Mirax Reviews

Eating Out (I) (2004)

Movie-length episode of MTV's "Undressed"

[2/10 · 31 January 2006]

Remember MTV's "Undressed" -- that nightly, shameless bite of over-earnest sexual situation comedy? Everyone was just slightly insecure and prime-time-friendly kinked, and sexual preference made everyone awkward until exactly what they wanted fell into their laps at the end of the episode? Yeah. This is "Undressed, The Movie." The production values are low (in fact, it looks like it was filmed on the same minimalist sets as the show) and there are no points for art, aside from the uncomfortable but amusing first scene, which mimics classic repairman porn that suddenly goes bad, then funny. The actors are each given one adjective (uncomfortable; hot; gay; sexual) and they run with them like an improv comedy troupe without an audience to play off of. The writing leaves them without an ounce of subtlety or realism, but that's okay. The point of the film is not to create truly great characters, aside from oversexed loudmouth Gwen, whose squeak of a voice makes her foul language and unabashed proclivities almost endearing. The point is to create fun new sexual situations, then pretend that sex and love correspond.

Head Over Heels (2001)

Incredibly funny if not taken too seriously

[11 August 2001]

I'll admit it: it's utterly embarrassing to watch this movie with another human being. I was embarrassed when I laughed uncontrollably at things numerous reviews had told me were idiotic humor. Well, this movie is idiotic. It's also adorable romantic comedy, with a funny and somewhat original premise . . . at least, it's cobbled together from original premises, like the "Rear Window" setup where Amanda thinks she witnesses her obsession across the street, Jim, murdering someone. Freddie Prinze Jr is completely irresistible, and Monica Potter's somewhat one-note nice-girl cuteness is made palatable by the insanity of her four supermodel roommates and her practical lesbian friend. Watch this, laugh hard and don't be embarrassed, because this movie, even at its most poorly scripted moments, is earnestly trying to make you laugh, unlike most of today's prefab romantic comedies, whose earnestness is sheer manipulation. Plus, only a small percentage of those have Freddie in them.

Legally Blonde (2001)

Clueless Goes to Grad School

[9/10 · 9 July 2001]

I will be short and sweet on this one (ha, you wish): this movie is very funny, sugary sweet without being cloying, and visually uncomplicated and satisfying. I really enjoyed it. Never far away from the material which first brought us the shallow, yet deeply involved in her shallowness, Beverley Girl ("Clueless"), "Legally Blonde" (awful title, boys) plunks this new Cher, named Elle, into the alien world of Harvard (obviously, except for the first arresting aerial shots of the vaunted institution, filmed in Los Angeles or thereabouts) and follows her through preppie parties and intimidating classes, accompanied by a band of clownish, broadly drawn, and entertaining supporting characters and temporary villains.

A note on acting: Selma Blair is funny without being annoying, a new move in her career which I applaud her for, as Vivian Kensington, legacy bitch of Harvard Law and Elle's competition for the shriveled heart of her former boy toy; Luke Wilson, as well, has managed to not only not annoy me, but has made me fall in love with him as a softhearted associate at the law firm where Elle gets an internship. In many movies (Home Fries, to take a memorable example), Wilson's dimwittedness made you want to slap him. Ironically, here, where he is playing an intelligent lawyer, the doofy act is endearing and not annoying ("Did you just call me a butthead? It's just that I don't think anyone's called me that since, like, 9th grade."). Reese Witherspoon is sweet and that look of sudden enlightenment, which she can maintain throughout a conversation, is priceless. Holland Taylor is underused but perfect, and all the males not branded doofy, and thus acceptable, are perfectly and convincingly slime-coated.

Don't think too hard -- that's what killed this movie for my sister, a bona-fide Harvard student. Just keep remembering Clueless:

Cher: That's Ren and Stimpy! They are way existential.

Josh: Do you have any idea what you're talking about?

Cher: No . . . Why, do I sound like I do?

The Sun Also Rises (1984)

insulting

[2/10 · 24 March 2001]

As TV movies go, this version of "The Sun Also Rises" isn't the worst. However, the liberties taken with Hemingway's work were both unnecessary and destructive. Oh, did I mention the acting is terrible? Jane Seymour, as Brett, tries her very hardest, and it shows, but it's not enough: she's just not talented enough to slog through dialogue this bad and retain a modicum of grace (and let's not talk much about the "period" costumes, OK? Not every woman of the 20's dressed like an Arabian vampire with black turbans, alright?). Hart Bochner, on the other hand, is in every way jarringly unconvincing. He's too young, too matinee-idol-ish, to portray depressed, self-destructive, castrated veteran Jake Barnes. I admit to having missed the beginning, as I saw it on TV - did they cut out the fact that he was wounded that way? Omissions like that, changes to such a well-known work of great literature as "Sun," would seem to be heretical, but once you've heard Hemingway's subtle and sparing dialogue dismissed for more obvious tripe, and the few great, memorable lines from the book - "isn't it pretty to think so?" "Send a woman off with one man . . . and sign the wire 'with love.'" - hopelessly destroyed by Bochner's wooden speech and expressions, nothing will ever seem shocking again. Entire lifelines are altered to further banish subtlety, most shockingly Bill's (didn't love his sitcom acting style either), but also to a small extent Cohn's, Romero's, and even Jake's.

