hijack your series?

  Urd : Doctor What, for the sake of both our series... EVANGELION MUST DIE!

• Doctor What : Forgive me for saying this, but, this sounds suspiciously like you want me to assassinate somebody.

  Skuld : Doctor What... we know... Lind told us about the Steve Urkel hit you did for her... Absolutely brilliant work. You saved the world from the most horrible sitcom on television.

  Belldandy : We just need you to do it one more time. Do it for me. Everybody Loves Belldandy.

  Doctor What : You know, I'm not too fond of the idea of spending the rest of my days on Nekomi Tech Campus, waiting around for Keiichi to man up and fuck his girlfriend. I mean, at least with this post apocalyptic sci fi setting, I can lend myself just a little towards Doctor Who, while maintatining the setting and spirit of Oh My Goddess.

  Urd : OH COME ON!

  Doctor What : Well, do you really want to go back to being a censored children's show?

  Belldandy : Yes. Kevin is a total fucking pervert who doesn't know how to write women. This is supposed to be my series, yet he's so inexperienced, he doesn't know how to write me as a lead character. He just passes me to the side as a couple of one liner comic relief moments. Unless he can squeeze a funny sex scene out of it.

  Urd : Yeah, and outside of the first story, since when has he actually completed a full screenplay beyond a half written rough draft.

  Skuld : I feel very obligated to complain to the producers right now. Now, don't get me wrong... Kevin had some really crazy ideas for where to take this series and some funny memorable dialogue, but I say it's time we ditched him.

  Doctor What : Look, I know Kevin is a little crass, but if you just hold out a little longer, he's got some really grand designs on where to take this series.

  Belldandy : And I'd bet my bottom dollar it centers around a Doctor Who episode.

• Doctor What : Okay... you didn't hear this from me, but you know Urd's girlfriend, Natsumi?

  Urd : What about her?

  Doctor What : Well, from what I hear, she's actually a cop from another one of Fujishima's manga series called You're Under Arrest.

  Belldandy : That doesn't impress me. Everybody does You're Under Arrest crossovers.

  Doctor What : Yeah, but check this out. When the Nuclear Holocaust happened, Natsumi and all of her partners were disbanded, and lost and spread out amongst the Five Goddess Planets with no way to contact and find each other.

  Urd : And let me guess, we're supposed to go planet hopping around finding them? Seriously, why would I want to go to all of that trouble just to help my own girlfriend hook up with one of her old exes again?

  Doctor What : You don't want to see this series go in that direction?

  Belldandy : No, Kevin can't even handle completing the simplest of stories. What the fuck makes you think he can handle a five part serial?

  Doctor What : You really want me to kill off the Evangelion series that badly?

  Skuld : Kill off? No, I want you to murder them in cold blood. They stole our animation staff. How would you like if if you had a wife, and she left you for David Tennant because Doctor Who is more legitimate?

  Belldandy : We truly love our animation staff. It broke our hearts deeply when they abandoned us.

  Urd : Please help us, Doctor What. You're the only one who can.

  Doctor What : Okay... I'm in.

  Belldandy : We knew we could count on you.

  Doctor What : So, who do I have to murder to stop Evangelion from happening?

  Urd : That's funny, I don't remember.

• Doctor What : Forgive me for asking, but have any of you ever actually sat down and watched Evangelion?

  Belldandy : No, why would we ever watch that piece of shit, that would turn us into the creepy, stalker ex-girlfriends.

  Doctor What : Well, surely you've done some kind of research on ths series.

  Skuld : Can't you just Wikipedia it?

  Doctor What : No, the Nuclear Holocaust killed Wikipedia.

  Urd : Can't you just travel back in time to a place when Wikipedia was still operational?

  Doctor What : Dude, that's like wasting gas on multiple unnecessary trips to the grocery store.

  Belldandy : Well, can't Kevin Neece just get off his lazy ass and look it up for us? He's from the other dimension.

  Doctor What : What? You mean, the guy that you just now said you wanted to fire off of his own series?

  Belldandy : For crying out loud, whose dick do I have to suck to get Oh My Goddess Season Three back on the air?

• Doctor What : Well, maybe you're thinking about this the wrong way. Maybe sending me back in time to bump off the creators of Evangelion is a little too extreme. Surely there must be another way to get Oh My Goddess Season Three back on the air.

