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The Sadness (2021)
2/10
A horror film that wallows in it's own hatred.
30 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
"The Sadness" (2022) a Raven Banner Entertainment release of a Rob Jabbaz film. Starring: Berant Zhu, Regina Lei, Tzu-Chiang Wang, Emerson Tsai, Wei-Hua Lan, Ralf Chiu, Lue-Keng Huang, and Ying-Ru Chen. Produced by Jeffrey Huang, David Barker, and Wei-Chun Lu. Written and Directed by Rob Jabbaz.

Heralded as a fresh take on the "Zombie" genre, Rob Jabbaz's "The Sadness" hits streaming on online services with a vengeance that seems almost as rabid as the film itself tries to be.

The basic premise is as with most other apocalyptic viral horror films. An outbreak of some virulent virus leads to a complete breakdown of society.

The film opens modestly with an almost boring and complacent relationship between Jim (Berant Zhu) and Kat (Regina Lei) preparing for the work day. Their relationship seems comfortable if not really passionate. Jim drives Kat to the Train Station and drops her off, while he goes off to a little cafe.

It is here that the film casually shifts into second gear, and stays in second for the remainder of the film.

On the train, Kat is shyly approached by an older businessman (Tzu-Chiang Wang), who comments on her looks and youth. Kat rebuffs the advances, and feeling slightly embarrassed, moves away from the man.

It is at this moment that another passenger on the train is violently attacked. This escalates as one passenger after another either is attacking someone or being attacked. The violence here is over the top and gratuitous, foregoing the initial shock into becoming almost a parody of itself.

Kat is soon approached again by the Businessman, whose eyes have now gone completely black (a telltale sign of being infected). The businessman attacks Molly (Ying-Ru Chen), who is sitting next to Kat, stabbing her in the eye with his umbrella. As panic ensues, Kat drags Molly off the train and the two of them try to escape the encroaching madness.

All this takes place while Jim is attacked by his neighbor, and unable to reach Kat (who has lost her Cellphone in the mayhem) goes off on his scooter to find and rescue her.

That this film succeeds in being a disturbing and an engrossing display of bravura, it is not without being riff with disturbing misogyny. Those victims of the "plague" are driven to indulge their most based and violent desires. The film simply wallows in depravity and that old chestnut that violence and especially sexual violence are acceptable and a basic human nature. While an interesting idea conceptually, it is handled here as a mere spectacle with no corresponding denouncement or explanation. It simply "is what it is"!

The best performance comes from Tzu-Chiang Wang, as the Businessman. He approaches his performance with a nice nuanced turn of madness, that gradually increases as the film moves along.

That he remains cognizant of his actions and relishes in them, becomes much more frightening than anything else in the film.

There are a few parting bits of character development, but the performance by Berant Zhu and (especially) Regina Lei are so one-shot and bereft of development that they fair less well than the numerous examples of madness on display.

It's easy to make a film that is disturbing. Hell, that's been the case since the beginning of motion pictures, what with such desperate creatives as Dwain Esper, David DeFalco, Harry B. Parkinson, Hershel Gordon Lewis, and J. G. Patterson Jr. To name a few. But that is not a clique I think one should hold as aspirational.

A film can be depraved, disturbing, and yes even abhorrent. But if it carries with it a mirror on society or even a point of view that is worthy of discussion, we can evaluate it honestly.

"The Sadness" unfortunately, has all the insight and societal awareness of professional wrestling.

2 stars (and that's being forgiving).
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Pinocchio (I) (2022)
2/10
A Disasterous re-invisioned take on a classic film
29 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Robert Zemeckis has made some remarkable films. From "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" (1978) to "Forrest Gump" and "Welcome to Marwen". But here, something went terribly wrong.

Now there is no barometer, no metric that says that an artist cannot adapt, change, and re-imagine a classic story. That has been the history of filmmaking. Taking a novel or a short tale and fashioning it into a 3-act structure. And it's not an easy task to take any previously realized source and compress of expand it to fit within that parameter.

But the basic tenet of any form of storytelling is to have a point, be it philosophical, compassionate, understanding, or exploitative. Writers and Directors have taken the work of Poe, Stoker, Salten, even Shakespeare have been adapted into films that are dramatically different from their original text.

This brings us to "Pinocchio" (2022). Robert Zemeckis has crafted a tart confection. One, that for many reasons is neither bitter nor sweet.

From the opening musical number, we are jolted into an exercise of commercial excess. The music does not soar, even though the lyrics are basically the same, something in this new arrangement is off. The performance is fine, but there is something in the arrangement that is, for lack of a better description seems like a subtle parody. Something here is not right. As if someone did not take the tale and it's meaning seriously (let alone emotionally).

From there we follow a quick path through the well know adventures of the characters. But the flow is abrupt. It sets up one note jokes that fall flat. It introduces dangers that are so contrived that they seem almost trivial.

