Out-of-balance no-budget teen film features terrific music set to threadbare non-plot. The movie is little more than a showcase for several early, obscure, but talented acts; all the numbers are above average and quite entertaining. Like Louie Prima's awful "The Continental Twist" which hit drive-in screens four years later, the story involves a group of mobsters who are trying to evict the local teens from a makeshift dance club. In this picture the hoodlums need a hangout to run the connection to the "Detroit Syndicate". Highlight of the action is when the boss makes Crackers Louie dance by the pool. Standout musical numbers include "Roogie Doogie" by Preacher Smith, and "Juanita" by the Five Stars. The cast is divided into "Wheels" and "Squares".
Reviews
11 Reviews
Lord Love a Duck
(1966)
QUACK! Duck Hunting Season Should Have Started Earlier
25 October 2009
Mess of a film that's part comedy, part drama, but mostly mess. Roddy McDowell plays a brilliant but outcast high-school senior who re-enacts, via a verbal memoir, the peculiar circumstances that brought him to his current imprisonment. Roddy plays confidante / genie to fellow teenager and female lead Tuesday Weld, granting her impulsive wishes, and monitoring the peculiar after-effects. A lot of the time he quacks around like a duck, but the irritation doesn't blossom into anything; it just continues to grate on your nerves.
The film doesn't date well. During Weld's scenes hanging out with her father, I'm sure there was more laughing on the screen than in the audience. It seems very unfunny today. Was it ever funny? I'll admit, there are a few amusing sequences: the Hollywood producer standing in the unemployment line, estimating the millions he'll spend on his next picture, for example. But there's not much else. Harvey Korman as the High-school principal looks like he's auditioning for his role in Blazing Saddles.
Hard to believe that George Axelrod, responsible for this stinker, had written The Seven Year Itch and Bus Stop. Lord Love a Duck belongs to the "I think I'm doing something important" school of film-making, leaving it to the pseudo-intellectuals to comment on its symbolism and over-analyze its message. It is unique, I'll give it that. But that's all it is.
The film doesn't date well. During Weld's scenes hanging out with her father, I'm sure there was more laughing on the screen than in the audience. It seems very unfunny today. Was it ever funny? I'll admit, there are a few amusing sequences: the Hollywood producer standing in the unemployment line, estimating the millions he'll spend on his next picture, for example. But there's not much else. Harvey Korman as the High-school principal looks like he's auditioning for his role in Blazing Saddles.
Hard to believe that George Axelrod, responsible for this stinker, had written The Seven Year Itch and Bus Stop. Lord Love a Duck belongs to the "I think I'm doing something important" school of film-making, leaving it to the pseudo-intellectuals to comment on its symbolism and over-analyze its message. It is unique, I'll give it that. But that's all it is.
Living Venus
(1961)
Harvey and Herschell: A Team That Can Be Beat
18 May 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I have to admit, this review is based on the 36 minute clip (about half) of "Living Venus" now showing in the Something Weird section of Comcast / On Demand. I can't give you the presumably missing juicy details, but what I can tell you is that it's not too bad; acting is decent and the story is OK. This is a curio I wanted to see as much for Harvey Corman (his first film) as for H. G. Lewis (pre-gornography). Kerwin stars as a magazine editor a la Hugh Hefner who launches a monthly stag rag called "Pagan". He discovers "living Venus" D'Hondt in a restaurant and recruits Korman to snap the cheesecake photos. They both pursue D'Hondt, but Kerwin succeeds, and he quickly pimps D'Hondt out to enlist advertisers. Ending is predictable. Korman worked better with Tim Conway.
T-Bird Gang
(1959)
Not Bad "B" -- Even With Coleman Francis!
21 September 2008
In a film which features Coleman Francis ("Red Zone Cuba" and "The Beast of Yucca Flats"), I wasn't expecting much. But this little movie really moves. About an hour in length, the film is cut well, and given obvious limited budget, surprisingly succeeds. I like the way they left some of the obvious character clichés at the door. Ed Nelson is a bit over the top, but quite effective in his portrayal as a gang leader who plays chess and listens to classical music. And Raymond, the henchman, isn't glaringly sadistic. The story may be predictable, but the execution is good, and the characterization was refreshing. After ten minutes, I was hooked! Vic Tayback in a cameo just adds to the fun!