  Urd : Doctor What may be right. Instead of blaming this on the Evangelion movies, maybe we should be asking ourselves where the Flights of Fancy series went wrong.

  Doctor What : Well, from what I can tell, the producers only had a limited number of episodes that were allowed to make and in order to condense all of the best episodes into the series, they had to skip over certain characters introductions that would've later come into Season Three.

  Belldandy : You're thinking about my housecat, Welsper, aren't you? His introduction story was when that whole stupid subplot about the Doublet System got started. I mean, can you believe that? Fujishima repeatedly created continuity problems in his own series by abandoning his own rules whenever they began to bore him, and what is the one thing he sticks with... the dumbass Eye for an Eye law.

  Skuld : As if that would ever stop people from killing each other in real life. I mean, the one likeable thing about Bad Goddess is that while Fujishima's depictions live in a world where everyone plays nice, Kevin's depictions understand that life just doesn't work that way. Fujishima's Oh My Goddess is a Beautiful Lie, and Kevin's Bad Goddess is the Ugly Hilarious Truth. Fujishima is the Optimist. Kevin lives in the Grey Area.

  Urd : The one thing that bugged me the most about Flights of Fancy is if you look up what issues happen in the manga, right around where they ended that season, you suddenly realize that they skipped over Keiichi being forced to drop out of college because he failed to get that last credit in German before the tuition money ran out. That's a real life consequence, and slightly more interesting is it represents an alternate reality in Fujishima's life. Fujishima graduated and went on to work in the manga industry. Keiichi dropped out and worked in the automotive industry. Fujishima chose to have Keiichi represent a real life problem that happens to a lot of people. And what did the creators of Flights of Fancy skip this episode for... The Song of Love That Shakes the Heart.

  Doctor What : You mean the one where Peorth's booster enhancement pill causes all of the Goddesses to suffer intense orgasms whenever Keiichi said, "I Love You"... that was a great episode.

  Belldandy : Please don't describe it like that.

  Doctor What : Like what?

  Belldandy : Kevin seems to be obsessed with people trying to make us die from orgasms for comedic purposes. And when you describe The Song of Love That Shakes the Heart in that manner, it almost lowers the original series down to his sick perverted level.

  Doctor What : How else am I supposed to describe it? That's exactly what it is.

• Urd : You know who else would've been introduced in Season Three... Sigel the Store Mannequin Robot. I always liked that nice little love/hate story between her and Mr Banpei.

  Skuld : Yeah, Sigel almost stole the series for a while there.

  Doctor What : The last story in the series that I enjoyed before it got caught up in the Neverending Niflheim Cliffhanger, was the one where you girls were having a Kiki for Megumi because her boyfriend broke up with her, and Skuld invented a Kaibo gun to erase her bad relationship memories like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but it backfired and gave the entire house amnesia.

  Belldandy : And then we spent the next few issues playing a detective game trying to figure out our own identities. That was a wonderful episode.

  Doctor What : Look, I've got to be honest with you. I'm glad that you all have fond memories of the original series. But sooner or later, you're just going to have to come to terms with the fact, that the series is over. You can like it. You can read it. But in the end, because Fujishima chose to move on with his life and cancel the manga, that's all that there is ever going to be. If you want to see new episodes of Oh My Goddess, the only option is to write them yourselves. And while we're on the subject, why would anyone want to go out and simply do the same things that Fujishima did? He's already done them. He did them for thirty years. One has to wonder if he wrote himself into a corner and felt trapped by the mechanisms of his own story. Don't you want to expand your horizons? Don't you want to do something new? Bad Goddess is all about that.

  Urd : You are absolutely right.

  Doctor What : Thank you.

  Urd : And now all we're asking you to do, is something that's never been seen in an Oh My Goddess series before.

  Doctor What : Hit me with it, I'm open for it.

  Urd : I want you to travel back in time and kill the creators of Evangelion so we can get our animation staff back.

  Doctor What : Oy Vey. Well, here we go again. The things I do for this tv series.