When you most pointed moment is the discovery of excrement, it seems redundant to say you've scrapped the bottom of the barrel.

Add to that, the film is set up with an open ending (Pinocchio's wish is not granted), for a potential sequel (or two). It stinks of a cash grab. And a calculated one. While there are some moments of mirth and ambition, this current take on "Pinocchio" is a soulless exercise, that doesn't earn what few joys it offers.
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1/10
Imbecilic and boreing.
8 February 2022
Lets just call "Cowgirls vs. Pterodactyls" what it is.

A $3000.00 home movie. Some kids are seriously spoiled!

A woman sees her husband killed by a group of "pteranodons", and unable to get the local Sheriff to help her, goes out on her own to destroy the euphonious beasts. Gathering together a group of misfits, and a female gunslinger, they do battle with the stop-motion creatures. There are faux moments of female empowerment that simply grate in their naivety.

Direction is limited to extended closeup of people mincing and rolling their eyes, performances are less believable than anything Edward D. Wood and Dolores Fuller attempted.

While there are some stop-motion animated creatures, they are less credible than a hand puppet (which is also used). Effects are amateurish, performances are are not even phoned in, and the dialogue is trite and juvenile.

This is simply a very bad film.

But I guess when your goal is to make a bad film, Success is it's own justification. But then, so is navel gazing.
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The Call (2020)
8/10
Remarkable thriller that will keep you guessing!
30 November 2020
Okay full review here. I won't give away any spoilers. This is a taught and marvelously inventive little horror film. In what seems to me to be an lift from from the Dennis Quaid/ Jim Cavievel film of 2000, "Frequency", we have a young woman who finds an old wireless landline phone in her parents old house. She receives a call one night from a young girl who is about to be murdered by her mother. The hitch here is that the young girl calling had died 10 years earlier.

That's all your going to get from me as far as plot. But let me say that this film was a good surprise! It kept breaking my second guesses and what I thought was going to transpire at every turn.

Writer/ Director Chung-Hyun Lee has built a marvelous thriller and has gotten two absolutely rock solid performances by actresses Jong-seo Jun and Park Shin-Hye. The film is a must see for all horror fans, but anyone who enjoys a good thriller will be riveted.

As with most (if not all) time travel plot lines, there are parallels that shouldn't be possible, but the script is so well written that these conundrums are almost always addressed, and creatively so.

It is a roller coaster ride, and as tight as a new catcher's mitt. Sit back, turn on Netflix. and watch this little beauty. And stay through the end credits as a bit more terror awaits.
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The Maiden (2016)
7/10
Promising short film. Effectively creepy and a couple of good scares.
4 May 2016
"The Maiden" is a surprisingly good and effective little short film. Written and director by Michael Chaves, the film manages to set a feeling of dread from the beginning, but it is as the short continues that it gets under your skin. The lead performance by Alia Raelynn is very good and shows good promise. The techniques and special effects used in the film are seamless, in that I could not tell if they were digitally created or done practical. I won't be giving away any of the plot, as this is something to see and experience with no primer. Suffice to say this is a good little scare film. I enjoyed this and look forward to seeing more from this talented group.
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Mercenaries (2014)
1/10
Inept Home Movie
24 September 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Have to give THE ASYLUM credit. They go out of their way to make mediocre films. Here we have a standing Mexican village and Western town set, used as a Russian village. (populated by three people, two of whom are constantly crossing in front of the camera in the same costumes). Vivica A. Fox has a poker game with a group of henchmen, and they wager poker chips instead of cash. As Vivica wins the pot she is overjoyed, as if she won something other than a bag of red and blue plastic coins.

I feel so sorry for the ladies in this. Fight scenes are all filmed with a camera hung on the end of 'Slinky"!! Not the worse film I've seen, but probably the best buffed turd (as opposed to polished or gold platted) I've come across in ages.

Mediocre plot, awful performances, inept direction (how many times can you see the Antelope Valley ion the background of shots, I lost count) Don't waste your time! Not even in the so bad it's good category. This is the entertainment equivalent of watching someone build a 'Big Mac' at a McDonald's.

What next, guys? "Mercenaries VS. Sharknado"?
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Afro Ninja (2009 Video)
5/10
Fun and enjoyable low budget film
4 July 2009
Mark Hicks' film "Afro Ninja: Destiny" obviously came about due to the notoriety of Mr. Hicks' viral video. That being said, Hicks has put together a lighthearted action comedy. A real pleasure seeing Jim Kelly, back on screen (even if it is simply a cameo). Also catching stunt performers Michiko Nishiwaki and Ming Qiu in what are comedic roles is a very nice surprise. While the fight scenes are nothing spectacular, they are performed with the right level of tongue in cheek bravado. But what makes this film work best, are the many character moments given to the cast. This is obviously a film that was a labor of love and a good time for all involved.