Not a complete waste of time, but if you love the book, then each mistake, omission, alteration, and Bochner-ed line will make you cringe. Just read the novel, and forget this.

Antitrust (2001)

Fantastic true-to-genre flick

[18 January 2001]

a la "The Net" and "Hackers" (Antitrust pilfers liberally from the latter film but it rarely fails to improve upon this borrowed material), Antitrust scrupulously adheres to the rules of the fledgling "computer thriller" genre. fevered typing, quick claustraphobic cuts to approaching, unheeded threats,attractive people, running, homemade resistance and precious few scenes of actual programming activity -- all these elements are gainfully employed in the service of entertainment, along with the beautiful faces of a surprisingly adept cast. Not really ever surprising, this movie is thrilling even through its predictability, and shamelessly manipulative to good effect. Go see it.

Twelfth Night (1996)

Neat, pretty, fun

[27 November 1999]

Unfortunately, modern day theatre people are still subject to

the whims of Shakespeare; a play that could have done very well

less three or four characters (read: Malvolio, Augecheek) is

always mangled because more emphasis ends up on the foolish

exploits of a drunken uncle and a stuck-up servant than on the

love and pain and all that stuff Shakespeare should have stuck

to (because his attempts at comedy fail in my eyes). Fortunately, enter the camera, just in time to rescue Twelfth

Night from itself. By flipping back and forth in that spastic

way films can, the movie managed to put the emphasis back on the

love between brother and sister (which is always lacking in

stage productions) and Viola's relationship with Orceno and

with Olivia. Also, the reworked character of The Fool is fun

(despite Ben Kingsely's mediocre singing voice), and adds the

necessary atmosphere to let you leave the movie humm

The Sure Thing (1985)

A tradition of excellence

[27 November 1999]

This movie is beyond brilliant. I say this not entirely because

John Cusack is my god, but rather because it's true; The Sure

Thing has all the classic elements of an 80's movie (minimal on

the gratuitous nudity) without being worthless fluff. There is

nothing bad to say about this movie, aside from the female

lead's obvious annoyance factor (her boring boyfriend, Jason, is

the funniest construct of modern filmmaking). The dialogue is

hilarious, John's character is witty and fun (ex: "So, I'm good

in school and stuff" he says, and his friend replies, "You're

failing english! That's your mother tongue! And stuff.")

See this movie. Watch it, buy it, love it, trea

Roswell (1999–2002)

Cheezy, of course. But cute.

[10 October 1999]

Sure, the premise is silly- humanoid aliens, surviving the 195?

crash in Roswell, New Mexico, emerge from incubation into the

hippest age bracket of the day. No one ever said this show will

get by on its plot. It will, however, coast on Jason Behr's

(Max's) amazing eyes and his intense gaze. Shiri Appleby (Liz)

will not be the next Katie Holmes, but her earnest smile may be

appealing to some of the more down-to-earth guy watchers (only a

little pun intended. A punlet).

Downsides, of course, include all the other characters. The

fellow aliens are flat, but they've got potential: Isabel, the

aloof, hip one, Michael the spiky-haired, cynical foster child.

The humans are not nearly as interesting: Maria (a note on her

name: It's New Mexico. There is one Native American character.

Where are the hispanic characters? Maria's coloring is

definitely scandanavian) is boring and aggravating, plus her

strange choice of lipstick makes her look frozen and oxygen-starved much of the time; Alex has minimal potential as

an earnest friend; Kyle, Liz's boyfriend, is a puff of vapor;

and the sheriff is just stupid. The more they try to add

dimension to him, the more uninteresting he becomes. Let's call

in the real guns- when the FBI arrives, hopefully the show will

perk up.

'Til then, we have Behr's eyes, and the numerous will-they-kiss

connection moments. I'll

Wish Upon a Star (1996 TV Movie)

blah, blah, blah.