• Titles : THE GIRL MEETS WORLD SEQUEL

  Narrator : One ordinary day in May, three magical Goddesses of Fate, found themselves on the doorstep of a loveable college student named Keiichi Morisato. They had joy and laughter and many adventures together. And everyone was happy. Soon after their college days had ended, the Goddesses sold out and became an Anime Pop Culture Phenomenon, that was shortly cancelled after two seasons by the Evangelion Movies. And the Manga it was based on in Kodansha Afternoon Magazine hit a brick wall in 2014. Luckily for everyone, a disgruntled renegade fan writer decided to pick up where the manga left off, and revived the series as an adult humor meta satire. Unfortunately, the writer was also batshit insane. In a state of desperation, the Goddesses drafted their new time lord costar Doctor What, to travel back in time and assassinate the creators of Evangelion in hopes that the original series would retain their animation staff, and we would get an Oh My Goddess Season Three. And now with the original Oh My Goddess Season Three back on track, everyone was thrilled, to see the series reach where it was always destined to go. This is that story.

  Belldandy : Keiichi, you've overslept again. It's time to get up and go to class.

  Keiichi Morisato : I don't want to go to class. I'll just get Doctor What to take me there on time later.

  Belldandy : Who is Doctor What?

  Little Girl's Voice : Daddy, you're going to be late for class.

  Keiichi Morisato : Daddy?... Wait a minute... I don't have kids... I haven't been to college in twenty years!

  Belldandy : Keiichi? Are you feeling okay?

  Keiichi Morisato : Belldandy? How did we end up in our old temple? Who's the little girl? What's going on?

  Belldandy : You sound like you've been studying a little too hard. Don't you know your own daughter, Ariana?

  Keiichi Morisato : Since when do I have a daughter? I think I would've remembered a life event like that! What year is this?

  Belldandy : It's 1995.

  Urd : Yeah, Keiichi, it's always 1995. What's up with you today?

  Keiichi Morisato : 1995? It's supposed to be 2017!

• Keiichi Morisato : Where is that fucking Time Lord? When I get my hands on him!

  Belldandy : Did he just say Time Lord?

  Urd : Did he just say the F-Word?

  Belldandy : Keiichi, you can't say the F-Word!

  Keiichi Morisato : Like fuck I can't! What the fuck is going on here? Only Kevin from the Other Dimension would come up with a stupid plot like this!

  Urd : Plot? You're confusing me here... Do you mean like a TV Show?

  Keiichi Morisato : TV Show? That's it! I'm back in Oh My Goddess Flights of Fancy!

  Belldandy : Keiichi, what is Oh My Goddess Flights of Fancy? Who is Kevin from the Other Dimension?

  Urd : And what was all that about a Time Lord?

  Keiichi Morisato : Oh, no, no, no, no, no, don't even bring up the Time Lord! Don't even invoke his name! Ever since that fucking Time Lord showed up, there's been nothing but trouble! He's practically taken over the entire show!

• Belldandy : Keiichi, sweetie, this isn't a tv show. This is 1995, and you're about to be late for class. You've got a big test today at Nekomi Tech, and you've clearly stayed up too late, studying too hard.

  Keiichi Morisato : Belldandy, I was forced to drop out of college because I failed to graduate! I was missing a credit in German when the tuition money ran out! I've been working for Whirlwind Automotive for twenty years! We sold your life rights for an animated TV show called Oh My Goddess ages ago! It was cancelled after two seasons! You know this! I know you know this!

  Urd : Keiichi, there is not show called Oh My Goddess. There are no Time Lords, they're fictional. You've been watching too many episodes of Doctor Who.

  Keiichi Morisato : No, not Doctor Who... Doctor What! He was this knock-off of Doctor Who that used to show up on Sesame Street, but they fired him for showing up drunk on set, using foul language, and getting into fist fights. The last straw was when he tried to shank Big Bird in the face with a screwdriver. So he started his own show on Public Access. But all of this was really just a cover for the face that he was, in fact, an actual Time Lord.

  Belldandy : Keiichi, for the last time, there is no Planet Gallifrey.

  Keiichi Morisato : He didn't come from Planet Gallifrey, he's not the Doctor, he was one of you.

  Urd : One of us? You mean he was a Spirit? Did he wear our face emblems?

  Keiichi Morisato : No, he hid them so he could fit in, but he was a Spirit, and nobody could identify him.

  Belldandy : Keiichi, if he was a Spirit like one of us, then he would've been in the Yggdrasil System and we would've been able to identify him.

  Urd : Yeah, if one of our Gods was shirking his duties to impersonate Doctor Who, and get into drunken fist fights on Public Access, I think he would've had his license suspended by now.