Test Tube Babies
(1948)
I Vote for the Public Awareness Angle
24 March 2008
Are the producers championing a noble cause to create public awareness for artificial insemination, or are they simply abusing the medical angle to display non-relevant T&A? The answer is "B". Test Tube Babies is about a young couple who can't have kids and explore scientific methods for fertilization. Rather dull in the first and last thirds of the film, but the Swingers Party is awesome, providing tips for even the jaded MTV generation. And for those in the process of preparing an otherwise dull medical presentation, this film will demonstrate how the addition of gratuitous nudity, strip-teases, and cat-fighting will keep your audience tuned-in. A young Timothy Farrell (pre-Umberto Scalli) appears as the doctor.
Secrets of Beauty
(1951)
I Feel Pretty -- thanks to Ern Westmore!
2 February 2008
I have to admit, "Why Men Leave Home" (aka "The Secrets of Beauty") inspired a new look for me; I have taken Ern Westmore's tips (I'm an oval face) and discovered a lovelier, more confident Lang Jr.. Ern says he can make any woman look more beautiful -- I'm here to say it does the same for men as well. Hats off to Ern!
This run-of-the-mill husband-leaves-home film invokes naps, but has its moments. The "Fat Twins" from Arkansas sing like the Andrews Sisters, but take up more space. Ginger Prince's solo -- The Big Parade -- is fortunately short and unintelligible. Kroger Babb -- the man himself -- makes an appearance as a Hollywood producer. Ern Westmore could have a field day with Krog (a round face). Best part is the introduction at the convention, where the MC announces that Ern Westmore has worked at "Paramount, 20th Century Fox and...Hallmark Films," (Krog's vast cinema empire). Look for Krog's un-subtle pitch for his boozy classic "One Too Many" in Uncle Marty's office. Also, a lady does sit-ups wearing an evening dress.
Krog had success palming off his $1.00 "sex hygiene" manuals during roadshows for "Mom and Dad", but couldn't peddle too many $10.00 make-up kits with this dud. He would never "make-up" his earlier success.
This run-of-the-mill husband-leaves-home film invokes naps, but has its moments. The "Fat Twins" from Arkansas sing like the Andrews Sisters, but take up more space. Ginger Prince's solo -- The Big Parade -- is fortunately short and unintelligible. Kroger Babb -- the man himself -- makes an appearance as a Hollywood producer. Ern Westmore could have a field day with Krog (a round face). Best part is the introduction at the convention, where the MC announces that Ern Westmore has worked at "Paramount, 20th Century Fox and...Hallmark Films," (Krog's vast cinema empire). Look for Krog's un-subtle pitch for his boozy classic "One Too Many" in Uncle Marty's office. Also, a lady does sit-ups wearing an evening dress.
Krog had success palming off his $1.00 "sex hygiene" manuals during roadshows for "Mom and Dad", but couldn't peddle too many $10.00 make-up kits with this dud. He would never "make-up" his earlier success.
Sin Magazine
(1965)
Low-budget Bergman works better than Nyquil
3 May 2006
Three brothers run an adult magazine. The eldest is showing signs of mental strain. He walks around Central Park smoking cigarettes. The middle brother is married to a free-spirit European nymph who flirts with both the oldest and youngest brothers (the youngest is a horny photographer). The oldest brother develops an abnormal attachment to the girl, and that's when the breakdown begins.
Even as mid-sixties adult films go, "Sin Magazine" offers little nudity (most of it photographs of photographs). The acting is adequate, but who cares? There's an eight-minute Point-of-view shot where the middle brother seduces a female magazine distributor who works out of a closet. Only for Al Mitchel aficionados.
Even as mid-sixties adult films go, "Sin Magazine" offers little nudity (most of it photographs of photographs). The acting is adequate, but who cares? There's an eight-minute Point-of-view shot where the middle brother seduces a female magazine distributor who works out of a closet. Only for Al Mitchel aficionados.
The Sin Syndicate
(1965)
Striptease Routines and Stock Footage: A Masterpiece
28 April 2006
Interesting curiosity as this is the first credited work in Michael Findlay's oeuvre. Findlay sandwiched some rather dull striptease routines between into stock footage of the Cuban communist revolution and World War II and made a picture out of it. The film tells the stories of four party girls ("Zero girls, because we aren't worth anything") and how they stumbled into their occupation.
Production values as they were, you'll need to use your imagination to match the dubbing with the dialog shown on the screen. The Findlay touch (or should I say "slap") is displayed during a rape scene in a truck (that "Slats", you can't take him anywhere!). Also riveting is the congressional hearing that appears to take place in a funeral parlor. In another scene, a party gets raided because some aging stripper doing a belly-dance puts the party-goer's to sleep. There's also a shower scene with two girls ("Do you think we're...lesbians?"). Slow going, if you can make it to the end.
