I really loved this film. You can't beat a movie like this, with the dripping campy delivery by Rhoda. Great stuff. I watched this shortly after the AFI Heroes & Villains list came out, and was surprised to see that not only was Rhoda not in the top 50 Villains list, but she wasn't even on the nominating form. Too bad because this a film where you really end up hating the antagonist and are hoping that someone really clobbers her! That's what makes a great villain. (Incidentally, my wife and I watched this shortly after we found out she's pregnant. Wish us luck!)
Reviews
22 Reviews
Simon Birch
(1998)
A little film that reaches great heights
26 July 2000
You gotta love a film who's main character tells just about every person he meets that he's a hero and God has a plan for him. Simon isn't bragging when he does this, he's just telling people what he knows to be true.
It's that and its subtle humor makes "Simon Birch" such an enjoyable film. This is a simple story of a boy finding his long-unknown father, but it's wrapped in questions of God and how He works. And these questions are all brought up by a Forrest Gump-type of character who has a wisdom far beyond his ability.
Most of the film's charm is from Ian Michael Smith, who plays Simon, and the way he delivers his wisdom. Instead of a questioning tone, he acts like he's known for a long time and just felt like reminding you.
Smith is supported by his co-star, Joseph Mezzello, who helps keep the film from focusing too much on the cuteness of Smith as he spouts off about God and the human condition. Instead, Mezzello brings a youthfulness that offsets Simon's maturity.
The movie's atmosphere also adds to its success. "Simon Birch" drags you back in time to an America where life was about the baseball game, church, riding bikes, swimming and getting in trouble.
It's all this: Good actors, a time long gone and an enjoyable and thoughtful script that make "Simon" something special. So try him out, he fits any occasion. ... Oh yeah, it's also nice to see a movie set in Maine that doesn't involve Stephen King -- but I'm sure he would've liked have been the guy who wrote this great story.
7/26/00
It's that and its subtle humor makes "Simon Birch" such an enjoyable film. This is a simple story of a boy finding his long-unknown father, but it's wrapped in questions of God and how He works. And these questions are all brought up by a Forrest Gump-type of character who has a wisdom far beyond his ability.
Most of the film's charm is from Ian Michael Smith, who plays Simon, and the way he delivers his wisdom. Instead of a questioning tone, he acts like he's known for a long time and just felt like reminding you.
Smith is supported by his co-star, Joseph Mezzello, who helps keep the film from focusing too much on the cuteness of Smith as he spouts off about God and the human condition. Instead, Mezzello brings a youthfulness that offsets Simon's maturity.
The movie's atmosphere also adds to its success. "Simon Birch" drags you back in time to an America where life was about the baseball game, church, riding bikes, swimming and getting in trouble.
It's all this: Good actors, a time long gone and an enjoyable and thoughtful script that make "Simon" something special. So try him out, he fits any occasion. ... Oh yeah, it's also nice to see a movie set in Maine that doesn't involve Stephen King -- but I'm sure he would've liked have been the guy who wrote this great story.
7/26/00
Suicide Kings
(1997)
If only these 'Kings' offed themselves!
20 July 2000
"Suicide Kings" is really trying to be "The Usual Suspects." Really, really trying.
The problem is that it's really, really bad. It's God awful as a matter of fact.
Instead of being a clever, suspenseful movie full of interesting characters, it's a boring, uninteresting film with indistinguishable characters. It also tried to have a surprise twist ending, and I must say the filmmakers did deliver on that. Well, they kinda did. It was a surprise and a twist, but it certainly wasn't clever. It was just plain stupid.
The cast, which includes one-time stars Sean Patrick Flannery and Henry Thomas, stalled-stars Jay Mohr and Jeremy Sisto and I'll-make-any-film-for-money stars Christopher Walken and Denis Leary, are all wasted with terrible, uninspired dialogue.
"Suicide Kings'" younger stars, who could've brought a lot of neat depth to the film, only offer whiney characters that just don't go anywhere or give you anything to be sympathetic to.
I really wish the film were better. As a viewer, I kept giving the film more brains than it had. Some of my erroneous thoughts about what could have happened, but didn't ... They didn't really cut off Walken's finger, they drugged him and told him it was (they would've shown him a cadaver's finger)... At the end, Denis Leary tries to take over the mob by shooting Walken, so he can ascend in the ranks ... Ira somehow being involved, and just playing dumb ...