  Belldandy : I mean, really, what kind of stupid joke is that?

• Keiichi Morisato : I'm telling you, I'm not making this up. Donald Trump stole the American Election from Hillary Clinton even though he lost by nearly three million votes. And no less than a few months afterwards, he turned ICE Immigration into his own personal SS Officers. It was like the Rise of Nazi Germany for Muslims and Illegal Immigrants all over again. He destroyed Health Care, he fired the head of the FBI for investigating him. And finally, to top it all off, he antagonized Kim Jong Un so much, that he started off a Nuclear Apocalypse and Planet Earth was destroyed.

  Belldandy : Well, Keiichi, you can reast easy in knowing that Planet Earth is still here. We are all safe and sound, here in 1995 Nekomi Japan.

  Urd : Where there are no tv shows called Oh My Goddess.

  Belldandy : And no time lords named Doctor What.

  Urd : And no foul language.

  Keiichi Morisato : Don't be fucking silly, of course there's foul language.

  Urd : Hold on a second, if Planet Earth was destroyed, then how were you still alive?

  Keiichi Morisato : The Almighty was overwhelmed by all of the unexpected new arrivals, so to get rid of them, he fabricated five new Goddess Planets, which he named after you and your friends. We all lived on Planet Belldandy where everything was upgraded with futuristic Blade Runner technology. And Skuld opened up her own restaurant which was a cross between Chuck E Cheese, Benihanas, and a Pole Dancing Strip Club. Belldandy was one of their best Pole Dancers.

  Belldandy : Keiichi... I am not a stripper...

  Keiichi Morisato : No, not stripping... Pole Dancing. Pole Dancing is an expressionistic art form.

  Urd : No, it's not, Keiichi, it's mostly associated with Strip Clubs. We're Goddesses, not Strippers.

  Keiichi Morisato : But it went mainstream in the 2000s era when Foreign Talent Shows became a big thing.

• Belldandy : Keiichi, this is not the 2000s era. This is 1995. It's always been 1995 for as long as I can remember. All you've ever done with your life is go to Nekomi Tech and get into crazy adventures with us.

  Urd : Yeah, half the fun of it is watching you freak out when we tried to get you to take your relationship with Belldandy to the next level.

  Keiichi Morisato : But I don't have that problem anymore! We have sex every night!

  Belldandy : Sex?... Every night?... Keiichi we talked about this. I want fulfill your desires, but I can't!... I just can't!

  Keiichi Morisato : Oh, believe me, you did, you REALLY did!

  Urd : Were there Daleks in this universe?

  Keiichi Morisato : Daleks?

  Urd : Yeah, you said there was this Doctor Who character... did he fight the Daleks?

  Keiichi Morisato : No, he didn't, because they're fictional. But there were these other guys, they called themselves The Individual Me's. They believed that your race of Goddesses were a race of Interdimensional Aliens holding the world under occupation, so you could harvest it for human souls, and Yggdrasil was the Matrix. So they launched this full scale rebellion attack on Yggdrasil Central and they almost destroyed the universe in the process.

  Belldandy : Wait, are you implying that we're the aliens in Doctor Who?

  Keiichi Morisato : No, I'm saying that you could be misconstrued as Interdimensional Aliens by someone who doesn't know better. Like those conspiracy theoriests that believe everything they read off the internet.

  Belldandy : But... we're not Aliens... we're Goddesses. What kind of strange terrorist group calles themselves The Individual Me's?

  Keiichi Morisato : It's kind of like a metaphor for all the self centered people in life. We not only apply it to the terrorist group, but we use it to refer to any self centered people that want to destroy society for their own personal gain.

  Urd : And once again, this is 1995. There aren't too many terrorists around, much less ones called The Individual Me's.

• Keiichi Morisato : Yeah, but wait till the September 11th incident happens, with the Destruction of the World Trade Center Two Towers, it's kind of hard ot ignore terrorism once it passes that date.

  Belldandy : That sounds kind of similar to Nostradamus.

  Keiichi Morisato : Oh, yeah, the United States was practically this alternate universe version of George Orwell's 1984, what with the Government perpetually going to war, and spying on it's own citizens using the internet, and torturing terrorist suspects in Guantanimo Bay. They suffered through eight years of this fucking war profiteer scumfucker named George W Bush, and finally he got replaced with the first Black President in American History.

