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Reviews
Torrente 2: Misión en Marbella (2001)
Hilarious
Never seen the first Torrente, but if it's as good as this one, I'm there. Santiago Segura is excellent as the overweight, rude, crude and downright nasty detective caught in some elaborate plot in Marbella which doesn't really matter since the movie is a collection of gross gags and outrageous situations... Torrente is one funny man and he's ably supported by a cast of weirdos, including his slow-witted assistant Cuco, a madman obsessed with his pet monkey, a crime boss with a panty fetish, an overweight kid in a wheelchair dreaming of being a detective, and a lot more. One of the funniest films I have ever seen, proving why Segura is a cult icon in Spain. **** out of 4.
American Pie (1999)
If only losing virginity were as easy in real life
This movie was pretty damn funny. I had heard almost everything about it prior to watching it: it was hilarious, raunchy, disgusting, stupid, etc. While some of the jokes were really of the gross kind, it wasn't as bad as I expected.
In the end, I had my laughs and surprisingly more depth than one expects from teen comedies.
The performances were okay all around (even though Jason Biggs' character was so dorky at times it became annoying), special props going to Sean Scott as STIFLER, probably the best thing about this whole movie.
End of Days (1999)
Admit that you're curious...
The sole idea of Schwarzenegger battling the Devil sounds dumb, and this movie reminds you of it at every minute by having downright silly stuff going on... the way Arnie figures out the girl's name is just PREPOSTEROUS! And I won't even mention the physically impossible jump between two moving subway cars.
Still, despite the silly antics, this movie accomplishes its primary goal: entertain. Arnie isn't the world's best actor, but he manages himself nicely here and makes up for Batman & Robin. Gabriel Byrne totally rocks as the Devil and everyone else is window dressing.
Fun and brainless, and the scene where Arnie gets the crap kicked out of him by a dwarfish old lady is an instant classic.
Fallen (1998)
Surprisingly fun low profile movie...
I remember seeing a poster of this at a movie theater and thinking... that looks cool... I made a point to go see this, but it was gone by the next week. So one day my cousin starts raving about how cool the movie is, so we rent it. Great fun. The cast is excellent (except for Donald Sutherland's wasted role - this must be the umpteenth time I've seen him in one of those five-minute-superior-of-something roles), and although the film is not really scary, the plot was excellent. It does seem to drag at times, but it actually managed to hold my attention throughout. And that hilarious ending... definitely not something you see everyday. This film was just fun and Denzel Washington proves what a great actor he is (Hey, people, give the guy a shot and go see his movies, alright?)
Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero (1997)
Should be longer...
I just finished watching and taping SubZero on HBO (the latin version), and, boy, what a great movie. I saw Mr. Freeze as a threatening character for the first time (not counting the comics, where the guy doesn't even think about his wife), and it was great fun. Mask of the Phantasm was way better story-wise, but I'm glad this was made after the horrid Batman & Robin and Batman Forever. Joel Schumacher should be ashamed. What more can I say? I wanted this movie to be longer so characters could be seen more (Bullock and Gordon specially) but the action and top-notch animation more than makes up for it. The Batman Animated Series is just awesome, and now all we need is more movies. Batman Beyond would be cool as a movie.
Starship Troopers (1997)
Enjoyable
I never knew this was adapted from a book. But get real, people, both you and I know that book adaptations generally suck. When a friend told me to watch this, I expected a campy sci-fi flick, then I saw "A Paul Verhoeven film" and remembered the gory (and awesome) Robocop. This movie had bad acting, mindless action, gore, and cool special effects. I got more story than I bargained for, but a little more character development couldn't have hurt, as well as a better cast. The only character I liked was Jake Busey's, cause that guy kicks. And then there was babe Denise Richards (why wasn't she in the shower scene? Damn...) who may be a babe, but she can't act... Overall, this movie was what it pretended to be: FUN. If you try to see past that, you'll get lost.
Almost Heroes (1998)
Why does everyone say it sucks? Movie critics at work again....
I don't understand people. Anyone who's watched Chris Farley movies has to know that they don't particularly excel at being works of art. They are meant to be funny and FUN (for the last time, people, movies are meant to be FUN and nothing else! Does the word "entertainment" mean anything to you?)
Anyhow, I watched this in tandem with Mafia! and thank God... Mafia was funny, but I get so sick of those Jim Abrahams films... this one ruled! I'm glad Farley made this as his final movie, after the horrid Beverly Hills Ninja (now that sucks). And Matthew Perry excels... here he plays a prissy Chandler. He's kinda gay, but the snappy patter is still there. I laughed my ass off, my cousin laughed his ass off, my sister (total Farley fan even though she goes for foreign and Oscar-type cinema) laughed her ass off... this movie was great, period.
Goodbye, Chris Farley. Thanks for making me laugh my ass off so many times. I salute you.
Con Air (1997)
That's a rock...
"Con Air" is great mindless entertainment. Great action, I laughed my ass off, cool effects, and I have never enjoyed that "Sweet Home Alabama" song more. And the cast... Steve Buscemi is just the best, Monica Potter was so darn cute, Nicolas Cage playing a badass cross between Bruce Willis (the heroics and dialogue) and Steven Seagal (he never gets hurt), John Malkovich stealing the show as the psychotic bad guy, Nick Chinlund with that stoned "Yeah...", John Cusack playing unwilling hero (I have to say this now: this guy kicks ass), Dave Chappelle with all those lame jokes, you get the idea. Film purists may balk at this flick, but, hey, it's FUN (something a lot of moviegoers don't look for in movies) and movies are made to entertain. Oh, yeah, one last thing: that fag guy cracked me up so darn bad...