Ah! Enough of that, just take my word for it, this film isn't worth seeing. You have my word.
7/20/99
The problem is that it's really, really bad. It's God awful as a matter of fact.
Instead of being a clever, suspenseful movie full of interesting characters, it's a boring, uninteresting film with indistinguishable characters. It also tried to have a surprise twist ending, and I must say the filmmakers did deliver on that. Well, they kinda did. It was a surprise and a twist, but it certainly wasn't clever. It was just plain stupid.
The cast, which includes one-time stars Sean Patrick Flannery and Henry Thomas, stalled-stars Jay Mohr and Jeremy Sisto and I'll-make-any-film-for-money stars Christopher Walken and Denis Leary, are all wasted with terrible, uninspired dialogue.
"Suicide Kings'" younger stars, who could've brought a lot of neat depth to the film, only offer whiney characters that just don't go anywhere or give you anything to be sympathetic to.
I really wish the film were better. As a viewer, I kept giving the film more brains than it had. Some of my erroneous thoughts about what could have happened, but didn't ... They didn't really cut off Walken's finger, they drugged him and told him it was (they would've shown him a cadaver's finger)... At the end, Denis Leary tries to take over the mob by shooting Walken, so he can ascend in the ranks ... Ira somehow being involved, and just playing dumb ...
Ah! Enough of that, just take my word for it, this film isn't worth seeing. You have my word.
7/20/99
Dead Man on Campus
(1998)
A "word of mouth" winner
15 July 2000
I had the fortune of seeing this opening night to an absolutely packed crowd back in 1998 and this movie had the audience roaring.
Lochlyn Munro, who plays the psychotic Cliff, provided the most laughs for me and everyone else. His whacko character will stick with you for a while after you see "Dead Man on Campus."
Now that it's 2 years after the film's initial release, I find that a lot of my friends haven't seen it, so I frequently have to loan it out or force them to watch it with me. Most are immediately sold on "Dead Man" by the clever opening credits and it only gets better after that!
The cast of "Dead Man" was a great surprise, too. Mark-Paul Gosselaar takes off the goody-two shoes of "Saved by the Bell's" Zack and tackles Cooper, a twisted version of his old role. Tom Everett Scott, who's quickly becoming a really fantastic actor, was equally amazing in his role as the "goofy-but-cute" roommate. Despite Gosselaar's great lines and even better delivery, Scott held his own.
Besides the two main leads, I have to mention Poppy Montgomery and Alyson Hannigan. Montgomery plays Scott's love interest and I can't wait to see her in more films. She has a great mature-ness about her that just plays really well. Hannigan is just so sweet in her role as the ditzy Lucy. She's a familiar face in teen movies that many viewers need to know about.
So what's wrong with "Dead Man"? Not much really. It has a little trouble with the seriousness of its premise, especially when someone does actually try to kill himself. Those scenes were tough to sit through, because you've been laughing for an hour about Cooper and Josh trying to kill of someone. When it actually happens, you're smacked with how wrong their idea was.
The other thing is that Cliff's sequence probably should've been rewritten to be at the end of the film. It would've built up to a better climax.
Despite those problems, I was really surprised this film didn't reach "There's Something About Mary" status. It had all the right things working for it, none of which I'll spoil for you. Maybe if it had "From the directors of 'Dumb & Dumber'" tagline, it would've done better.
The neat thing is that if you look at the "Box Office & Business" link on the side of this review, you'll see that it actually got more and more business week after week. That means it got a lot of "word of mouth" traffic.
Maybe you should take the advice. Rent "Dead Man on Campus".
7/15/00
Lochlyn Munro, who plays the psychotic Cliff, provided the most laughs for me and everyone else. His whacko character will stick with you for a while after you see "Dead Man on Campus."
Now that it's 2 years after the film's initial release, I find that a lot of my friends haven't seen it, so I frequently have to loan it out or force them to watch it with me. Most are immediately sold on "Dead Man" by the clever opening credits and it only gets better after that!
The cast of "Dead Man" was a great surprise, too. Mark-Paul Gosselaar takes off the goody-two shoes of "Saved by the Bell's" Zack and tackles Cooper, a twisted version of his old role. Tom Everett Scott, who's quickly becoming a really fantastic actor, was equally amazing in his role as the "goofy-but-cute" roommate. Despite Gosselaar's great lines and even better delivery, Scott held his own.
