homer34 Reviews

Dementia 13 (1963)

Underwhelming dud

[2/10 · 11 October 2022]

This is an early slasher film in the same vein as Friday the 13th. The story or overlapping stories are kind of banal and uninteresting.

Even at seventy-eight minutes, movie really seems to drag and I did not sense much of this vaunted atmosphere (perhaps due to the obnoxious score). Plot wise it does seem like chunks of story are left out and a couple of subplots end abruptly having served no purpose. That said, maybe it's for the best because any additional footage would have only served to bore us further.

The acting is passable, but only by a small margin, with no strong performances (The best we get is the family doctor who is mediocre).

TLDR -disjointed dull story mediocrely executed.

Strangers on a Train (1951)

Surprisingly terrible

[5/10 · 25 September 2022]

The good

• Robert Walker
• The Premise
• many of the camera shots...way ahead of its time and I can appreciate the skill and craftsmanship that went into them...

The Bad

• All of the other acting, especially Hitchcock's daughter
• The absurdity of the end sequence
• much of the plot is a complete mess:
• - shooting the carnival worker.

• - the Calliope crashing to the ground
• - Guy becoming an accessory after the fact by not disclosing to the police the identity of the killer
• - Guy breaking into the house, gun in hand, just to talk to to the dad
• - Ann deciding to randomly tell Bruno's mom that Bruno is a killer
• - everyone being so nonchalant about Bruno nearly killing a party guest
• - Bruno inserting himself into Guy's life when his whole premise was for them to be strangers.

• - The police not even considering the possibility of a hit man
• the absurdity of the whole thing broke any immersion and tension.

Frosty Returns (1992 TV Movie)

In a word: awful

[1/10 · 28 November 2003]

This is a story about some greedy bad guys who seek to exploit Frosty and ruin his good name with a terrible product and shoddy politics. The worst part is that they succeeded by releasing "Frosty Returns."

An incomplete list of the problems with one reads like: - The "jokes" are weak and just not funny - The songs are dreadfully flat - The animation is cheaply done and poorly drawn - It doesn't even look like Frosty - The bad guy is a corparate type who doesn't care if his product is bad for the environment - c'mon guys, this is a children's special. - Frosty is now fashion-conscious. - There's no Christmas and no Santa.

All this in sequel to an all-time classic. It's sickening.

The Usual Suspects (1995)

Ok

[8/10 · 28 June 2003]

***spoilers ****

You call that a surprise ending?

It was pretty clear almost from the outset. Let's see, of the original 5, only one survives, do you think he might of done it? It doesn't take a rocket scientist.

If that weren't enough, there were so many cues throughout the movie (he gets really mad when he finds out about the survivor screaming his name). There were many others but I won't list them all here.

That said, I think the movie was well-done, and the final scenes well-told with plenty of humor. But I'm truly shocked by how many people didn't see that coming right from the start (and no, I had no idea this movie was supposed to have any kind of surprise ending).

*** end spoilers ****

Vanishing Point (1997 TV Movie)

Excellent

[10/10 · 9 March 2003]

This is definitely an appropriate update for the original, except that "party on the left is now party on the right." Like the original, this movie rails against a federal government which oversteps its bounds with regards to personal liberty. It is a warning of how tenuous our political liberties are in an era of an over-zealous, and over-powerful federal government. Kowalski serves as a metaphor for Waco and Ruby Ridge, where the US government, with the cooperation of the mainstream media, threw around words like "white supremacist" and "right wing extremists as well as trumped-up drug charges to abridge the most fundamental of its' citizens rights, with the willing acquiescence of the general populace. That message is so non-PC, I am stunned that this film could be made - at least not without bringing the Federal government via the IRS down on the makers like they did to Juanita Broderick, Katherine Prudhomme, the Western Journalism Center, and countless others who dared to speak out. "Live Free or Die" is the motto on Jason Priestly's hat as he brilliantly portrays "the voice," and that sums up the dangerous (to some) message of this film.

Justice League of America (1997 TV Movie)

Hilarious

[10/10 · 16 June 2002]

Imagine Billy Crystal and Rob Reiner ("Spinal Tap")doing a superhero film - this is my take on this unaired pilot. Your average comic geek will hate this - there isn't a lot of slam-bang action, the characters are not true to the comic books, and the tone is light. I enjoyed this immensely. There is something very funny about a bunch of ordinary people with "super powers" running around town in spandex, "doing good." This nailed that idea very well. The writers obviously got a lot of mileage (pun intended) of making jokes about the Flash's superpower. I also got a kick out of the sense they gave you of how lame the Atom is as a "super" hero. They synched this with up nicely by giving him somewhat of a feckless alter-ego. Overall, I thought this was hilarious and fun.

The Fantastic Four (1994)

The worst movie I have EVER seen

[1/10 · 27 May 2002]

I've seen some bad movies, but this is unequivocally the worst I've ever seen in my life. The acting was HORRENDOUS, I absolutely HORRENDOUS. Right down to Dr Doom's bad Boris Karloff imitation to Reed Richards' completely wooden performance to Johnny Storm's total "gee-whiz" over-acting -- the jewler belonged in a bad episode of Underdog, where he'd make Riff-Raff and the mad scientist look like Olivier and Brando -- pure Virginia-baked. The special effects were horrible - but given the budget/history, I can give the makers of the film (but not the film itself) a pass on that.

The screenwriting was pitiful - if not for the comic-book mythology, there would have been no story at all- the story that there is is told badly and the script is pure amateur hour. I have two more words for the writers "character development" -- perhaps you've heard of it? Maybe not -- these characters are not even one-dimensional.

This one make those cheesy 70's Captain America movies (w/ Reb Brown) look like Godfather I and II.

To top it off, all this camp value, and the "movie" was still boooooring -- a regular snooze-fest.

To sum it up, awful awful awful awful awful. BY FAR, the worst movie I have ever seen.

Boys Don't Cry (1999)

Freaky

[6/10 · 11 May 2002]

*****SPOILERS****SPOILERS****CONT AINS SPOILERS**********

I am stunned by some of the commentary I've seen on this film. This has to be one of the most violent movies I've ever seen. The rape scene was not "impressive" as I've seen some people comment, it was apalling. The lead character is a convicted felon (grand theft auto) who is also a congenital liar. She lies to her friends, steals and consistently lies to her girlfriend and not just about her gender -- she lies about pretty much everything. Yet, people see this as a love story?!?

Most of the other characters are pretty much scum of the earth too. The two murderers, Lana's mom, is just an alcoholic loser who lets he daughter hang around convicted felons (the two muderers, not just Brandon). Lana doesn't seem to give a crap when her mom is brutally murdered -- and what happened to the kid? He just witnessed two murders and Lana's gonna let him cry all by himself all night?

If you want to see human trash, sexual identity crises, and stupidity glorified, just watch The Jerry Springer Show.