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Reviews
Samehada otoko to momojiri onna (1998)
Ski!
Everything about this movie is great: funny dialogue, great action sequences, wonderful characters and superb camera-work throughout. One can see the director was influenced by Takeshi's movies: that is a compliment. Do not let the pace fool you, this is typical of Japanese moviemaking. Let's see them make movies like this in Hollywood: I don't think so.
The Book of Life (1998)
Hal should have known better
This movie was shot using a digital camera, and it shows. There were enough annoying digital tricks used to alienate the viewer, also with the help of a terrible score. As if that weren't enough, the acting was also terrible. Now in Hartley's movies the acting is always peculiar, but here it was just BAD, especially by Satan (Thomas Jay Ryan)and Harvey, who (thank god) doesn't get to say much. After all these external problems it is also very unfortunate that the story itself is not that good, either. The jokes are predictable and unbelievably straightforward, and the events just rumble on from one incident to the next. The so-called book of life with Armageddon inside isn't much more than an excuse to see actors struggle to say their lines. All in all this movie is a waste of time and money and effort. Thumbs down.
Louis & Frank (1998)
Rockwell hits rock-bottom
This movie is a complete failure. The characters of Louis and Frank appeared in Rockwell's earlier feature "In the Soup", which was a very good movie. The jokes are pathetic, the adlibbing of the actors terrible and the story isn't that great either. The roles of Tony Curtis (who shames himself tremendously) and the equally unfortunate Steve Buscemi, who plays a transvestite of sorts, are a total waste. The biggest failures are Louis and Frank themselves, though. Truly an abysmal film, especially after the infinitely better In the Soup. Vote: a well-deserved 1.
Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1995)
My gawd!
Truly abysmal. The worst of the worst. Really, really bad. And the thing is that people actually thought the first instalment was worth a look. I do not agree. And this one is totally redundant. The first Lawnmower man should not have been made in the first place, so we wouldn't have had this TURKEY.
Kizzu ritân (1996)
Another great Takeshi
With this film Takeshi takes a look back at the past in the lives of several men who are in the same school. The two protagonists each choose their own direction: one becomes a boxer, the other joins the yakuza. The story is a reflection on how the choices a man makes can affect their lives and their relationships. As always the drama is interwoven with occasional scenes of violence, and the comedy is dark but never too depressing. Everything about Kids Return is good, and therefore another great piece of Japanse film-making.
The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1994)
If only I could vote a "0"
This is really beyond belief. And to think that Zellwegger and McConaughy are now stars... I guess miracles do happen...
Exquisite Tenderness (1995)
Go to ER after seeing this...
I don't know what it is with these hospital-horror flicks, but they are almost all bad. Extreme measures, etc, etc. Of course one could have known after seeing Knight Moves by the same director, that this was gonna be bad. If they put Malcolm McDowell second or third in the opening credits and you have another warning nowadays. You'd better watch Coma instead, at least that one is good.
Highway to Hell (1991)
Quite enjoyable
Fair horror flick. Nothing too fancy, but makes for nice viewing. Perhaps lacking in the gore department, but there are some funny moments. More a horror/comedy than a gorefest.
Basket Case 2 (1990)
They must have been crazy
The sequel was invented by the horror-genre, it seems, and every flick must have one. This sequel is not a total waste, but it isn't good either. A pastime this barely qualifies, but I'm in a very good mood. Frankenhooker is a much better Henenlotter film. And to believe they even have a third installment...
Shocker (1989)
Freddy beat Shocker
Shocker is not that bad. The second half of the movie is actually quite good. Too bad it had to compete with the Freddy Krueger character, that proved to be Shocker's downfall. Still, this movie has been remade, sort of: Check out the awful Fallen starring Denzel Washington, and see where they stole the idea there from!
Les mémés cannibales (1988)
Not bad considering
This movie was picked up by Troma, and they released for the world to see. I am glad they did. For a D horror-production this isn't bad: it is brutal and has some nice black comedy. And everybody dies, what more can one want?
The Man in the Iron Mask (1998)
Another bad Dumas adaptation
After the three musketeers Disney movie, a horrible new version of the classic Dumas story, I was hesitant to go see this movie, starring Leonardo, but with a great supporting cast. My feelings were right: Man in the Iron Mask is tedious and lacks suspense, and avoids the political background the Dumas story had. The great support actors are sadly wasted. The typical ending is another great example of how not to do it. I should have avoided this.
71 Fragmente einer Chronologie des Zufalls (1994)
I'll never play table tennis again
A fine movie that explores the lives of many strangers in Austria that are connected by the same thing: all their lives are pointless and meaningless. Though the pace is slow all the scenes work to the conclusion that is the only solution to break the deadlock. A thought-provoking film.
Christopher Columbus: The Discovery (1992)
Christopher Columbus: the Travesty
Really not much of anything: all the things that could have been interesting to work out (such as the enslavement of the natives) are not pursued, but rather avoided, and the cast isn't great either. Tom Selleck as the King of Spain is an exceptional example of miscasting. There is lack of depth and indeed lack of actual involvement with the subject. Too bad, now the movie is boring and pointless, really. Watch 1492 Conquest of Paradise instead.
Benny's Video (1992)
Slow and unsatisfactory Haneke
This is another Haneke movie that explores violence and people's responses to it. The thing is, though, that the plot doesn't make sense. Slowly it moves towards its predictable but illogical conclusion. There are some powerful scenes, especially those on "video", but they cannot save the movie. Haneke's other works on violence and such, 71 Fragmente and the incredible Funny Games, are both much better than this one.
