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ErasmicLather
Reviews
Star Trek: The Alternative Factor (1967)
Weird Goatee Beard Changes - Thicker Then Thinner
I love these old STAR TREK episodes but this must be one of the lamest ever. I couldn't figure out what on earth was going on - nor could Kirk and Spock by the sound of them. Spock keeps making strange and frankly incomprehensible statements like "it's possible...very possible." It's either possible or not, make up your mind, Mr Spock.
Meanwhile, a man falls off a cliff, again and again, and is cured by a small plaster, though blood drips from his mouth. The best parts are Kirk's line "I want facts, not poetry!" and the Enterprise crew hanging out in the recreation room smirking at the state of the canteen coffee while the goatee man prowls about looking ragged. Couldn't Bones have loaned him a spare suit at least?
It's still all splendid fun, of course, and I recommend it wholeheartedly over all modern TV programmes.
The Cocoanuts (1929)
Why not a chicken?
Yep, I love those crazy Marx Bros., but I gotta tell you, I tried to show this one to my girlfriend, who is a big twenties nut, and she hated it. She said the only funny Marx was "the one with the horn". When I asked her what she thought of Zeppo, she couldn't even remember having seen him in it (this is not so surprising; I could barely remember that myself). When the split-screen hotel rooms bit came on, she got up out of her chair and announced "I can't stand this any more. THIS IS NOT FUNNY." And she went away. Actually, a lot of this movie ain't funny. But some of it is, for Marx fans. Everybody else in the world will hate it. Well, I never intended to give a speech, and I think you'll agree, I certainly succeeded.
The Walking Dead (1936)
King Karloff
Eerie, creepy, beautifully shot oddity, the kind of stuff they just wouldn't know how to make any more (not that they would want to). Karloff gives a fine performance as the gaunt, haunted patsy in a murder rap. Stand-out scene is definitely the fantastic build up to Karloff's undeserved execution, as sad cello music plays and prison guards banter about baseball while a man's life hangs in the balance. The ideas dry up a bit as King Karloff haunts his killers, but his sinister solemnity captivates the interest, and it's all crammed into little more than an hour.
Billy the Kid Versus Dracula (1966)
Horror Grand-Master slums it in this sloppy sagebrush saga
If you're looking for a good Horror-Western then you've come to the wrong place. However, if you are an afficianado of stiff, stagey, stodgy drive-in material then there is much here to entertain. John Carradine hams it up royally, rolling his eyes and barking his lines like he's a silent film star who's just been told he's got to make the transition to talkies...and he gives it everything he's got as he prowls about the Wild West resplendent in top-hat and cape. His face glows red every time he spots a girl he fancies; he even has a red-duvet on the vampire double bed he keeps in the abandoned silver mine that is his lair, should he get lucky, which seems unlikely seeing as he looks older even than the undeadest undead man. Watch out for B-Western legends Harry Carey Jnr. and Roy Barcroft, enjoy the wholesome sixties-chick heroine, ignore the tired convolusions of the plot, try and forget that the whole thing is entirely devoid of creepy atmosphere. Good fun for cheese fans.
The Brain Eaters (1958)
It's Communist paranoia a go go in this crazy "Reds under the Bed" bonanza!
If you like cheesy sci fi flicks THE BRAIN EATERS will not disappoint. Cheap and tacky, paranoid about thinly-veiled Russki invaders, it still manages moments of genuine excitement and atmosphere. Dig the moment when the loopy zombie grabs for our hero through a garden shed window! Thrill as a creepy man with a long beard in white robes from inside the earth plots his invasion then disappears in a puff of smoke! Gasp as the leading lady provides everyone in sight with endless cups of coffee! Leonard Nimoy's in here somewhere, narrating the plot and (I suspect) lurking behind that white beard!