Production values as they were, you'll need to use your imagination to match the dubbing with the dialog shown on the screen. The Findlay touch (or should I say "slap") is displayed during a rape scene in a truck (that "Slats", you can't take him anywhere!). Also riveting is the congressional hearing that appears to take place in a funeral parlor. In another scene, a party gets raided because some aging stripper doing a belly-dance puts the party-goer's to sleep. There's also a shower scene with two girls ("Do you think we're...lesbians?"). Slow going, if you can make it to the end.
A Dog's Life
(1962)
Shockumentary Packs a Mild Slap
20 November 2005
Perhaps not as bizarre or shocking as its successors, Mondo Cane is still a bit unsettling, and -- if it doesn't pack a wallop -- it at least delivers a mild slap. The biggest surprise to me, however, was the photography, which is vivid, colorful and exceptionally framed. Except for the occasional accidental reflection of the camera in a window or the shadow of the camera seen in the shot, I couldn't help but be impressed by the quality of the cinematography throughout the picture. I also found the narrative clever and engaging. If you can stomach the occasionally unpleasant content (animal lovers beware) I would recommend this film, not only for its content, but as an interesting artifact of what society considered shocking back in the early sixties.
Atomic Twister
(2002 TV Movie)
This Picture will Rekindle Your Interest in Bad Cinema
10 June 2002
Warning: Spoilers
Contains Spoiler The trendy glorification of bad films peaked after the release of "Ed Wood", Tim Burton's homage to the America's most incompetent filmmaker. With the exception of "Independence Day" there hasn't been a movie bad enough to continue to fuel interest in the fad; that is, until the release of this disaster. "Atomic Twister" contains all the ingredients that make crummy film so entertaining, and reminds us why we were attracted to "Plan 9" in the first place. Let's review the requirements.
First, bad cinema needs improbability, and `Atomic Twister' has that in spades. Not one, but TWO tornadoes are required to knock-off the woefully understaffed and thankfully fictional Helmet-Klein nuclear power plant in western Tennessee. The subsequent decisions made by the plant supervisor are predictably idiotic so that the action is, unfortunately, sustained.
Second, bad cinema requires Corbin Bernsen, so he is in this picture. I didn't recognize the other actors, except for the kid with the funny name that used to be in `Saved By the Bell'. This film may have been marginally better had they given the role to Screech.
Third, bad cinema requires bad dialogue. It'd be too much work to isolate every gem, but it's impossible to forget the line ` and Stu died,' delivered so nonchalantly by Sharon Lawrence that probably nobody did care about the poor guy.
It's ironic that WTBS, like the twisters in the movie, `struck twice' by showing the film back-to-back for it's premiere. If you didn't catch the good stuff the first time around, you didn't have to wait long for the make-up exam. This picture gives tornadoes a black eye.
First, bad cinema needs improbability, and `Atomic Twister' has that in spades. Not one, but TWO tornadoes are required to knock-off the woefully understaffed and thankfully fictional Helmet-Klein nuclear power plant in western Tennessee. The subsequent decisions made by the plant supervisor are predictably idiotic so that the action is, unfortunately, sustained.
Second, bad cinema requires Corbin Bernsen, so he is in this picture. I didn't recognize the other actors, except for the kid with the funny name that used to be in `Saved By the Bell'. This film may have been marginally better had they given the role to Screech.
Third, bad cinema requires bad dialogue. It'd be too much work to isolate every gem, but it's impossible to forget the line ` and Stu died,' delivered so nonchalantly by Sharon Lawrence that probably nobody did care about the poor guy.
It's ironic that WTBS, like the twisters in the movie, `struck twice' by showing the film back-to-back for it's premiere. If you didn't catch the good stuff the first time around, you didn't have to wait long for the make-up exam. This picture gives tornadoes a black eye.
Don't Knock the Twist
(1962)
T.V. Exec Uses Mashed Potato to Stomp Out the Competition.
26 September 1999
Ted Haver (Lang Jeffries) is a harried TV exec who must orchestrate an epic "Twist Spectacular" to beat the competing broadcast network. Lang recruits Chubby Checker and other "top talent" like the Linda Scott. He also discovers -- via a Peeping Tom session -- neighborhood "teen" Madge and her "brother" doing the wildest Twist steps, and he convinces her to be in the show ("I'll do it for the Orphans!") Lang's gal pal, Dulcey Corbin, gets jealous of Madge and uses her latest "Twist" fashions to stir up controversy. Film Highlight: Nightclub revelers demonstrate piety during Vic Dana's somber rendition of "Little Altar Boy".
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