Surrender Dorothy (1998)
Sick with funny moments
This movie about a sexually depraved young man starts out good enough, but as soon as Dorothy appears, the story turns for the worse. Definitely not for everyone, though one could say the makers have been bold enough to make a movie about this subject.
I could care less, frankly, and was sometimes unpleasantly surprised by the eagerness of both leads to make it a realistic experience. Vote: 5/6
Rush Hour (1998)
A big disappointment
This movie was bad. Really bad. And that is too bad, too, for with Jackie Chan aboard a lot could have been done to make a good movie out of it. Beside the fact that the story is abysmal, the action sequences are not that good either, to say the least, and with Jackie Chan one can expect more.
The greatest failure is the casting of Chris Tucker, who is not only an annoying sidekick, but also NOT funny. Shame on him for letting Jackie down like that. But it should have been clear that after the Fifth Element Tucker should not have starred in any movie again. Vote: 1
Orphans (1998)
Another Scottish wee-drama
This movie was quite a disappointment. And the Problem is that we've all seen stuff like this before in better films. The film' s biggest problem is that it cannot decide whether to be a drama or a comedy. These genres do not mix, and this is an excellent example of how to mess it up. The dialogue is typical "I can shout in my accent and make it sound like fine acting" which we see in too many movies nowadays. The acting is bad, especially by the three leads. And the wheelchaired sister isn't funny/heartbreaking either: rather a nuisance throughout. If scottish movies are going to keep being like this (all roughly the same since trainspotting) it's gonna die out as quick as it came.
Sono otoko, kyôbô ni tsuki (1989)
Great movie!
Violent Cop is Japanese cinema at its best, and also Takeshi at his best. The movie is gripping, not only due to the in-your-face violence, but also due to emotion between the character of Takeshi and that of his sister. A lot of the emotional bond they share is implied, but it gives the movie much more depth than the average cop thriller. Though it may not be easy to watch for a western audience due to its pace, Violent Cop is still one of the more accessible movies in Japanese cinema. A masterpiece, like Sonatine and the acclaimed Hana-Bi.
Bullet Ballet (1998)
Second half disaster!
Bullet Ballet starts out as a fine movie: man wants to avenge his wife, who had connections with a criminal organization. But how does he, a businessman, get a gun? The first 45 minutes deal with this and his search for the criminals: it is turning out to be a sort of Japanese Taxi Driver... But then during a gang fight the story shifts, to its demise, unfortunately. From then on you're looking at a lost cause, as every thread of plot from the first half is trashed and an entirely new movie appears, a very bad movie. Too bad, since Tsakamoto has made some fine movies before.
Orphans (1998)
Another Scottish wee-drama
This movie was quite a disappointment. And the Problem is that we've all seen stuff like this before in better films. The film' s biggest problem is that it cannot decide whether to be a drama or a comedy. These genres do not mix, and this is an excellent example of how to mess it up. The dialogue is typical "I can shout in my accent and make it sound like fine acting" which we see in too many movies nowadays. The acting is bad, especially by the three leads. And the wheelchaired sister isn't funny/heartbreaking either: rather a nuisance throughout. If scottish movies are going to keep being like this (all roughly the same since trainspotting) it's gonna die out as quick as it came.
Enemy of the State (1998)
Okay but for the laughs
Let's be short: An okay movie. It is just a shame that Hollywood feels the need to add lame one-liners and silly sight gags (THE CAT REACTS TO SEX ON TV!!??), which undermine the seriousness of the subject and the story. Then there are some faults I can't quite comprehend, like the mike hanging on the top of the screen when Smith tries to contact Tom Sizemore when Will's life is starting to fall apart. The plot itself has some inconsistencies, but a close examination will only lead to the perhaps total destruction of the movie's credibility.
Don't expect too much, enjoy Gene Hackman's older version of the man he played in the Conversation, and the references to that film and you'll have a good time, though it has to be said that it could have been a much better film if some effort was put into it.
Dobermann (1997)
All out onslaught
Most movies portray comic book characters as farcical and ultimately silly people in tight fitting spandex. The films are often a joke. It is amazing how Hollywood could, for example, make a total wimp out of Batman. This film is French, and made by the man who did Vibroboy. This is an example of how films should be made: this is an Auteur-film! Everything in the movie is morally deplorable, and therefore right on the money! Dobermann is not supposed to be sympathetic to begin with! The violence is explicit and highly stylized, but still gripping: the scene where the detective's head is scraped across the road is amazing. What do people expect: this movie is for a hard-boiled audience, and others can check out Disney if they want likeable characters and happy endings. If, on the other hand, you like a movie with balls and one that is not afraid to show sex and violence in the extreme with wonderfully weird characters and a director who knows his business, then you should see this and be amazed, from the opening scene until the final credits. A great film.
Assassin(s) (1997)
Better than many think
This movie was booed in Cannes. Why? Audiences were probably expecting a second La Haine. But thank god Kassovitz did not do a repeat performance. This movie is not so much social commentary as some have approached it, but more a character study of sorts. The three protagonists interaction is quite gripping, the sitcom on TV is the best ever, and the twist in the middle(!) is filmmaking at its finest. Drawbacks aplenty, the ending is obvious, for example, and a bit of cheap shot, but overall this movie is definitely not as bad as many critics thought.