Besides the two main leads, I have to mention Poppy Montgomery and Alyson Hannigan. Montgomery plays Scott's love interest and I can't wait to see her in more films. She has a great mature-ness about her that just plays really well. Hannigan is just so sweet in her role as the ditzy Lucy. She's a familiar face in teen movies that many viewers need to know about.
So what's wrong with "Dead Man"? Not much really. It has a little trouble with the seriousness of its premise, especially when someone does actually try to kill himself. Those scenes were tough to sit through, because you've been laughing for an hour about Cooper and Josh trying to kill of someone. When it actually happens, you're smacked with how wrong their idea was.
The other thing is that Cliff's sequence probably should've been rewritten to be at the end of the film. It would've built up to a better climax.
Despite those problems, I was really surprised this film didn't reach "There's Something About Mary" status. It had all the right things working for it, none of which I'll spoil for you. Maybe if it had "From the directors of 'Dumb & Dumber'" tagline, it would've done better.
The neat thing is that if you look at the "Box Office & Business" link on the side of this review, you'll see that it actually got more and more business week after week. That means it got a lot of "word of mouth" traffic.
Maybe you should take the advice. Rent "Dead Man on Campus".
7/15/00
The Girl from Jones Beach
(1949)
Gently sexist film with ramifications today
8 July 2000
This film was a pleasant diversion one afternoon that I only watched cuz it had Ronald Reagan in it. Hey, he was president after all!
The film was actually pretty boring with no real laughs in it, but it did get me thinking.
First off, I it was kind of sexist, cuz it's about a photographer who has to put together the "perfect girl" with the photographed body parts of several other girls. Apparently photo manipulation was really, really easy before computers, because this "girl" became an immediate pin-up hit. I guess people of the 40s can overlook the varying skin-tones or the Frankenstein-like super-imposing lines that would've appeared between the "sexy" body parts. But hey, it's a comedy, anything goes!
Anyway, as "the girl" becomes more of a hit, Ronnie and his cohort have to dodge the constant barrage of attention from the original 12 models because they want to be just like "the girl." That's what makes the movie so sexist, these girls try to be something they can't be -- perfect.
It's not a terribly good message, although as a comedy it works well enough and doesn't have the sinister aspects it could have.
It would be interesting to see a remake. It's just as relevant today, thanks to the Internet/computer photo manipulation aspect. And we could even see a little screwball comedy, which the original didn't have, as all the models try to latch on to the photographer who becomes "hot" thanks to photo manipulations that they helped to create.
Or the remake could be a horror film. Now that would be really sinister.
7/9/00
The film was actually pretty boring with no real laughs in it, but it did get me thinking.
First off, I it was kind of sexist, cuz it's about a photographer who has to put together the "perfect girl" with the photographed body parts of several other girls. Apparently photo manipulation was really, really easy before computers, because this "girl" became an immediate pin-up hit. I guess people of the 40s can overlook the varying skin-tones or the Frankenstein-like super-imposing lines that would've appeared between the "sexy" body parts. But hey, it's a comedy, anything goes!
Anyway, as "the girl" becomes more of a hit, Ronnie and his cohort have to dodge the constant barrage of attention from the original 12 models because they want to be just like "the girl." That's what makes the movie so sexist, these girls try to be something they can't be -- perfect.
It's not a terribly good message, although as a comedy it works well enough and doesn't have the sinister aspects it could have.
It would be interesting to see a remake. It's just as relevant today, thanks to the Internet/computer photo manipulation aspect. And we could even see a little screwball comedy, which the original didn't have, as all the models try to latch on to the photographer who becomes "hot" thanks to photo manipulations that they helped to create.
Or the remake could be a horror film. Now that would be really sinister.
7/9/00
Gone in 60 Seconds
(2000)
The film's so bad, I don't have a funny headline for it
24 June 2000
"Gone in Sixty Seconds" has Nicolas Cage in it, but it doesn't have Nicolas Cage ACTING in it.
Instead, he just sits in cars. Makes out with Angelina Jolie. Eats a few times. Waves his hands. Talks a little bit. ...that's about it.
Besides that, it has a really laughable, unsurprising plot with about as many twists as an unbaked piece of spaghetti pasta. Where are the surprises? Where are the troublesome sticking-points? Okay, the thieves did run into some minor trouble, but even I could've figured out what to do!