Simply a fun movie, that breezes along without overstaying its welcome. It will be nice to see what Directer/ Star Mark Hicks does next.
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1/10
Huh?!
31 July 2005
Director A. Raven Cruz has managed to effectively make one long tribute to the creative talents of Phil Tucker (Robot Monster), Hal Warren (Manos, the Hand of Fate), and the ubiquitous Edward D. Wood.

Now Phil Tucker at least worked with Lenny Bruce, and did have a rudimentary knowledge of editing (how else could he have cut all that stock footage into his films). And Hall Warren at least had the common decency to stop making films, after his first one. And Ed Wood, well bless his pointed angora draped head, he was just too wacky to ignore. But one thing these guys all had in common, they tried to tell a story.

The Helix: Loaded is a vanity piece masquerading as a movie. Anyone that could look at this film and believe it deserves a "10" has been sitting in a closed garage with the engine running. "The Helix: Loaded" doesn't simply suck. It Swallows!
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Anna's Eve (2004)
5/10
Enjoyably moody spook show.
19 October 2004
'Anna's Eve" is a promising debut. This first feature, while not without it's flaws, manages to simply create a feeling of dread that has been lacking from American horror for far too long. While this film harkens back to some of the classic Val Lewton films of the 40's, "Anna's Eve", is not without its shock moments. The cast is appealing, with Grayce Wey holding the films focus with a strong performance, as her character begins to question her own sanity as those around her succumb to the mysterious specter of Eve (Lorielle New). The film suffers from its budget constraints, but still manages to deliver what it promises. The surprise ending will definitely give you the chills.
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The Fear of Speed (2002 Video)
1/10
Bad amateur pseudo porno flick.
12 January 2003
Warning: Spoilers
SPOILERS INCLUDED

Bad. Bad. Bad. Ridiculous shot on video production about illegal trafficking in bodily secretions (!) and a female race car driver who can only overcome her "fear of speed" through orgasm. Performances are stilted and less than amateurish making legitimate adult films seem professional by comparison. Starlet Ada Mae Johnson shows no screen presence whatsoever, attacking her performance with all the gusto of a sleep deprived accident victim. Dale Rutter seems much more comfortable behind the wheel than behind his co-star, and Alex Torre (as Rico) manages the most embarrassing portrayal of a Latin since the Frito Bandito.

The action / fight scenes are plentiful but ridiculously boring. Everybody gets to throw their kicks and punches and exercise some flashy whu-shu gestures without the slightest bit of energy or imagination. The fight scenes are to put it simply, dull and unoriginal. Add to that that the obvious reason for the film (the numerous erotic couplings), are shot so unimaginatively, (and edited to avoid exposing any genitalia) that the film seems to embrace its ineptitude.

While some of the photography and camera work is acceptable (not good, just acceptable), it comes off simply as flashy excess adding nothing to the film. The script (credited to Mr. Centari and Nigel P. Rocketts (?)) is beyond bad. The central conceit of explosive semen (yes, you read that correctly) is so wrongheaded and juvenile as to defy criticism. This almost (and I say almost) reaches the level of a cable access show. Humor is beneath gutter level and never rises above it. Dialogue is undeveloped, never driving the plot forward. And did I mention that everyone knows kung fu.

Infantile and brain dead, 'Fear of Speed' is simply a waste. Not of talent, since there seems to be such a short supply of it here, but on the time of the viewer which could have been better spent polishing their sneakers. Stanley Kubrick said it best that by studying bad films, one could learn what not to do in making a feature film. `Fear of Speed' offers up an encyclopedic educational experience for those with the where-with-all to suffer through it.
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8/10
Thought provoking and moving.
25 August 2002
A fascinating drama that eschews the typical structure that revenge dramas usually embrace. A leisurely (some might say slow) pace that allows the locale and characters establish themselves. This is not a story that concentrates so much on plot as it does on character. And that is what makes this film so riveting. Fine performances from the entire cast, a thoughtful script by Rod Festinger and Todd Field and absolutely beautiful cinematography by Antonio Calvache make this a marvelous viewing experience. Definitely not for those who suffer from ADD, this is a story about cause and effect. The end result of the film leaves one questioning the worth and repercussions of vengeance. A marvelous film.
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8/10
A marvelously enjoyable fantasy.
7 October 2001
"Shaolin Soccer" is pure enjoyment. From the opening theme music (which is the same theme used in Bruce Lee's "Way of the Dragon") to the final image, the film continually charms. Hong Kong superstar Stephen Chow has managed to continue his comedic style, but has toned down his dialect humor in favor of a more straight forward approach.

The comedy within the film is not high brow by any means. However, the film succeeds in winning the viewer over with it's wonderfully enchanting special effects, and the performances by the leads. The entire cast turn in good performances. The script, and (especially) the Direction push the film over the top. This is simple one of the most enjoyable films I've seen this year. With it's message of striving towards one's goal, and a belief outside of oneself, this would make for an enjoyable family film.

If you have the chance to see it, do so. You will not be disappointed.
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