[13 September 1999]

You can't beat Disney for predictability, normally, but this

movie is surprisingly hard to follow, coming in in the middle,

and that is actually to its credit; the shamaltz may be there,

and the end scene of the two sisters gazing lovingly at each

other while they dance with their boy toys is rather disconcerting, an example of misdirected directing and mediocre

acting, but the plot is, if cliched, at least complicated.

Anyway, don't expect too much, and you may find a redeeming

virtue, be it the excuse to gaze at the handsome jock the pretty

sister bags, or the oppurtunity for heckling when the younger

sister's "catch" is suitably ugly and loserly, and so the

heirarchy of high school is maintained. Watch this with your

sister, decide you're glad you're not her, move on with your

li

The Sixth Sense (1999)

A warning.

[10 September 1999]

This is a warning to all of you out there- if you like sleep, do

not see this movie. Oh, the fright won't keep you up- the

graphic imagery is mostly forgettable, even for a wuss like me,

who could not watch beyond the first scene of "Scream" and

didn't sleep much afterward. It's the rest of the imagery, the

faces and the hands, which seem to stick- I plug Tak Fujimoto,

the film's cinematographer, for an Oscar, as well as young Haley

Osment (you should have been Anakin!)- and of course the ending

will leave you a little bit dizzy and force you to look back.

But that forced march backwards through the movie, hunting for

flaws and clues, is what has caused my sleepless nights. Be

warned before you walk in that theatre- it's hard

The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)

Fun but worthless.

[2/10 · 7 September 1999]

A few shallow notes: 1. Pierce Brosnan, Mr. Flexible-As-Wood-Actor, should NEVER EVER

SMILE. 2. Rene Russo should never giggle. 3. The people in charge of the following should be taken out and

shot: makeup (black eyeshadow is NOT SEXY), costume (who were

apparently unable to provide Ms. Russo with a shirt), hair, and

sex scene choreography. The dialogue people may stay as long as

they attend night school for bad screenwriters. It was a crime

wasting Dennis Leary, the ever apoplectic comedian, on such a

comatose, clichéd part. However, the little tricks, mostly applied to the robbery and

reverse-robbery scenes, were wonderful and fun, and some real

art peeked through at times. See it by yourself, as it is

neither the right mood for friends

Teen Angel (1997–1998)

Lame and sorry.

[7 September 1999]

This show was positively terrible, and no one should mourn its

passing. It marked, along with "You Wish!," the end of the

Golden Era of TGIF, ABC's friday night preteen programming. I

hope that no one remotely involved with it ever works in acting

again- the main character should get a hair cut and some therapy

for his nervous twitching, and then get a real job, because he

was annoying to watch. The writers should be taken out and

shot, and that guy from "Coach" who played the grandfather has

REALLY gone over the hill. Did her EVER get a go

Airborne (1993)

Cute, fun, etc etc

[29 August 1999]

I watched this movie on TBS in a motel room in Sedona, Arizona with my 3 siblings. We came in halfway through the movie and afterwards none of us could remember the protagonist's name, so we called him Wally (actually character name: Mitchell. We weren't far off the mark.) We watched it because we recognised the early work of Seth Green, deadpan Buffy character extraordinaire. Today I watched it again- I came in just in time to see the stupid romance scenes, and of course who could forget Wally's profound dream (in which, he claims, a shark, representing his love interest's protective older brother, tells him to get away from a perfect wave. Very intellegent scene, I recommend it hehe)? A few undeniables though- Wally was hot, to a point, Seth green was funnier than he normally is in Buffy, but not as much as he was in Can't Hardly Wait, and the rollerblading scenes were COOL. very cool. watch them. Fast-for

October Sky (1999)

Strangely engaging tale, carried by main and most-developed character, Homer

[5 August 1999]

Strangely affecting and penetrating, if sappy, film adapted from Homer Hickham jr.'s "Rocket Boys", about a group of friends in a coal mining town who, inspired by the Russian satellite Sputnik, started small and build up model rockets which could get them the colege scholarships they could not hope to get for football but which would give them a ticket away from the nightmarishly dead-end mining town of Coalwood. The subplot of workaholic, goodhearted but gruff father and slightly neurotic mother is not as interesting as watching the perfectly innocent, angelic Jake Gyllenhaal take the reality of the coal mines head-on. Wonderful

Tarzan (1999)

Sweet, classic Disney with obvious deficiencies

[7/10 · 5 August 1999]

An obvious hybrid; The Lion King meets Beauty and the Beast, but without the wonderfully singable music. Tarzan's patented upgrading of the traditional vine-swinging is cute, but Minnie Driver doesn't bring enough fire or modern perspective to her voice part, and Rosie O'Donnell is useless in a badly written and ill-fitting role. They should have done what Disney always does- play up the funny sidekicks. Cute movie,