But seriously, the thing that most bothered me about the film is how much peril "Gone in Sixty Seconds" puts the police in. During the ending chase scene, there were four or five crashes that just left me wincing. Nicolas Cage's character was in a heart-stopping chase where he was pursued by a half-dozen cop cars. Cage kept causing the cops to get into these horrendous wrecks and I just couldn't stand it. So why did it leave me so unsettled? Because it's tough to hate cops who aren't portrayed as racist jerk-offs. The cops in "Gone" weren't that at all, they were just like normal people and I don't like normal people getting in devastating car wrecks caused by a "hero." It's just despicable.
6/24/00
Instead, he just sits in cars. Makes out with Angelina Jolie. Eats a few times. Waves his hands. Talks a little bit. ...that's about it.
Besides that, it has a really laughable, unsurprising plot with about as many twists as an unbaked piece of spaghetti pasta. Where are the surprises? Where are the troublesome sticking-points? Okay, the thieves did run into some minor trouble, but even I could've figured out what to do!
But seriously, the thing that most bothered me about the film is how much peril "Gone in Sixty Seconds" puts the police in. During the ending chase scene, there were four or five crashes that just left me wincing. Nicolas Cage's character was in a heart-stopping chase where he was pursued by a half-dozen cop cars. Cage kept causing the cops to get into these horrendous wrecks and I just couldn't stand it. So why did it leave me so unsettled? Because it's tough to hate cops who aren't portrayed as racist jerk-offs. The cops in "Gone" weren't that at all, they were just like normal people and I don't like normal people getting in devastating car wrecks caused by a "hero." It's just despicable.
6/24/00
Gone in 60 Seconds
(2000)
It's so dumb, I can't come up with a clever headline
24 June 2000
"Gone in Sixty Seconds" has Nicolas Cage in it, but it doesn't have Nicolas Cage ACTING in it.
Instead, he just sits in cars. Makes out with Angelina Jolie. Eats a few times. Waves his hands. Talks a little bit. ...that's about it.
Besides that, it has a really laughable, unsurprising plot with about as many twists as an unbaked piece of spaghetti pasta. Where are the surprises? Where are the troublesome sticking-points. Okay, the thieves did run into some minor trouble, but even I, a fat, slow-thinking baboon clone, could've solved problems like he encountered!
But seriously, the thing that most bothered me about the film is how much peril "Gone in Sixty Seconds" puts the police in. During the ending chase scene, there were four or five crashes that just left me wincing. Nicolas Cage's character was in a heart-stopping chase where he was pursued by a half-dozen cop cars. Cage kept causing the cops to get into these horrendous wrecks and I just couldn't stand it. So why did it leave me so unsettled? Because it's tough to hate cops who aren't portrayed as racist jerk-offs. The cops in "Gone" weren't that at all, they were just like normal people and I don't like normal people getting in devastating car wrecks caused by a "hero." It's just despicable.
6/24/00
Instead, he just sits in cars. Makes out with Angelina Jolie. Eats a few times. Waves his hands. Talks a little bit. ...that's about it.
Besides that, it has a really laughable, unsurprising plot with about as many twists as an unbaked piece of spaghetti pasta. Where are the surprises? Where are the troublesome sticking-points. Okay, the thieves did run into some minor trouble, but even I, a fat, slow-thinking baboon clone, could've solved problems like he encountered!
But seriously, the thing that most bothered me about the film is how much peril "Gone in Sixty Seconds" puts the police in. During the ending chase scene, there were four or five crashes that just left me wincing. Nicolas Cage's character was in a heart-stopping chase where he was pursued by a half-dozen cop cars. Cage kept causing the cops to get into these horrendous wrecks and I just couldn't stand it. So why did it leave me so unsettled? Because it's tough to hate cops who aren't portrayed as racist jerk-offs. The cops in "Gone" weren't that at all, they were just like normal people and I don't like normal people getting in devastating car wrecks caused by a "hero." It's just despicable.
6/24/00
The Town That Dreaded Sundown -- THE MUSICAL!
8 June 2000
My wife and I rented this one after she remembered how much her father loved it. She said it used to scare the Ba-Jesus out of him when he was a young man.
So, we watched it. "Town" wasn't what I expected. It's kind of a docudrama that really doesn't have much drama in it. However, it does have lots of police cars in it and they're dramatic -- aren't they?