  Urd : A Black President? Really? That'll never happen. American Presidents are all stuffy white old guys.

  Keiichi Morisato : Oh believe me, the shit he suffered through was neverending. Barack Obama was one of the best American Presidents ever, so what did America do about it? They repeatedly demanded to see his birth certificate thinking they could impeach him for not being born on American Soil. The Republican Congress tried to obstruct him at every turn, and despite all this, he still managed to do his job. Fox News ran propaganda to make it look like he was doing a terrible job when he really came closer to fixing the economy than anyone else. His life was a living fucking hell.

  Urd : Okay, that does sound like White America.

  Keiichi Morisato : Yeah, and then a woman named Hillary Clinton won the next election, but they gave it to Billionaire Donald Trump instead.

  Belldandy : Okay, that definately sounds like White America.

  Keiichi Morisato : I've got it! I've found the one similarity between our two universes!

  Urd : And that is?

  Keiichi Morisato : If you're Goddesses from the Afterlife, and not Interdimensional Aliens, then where is Jesus Christ?

  Urd : Well, I would think the answer is obvious... Jesus isn't real.

  Keiichi Morisato : HA! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! YOU KNOW HOW I KNEW THAT? BECAUSE JESUS DIDN'T EXIST IN THE BAD GODDESS UNIVERSE EITHER!

  Urd : No, it's because the only time Belldandy ever tried to have sex with you was when she was drugged under a love potion in that Christian Church. Now stop and think about that for a minute, if Jesus Christ was real, don't you think a First Class Goddess like Belldandy would've thought twice about that?

  Keiichi Morisato : Stop right there! You just said, the ONLY time Belldandy tried to have sex with me. Now, if Belldandy and I have never had sex before, then how do we have a child together?

  Belldandy : Keiichi, we talked about this, you said you were okay with Adoption.

  Urd : Yeah, we're like two completely different species, dude. You couldn't have blood related children together because you're not genetically compatible.

  Belldandy : Exactly, it would be like a Dog having children with a Cat, or a Gorilla having children with a Swan. It's just not genetically achievable.

• Urd : Is there anything else we need to know about this fictional crazy universe of yours?

  Keiichi Morisato : Yes... you're also in a Lesbian Relationship with ax Ex-Police Officer named Natsumi Tsujimoto.

  Urd : Wait, wait, wait... YOU MEAN I'M GAY?

  Keiichi Morisato : Well, sort of, it's kind of like this bisexual open relationship. Sometimes you bring home a guy from a club and take turns on him. We can hear you two from the next room.

  Urd : I-I-I... I don't know what to say about that.

  Keiichi Morisato : Oh... I give up.

• Urd : Maybe that's the problem. You're still thinking about how to fix things in our world. When you should be thinking about how the rules of this other world of yours would apply. What differentiates this other universe of yours from this one? Are we really so different?

  Keiichi Morisato : You're not all that different. I'd like to believe you're the same Goddesses, although you do use an extreme amount of foul language.

  Urd : Is that the problem? You want us to talk dirty to you?

  Keiichi Morisato : No, that's not it... it's something else... something I can't quite put my finger on...

  Urd : Sounds like you're having an early existential midlife crisis.

  Keiichi Morisato : Existential...? That's it... It's the Fourth Wall. BAD GODDESS IS AWARE OF ITSELF AND BREAKS THE FOURTH WALL! IT'S A SATIRICAL EXISTENTIAL EXAMINATION OF THE OH MY GODDESS UNIVERSE. SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF SOMEONE WHO ISN'T AFRAID TO OFFEND EVERYONE! NOT EVEN THE ORIGINAL CREATORS OF THE TV SHOW!

  Urd : The Fourth Wall? Is that why you've been saying all of these crazy things lately? Is that why you talk to thin air?

  Keiichi Morisato : All this time, I've been fretting about how to find Doctor What, when all along, it didn't matter who Doctor What was in the Bad Goddess universe. Because in the other dimension, in Kevin's mind, Doctor What is Charlie Day. Belldandy recognized his voice and said he sounded like Charlie Day from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I think I'm finally doing it. I'm beginning to think outside the box like Kevin does.

  Urd : I have no clue what you're talking about...

  Keiichi Morisato : But I do. Where do they shoot It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

  Urd : Oh man, good luck, that's all the way out there in the United States.

