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Reviews
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Disapointing
**SPOILERS** **SPOILERS** Shame. I'd heard a lot about this film, and when I saw it I was almost inevitably disapointed. Reasons why (SPOILERS)? 1) It's just not scary. Sorry but it isn't. Marilyn Burns (Sally) does little apart from talk to her borther and scream a lot, and thats not how I like my heroines. 2) The table scene when Grampa comes out. This is not scary just sick and disturbing with the poor girl just screaming whilst everyone else is mocking her. And quite honestly, the human corpse is just horrible. 3) There is almost no explanation of what is going on. The hitch-hiker and the garage worker were underused. Plus are they family? Workers at the abatoir? Random people? 4) There is little script. Just "I'll look in the house oops I've been murdered" Sally screaming and a chainsaw whiring. 5) Leatherface survives. 6) Leatherface gets played by Dennis Hopper in the sequal. The film has good points however. It is shocking. It does have good effects. Although I bitched about this earlier, it does have a good ending with leatherface whiring his chainsaw furiously.
So it is worth watching. Just don't expect a masterpiece.
American Beauty (1999)
The best film I've seen in a long time. SPOILER
This is one of the best films I've seen in ages. I'd heard good reviews about it, but I went in with average expections. But it is a brilliant film that leaves you compelled right up until the end of the film, when it has you guessing who killed him. Spacey, Benning, Suvari & Birch have rarely been better, and I urge you to go out and discover this flawless gem for yourself. 10/10
Three Kings (1999)
Damn good film (Spoiler)
This film is brilliant. From exploding cows to posing as Saddam Hussein, this is a great hilarious intelligent film. The basic plot is that some American soldiers find a map (in some guys arse) that leads to stolen Iraqi treasure. Hatching a plan to take the money, they then get mixed up in some refugees trying to escape. Although one question - Why is it called 3 kings when there are 4 of them? I know one dies at the end, but he's in it for most of the film???
Father Ted (1995)
Great!!!
This is one of the best comedy shows of the 90's. With Ted, the scheming liar whose zany plots get uncovered each week; Dougal, the poor idiot boy who attempts to grasp theological issues in between games of cluedo; Jack, the drunk and Mrs Doyle, the mad tea lady. Add some bishops, psychotic TV hosts, mad old ladies and Richard Wilson along other visitors to this strange place and you have one top notch TV show.
The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
Mildly Flawed
Shame. A good film, spoiled by some flaws. Like the car jump with the really crap sound effects. And the increasingly annoying JW Pepper. And the wetness of Mary Goodnight. And after all this time of them building up a good character for Bond when he turns out to be a complete and utter bastard, using a kid then chucking him into the river. But there a plus sides. Like the maze chase. And Christoper Lee excels as Scaramonga. And apart from the aforementioned sound effects, which I hope someone got fired for, the car chase. So with flaws, comes a great Bond film. Enjoy.
Space Mutiny (1988)
What a fantastic film!
Wow. This film is great. Great script, acting and casting. Not at all excreable ... no not really. The film is dire with "fantastic" lines such as 'surrender or be blown to astro dust!' Come on guys, surely this is a joke? If you want space, watch the Alien series (apart from Alien3). If you want mutiny, watch Mutiny on the Bounty. But for gods sake, not this.
The Shining (1980)
Great film
Yep this film is brilliant. Not as a direct novelisation but as a standalone film. This is better than the dire TV series, but although Jack Nicholson, Danny Lloyd & Scatman Crothers are brilliant the film is let down by Shelley Duvall who is just too American. But watch this and ignore her.
Nothing to Lose (1997)
Hilarious comedy.
This film is hilarious! While not on a par with Austin Powers, its still is great. The part where Tim Robbins takes Martin Laurance for a ride is great and the spider/lighter part is inspired! Sadly, the film dies out a bit at the end while its not completely crap, it could've been better. Still, watch this.
The Bikini Carwash Company II (1993)
Oh dear.
This film is terrible. It has no redeming features (apart from the girls), the acting is awful and the script is excreble. Avoid this at all costs. It really is that bad, I thought it was a TVM movie. It was probably straight to video, so if you see any copies of it, burn 'em.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
A minor disappointment.
In 1 word, disappointing. In a lot more, something like this. Oh dear. What had potential to become a classic film has turned out to be only a good film. Its not bad, but not a classic. There are some good new characters like Jar-Jar Binks and Darth Maul, but sadly Anakin Skywalker isn't one of them. He's more of an irritant then anything else, shouting YIPPEE every few minutes. And like Yoda, Jaar Jar Binks (good though he is) needs a translator. But these are only minor flaws. The film has some great moments (The Pod Race), some brilliant props (The double-sided light sabre - I want one!) and some downright tacky bits (The Parade). But it is a great film, just not a classic. And what is it what George Lucas, Royalty and large amounts of hair?
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