Anyway, the story, which is supposedly true, unfolded with all the tension of a pancake. The director just trudged along ... "And then they did this... and then they did this." He didn't approach "Town" with a thought of how he could build up the suspense. It just languished in a feeling of promised panic it failed to deliver.
As a slasher flick, there was the trombone death. Odd. Very odd. By far though, the best was Dawn "Mary Ann" Wells' death. That was the only really great scene in the whole movie.
Beyond the occasional killing and in between the baritone newscast narration, was another oddity. There was this deputy sheriff who was supposedly in "Town" for comic relief. He would smash his car into things and just act goofy. This just left me with a furrowed brow, as I thought to myself, "Why is this Jerry Lewis-wannabe in this film?" Other reviewers stated the same thing too. He was just completely out of place and completely unfunny.
It was this deputy's antics that got me really thinking. This movie doesn't work as a horror film. It doesn't work as a drama, but what if it were ... A MUSICAL! Just think ... chorus lines, big production numbers involving trombone-induced murders, a snappy rhythm and a goofy deputy! It works, man! It works!
6/8/00
So, we watched it. "Town" wasn't what I expected. It's kind of a docudrama that really doesn't have much drama in it. However, it does have lots of police cars in it and they're dramatic -- aren't they?
Anyway, the story, which is supposedly true, unfolded with all the tension of a pancake. The director just trudged along ... "And then they did this... and then they did this." He didn't approach "Town" with a thought of how he could build up the suspense. It just languished in a feeling of promised panic it failed to deliver.
As a slasher flick, there was the trombone death. Odd. Very odd. By far though, the best was Dawn "Mary Ann" Wells' death. That was the only really great scene in the whole movie.
Beyond the occasional killing and in between the baritone newscast narration, was another oddity. There was this deputy sheriff who was supposedly in "Town" for comic relief. He would smash his car into things and just act goofy. This just left me with a furrowed brow, as I thought to myself, "Why is this Jerry Lewis-wannabe in this film?" Other reviewers stated the same thing too. He was just completely out of place and completely unfunny.
It was this deputy's antics that got me really thinking. This movie doesn't work as a horror film. It doesn't work as a drama, but what if it were ... A MUSICAL! Just think ... chorus lines, big production numbers involving trombone-induced murders, a snappy rhythm and a goofy deputy! It works, man! It works!
6/8/00
Dungeons & Dragons
(1983–1985)
D&D cartoon is back on the air!
3 June 2000
First off, for all you fanatics out there, the D&D cartoon is on the air, at least for the summer of 2000. It's on every Saturday on Fox at 11 a.m.! By the way, this is a national thing, not just some syndicated local station.
Why is it back on the air? I'd bet it's cuz of the Harry Potter mania going around and Fox (Who has a toon deal with Saban, who in turn owns the D&D cartoon, G.I. Joe and Transformers). Check out foxkids.com for more details.
Regarding my Harry Potter theory, all the advertisements feature Presto, the magician of the group, so that's why I'm betting it's their way to cash in on the hero of the English kids books.
Anyway, they've run two episodes as far as I can tell and they were "The Illusionist" and "The Day of the Dungeon Master." Both surprised me at how fast-paced the stories were, giving little time for establishing shots or explanatory information.
"The Illusionist" was the worst of the two, a story about Presto rescuing a girl from Venger's clutches. "The Day of the Dungeon Master" centered around Eric and how he inherited the Dungeon Master's powers for a day. "Day" was very entertaining, mostly because it was so character driven.
Regarding animation, it isn't as good as I remember it, but still passable when you look at "Pokemon" and "NASCAR racers." I would say it's just one step below "G.I. Joe" quality.
Don Most, the actor from "Happy Days", is by far the best voice actor and really carries the rest of the cast. But Willie Ames, Peter Cullen and whoever does the Dungeon Master are right on the mark.
Remembering my love for the series, I must say it's cool to see it again, because I so rarely saw it during it's original run. Why? Cuz they always preempted it for sports or decade-old repeats of "Land of the Lost."
But you know what disappoints me most? With nearly 15 years of better technology and computer generated effects at their disposal, they couldn't kill that damn unicorn!
Why is it back on the air? I'd bet it's cuz of the Harry Potter mania going around and Fox (Who has a toon deal with Saban, who in turn owns the D&D cartoon, G.I. Joe and Transformers). Check out foxkids.com for more details.