  Keiichi Morisato : That's the best part. Kevin is such an unbelievably shitty writer, that it should only take me one paragraph description to get there.

  Urd : Holy God, that's Meta.

• Keiichi Morisato : Urd, it's okay, you don't have to censor yourself anymore.

  Urd : Just what are you trying to say here?

  Keiichi Morisato : I'm saying I want you to take dirty to me.

  Urd : Okay... you are headed for the Looney Bin.

  Keiichi Morisato : No, that's not good enough! I don't want you to talk CLEAN! I want you to talk DIRTY to me! I want you to run out to your windows and scream dirty obscenities out to the Heavens! I want you all to be free again!

  Urd : Keiichi, I know I wear my sexuality on my sleeve, but it's not in my nature as a Goddess to do things like that.

  Keiichi Morisato : And that's the difference. Kevin wrote you to be more than just Goddesses. Kevin wrote you to be fearless. Kevin didn't write you as bisexual for cheap laughs. He did it because you're the only Goddess in Fujishima's universe with the guts to make a stand like that. You didn't just come out of the closet, you stood up and told the Almighty himself that if he didn't like it, he could go fuck himself. Every born again Christian alive lives in fear of offending God, but you stood for what you believed in, and I WAS THERE, I HEARD YOU, YOU TOLD GOD TO GO FUCK HIMSELF RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY. That's the universe I want to live in. That's the sister in law that I love!

  Urd : That's- that's- oh God, that's so unlike you, I think I need a Valium.

  Keiichi Morisato : Now for the last time, I want you to talk dirty to me. And if you still can't do it, I won't rest until I find the Goddess within you that can.

  Urd : I know this sounds strange, but I think I'm starting to believe you. The Keiichi I knew wasn't exactly a coward, but he would never have the guts to say something like that.

  Keiichi Morisato : But I'm not Fujishima's Keiichi anymore. I'm Bad Goddess Keiichi. You don't believe me? Belldandy! I need to speak to you!

  Belldandy : Yes, Keiichi?

  Keiichi Morisato : I have to make a little trip, but when I get back, I'm going to FUCK THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU. I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU SO HARD THAT YOU'LL PASS OUT FROM ORGASM! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU SO HARD THE POLICE WILL COME TO OUR HOUSE AND THREATEN US WITH A NOISE COMPLAINT! And if Skuld doesn't like it, THAT'S JUST TOUGH SHIT.

  Urd : You Creep.

  Keiichi Morisato : So wait for me... and think of me... and I'll be back a better man.

  Belldandy : Wait! Where are we going?

  Urd : Yeah, hold up, we're coming with you!

• Belldandy : Keiichi... who is this?

  Urd : Is this who you've been looking for? Is this Doctor What?

  Keiichi Morisato : You're goddamn fucking right he is.

  Belldandy : Who is Doctor What?

  Keiichi Morisato : He's everybody's favorite Public Access Time Lord.

  Belldandy : That's not a very high goal to set for one's self.

  Skuld : Doctor What doesn't fight the Daleks. Doctor What fights real life, and believe me, that's enough... Wait... Where did I get that from?

  Doctor What : From the heart, Skuld. You remembered it from the heart. Only you are beautiful enough to never forget it.

  Skuld : What happened? Where are we?

  Doctor What : We're not on Planet Earth anymore. We're on Planet Belldandy. By jumpstarting the Goddesses' subconscious memory of the Bad Goddess universe, my contract with the Goddesses became null and void. Which also means... We can now watch the entire series of Evangelion on Netflix.

  Urd : Well, back to the old drawing board.

  Titles : THE FUTURE IS NOW. SO LET'S ALL LIVE IN IT.

• Urd : So THIS is the Evangelion show that got your series cancelled?

  Doctor What : You didn't like it?

  Urd : No, it's surprisingly fucking awesome.

  Belldandy : You know, instead of being upset that Evangelion stole our animation staff, I guess we should've been supporting them in their efforts. They fired the show on all four cylinders and it really paid off.

  Doctor What : You want to show your support? Kosuke Fujishima still has a few new manga series going right now, and they could use a little love, especially since he now has a new wife and child on the way to support.

  Belldandy : Doctor What?

  Doctor What : Yes, Belldandy.

  Belldandy : Welcome to the Family.