Regarding my Harry Potter theory, all the advertisements feature Presto, the magician of the group, so that's why I'm betting it's their way to cash in on the hero of the English kids books.
Anyway, they've run two episodes as far as I can tell and they were "The Illusionist" and "The Day of the Dungeon Master." Both surprised me at how fast-paced the stories were, giving little time for establishing shots or explanatory information.
"The Illusionist" was the worst of the two, a story about Presto rescuing a girl from Venger's clutches. "The Day of the Dungeon Master" centered around Eric and how he inherited the Dungeon Master's powers for a day. "Day" was very entertaining, mostly because it was so character driven.
Regarding animation, it isn't as good as I remember it, but still passable when you look at "Pokemon" and "NASCAR racers." I would say it's just one step below "G.I. Joe" quality.
Don Most, the actor from "Happy Days", is by far the best voice actor and really carries the rest of the cast. But Willie Ames, Peter Cullen and whoever does the Dungeon Master are right on the mark.
Remembering my love for the series, I must say it's cool to see it again, because I so rarely saw it during it's original run. Why? Cuz they always preempted it for sports or decade-old repeats of "Land of the Lost."
But you know what disappoints me most? With nearly 15 years of better technology and computer generated effects at their disposal, they couldn't kill that damn unicorn!
Frequency
(2000)
"My dishwasher is messing up the time-space continuum!"
25 May 2000
While I liked the premise of this flick (Man talks to father in the past), I thought it was kind of silly on how it it was executed. A ham radio as a time machine? Even the oh so brief "We must be talkin' off one killer sunspot" explaination didn't satisfy me. I can see the sequel "My washer-dryer is messing up the time-space continuum!"
Besides the silly premise, I wasn't totally taken by the whole serial killer scenario. I pretty much guessed that the "Nightengale" would go after the mother. Other "twists" were pretty obvious too (Quaid getting implicated in the murders).
I was especially irked by Quaid's really annoying accent. I don't think it was very accurate, and kind of intrusive. I'm glad his son didn't have much of one.
This movie tried to be sappy too, and it sure was. What's with that "Family Channel" ending? That who montage was supposed to make us cry, cuz we know "Everything's all right now," but man that song was just schlocky!
After briefly scanning the other reviews, I was surprised, cuz I thought more people would say it was only a so-so film, but everyone loved it. I certainly didn't. 5/24/00
Besides the silly premise, I wasn't totally taken by the whole serial killer scenario. I pretty much guessed that the "Nightengale" would go after the mother. Other "twists" were pretty obvious too (Quaid getting implicated in the murders).
I was especially irked by Quaid's really annoying accent. I don't think it was very accurate, and kind of intrusive. I'm glad his son didn't have much of one.
This movie tried to be sappy too, and it sure was. What's with that "Family Channel" ending? That who montage was supposed to make us cry, cuz we know "Everything's all right now," but man that song was just schlocky!
After briefly scanning the other reviews, I was surprised, cuz I thought more people would say it was only a so-so film, but everyone loved it. I certainly didn't. 5/24/00
Gladiator
(2000)
Action ... and a story, too!
9 May 2000
"Gladiator" is a good movie without being a great movie. It's not that it had any huge flaws in it, it's just that it never built upon itself. Instead of getting more and more powerful with each battle and each scene of intrigue, the film just resets itself to its previous level. This effort to keep itself in check is what kept the movie from being "great."
It started with a great battle and, like I said, just cruised along after that. It had no grand climax, just a quiet ending.
The story is intriguing -- a tale of treachery, revenge and triumph -- though I'm told it was lifted from "The Fall of the Roman Empire."
Technically speaking, "Gladiator" is intriguing. Here's why:
>>>Unlike Roger Ebert, who criticized it's muddy tones, I thought the use of two major colors -- blue and brown -- was impressive. It helped bring it together thematicly if you think of it. Blue for the sinister politics and brown for the Maximus' battles.
>>>Another interesting thing was the use of snakes. Just before some of key gladiatorial battles in the film, they always showed people playing and taunting snakes. Perhaps it was director Ridley Scott's way of saying if you mess with Maximus, you get bit.
>>>Particularly pleasing is that Christianity or Judeaism wasn't in the film at all. Why? Because every other film I've seen like this makes a point to show that it was the hero's religion that made them the good guy. In fact, "Gladiator" goes out of its way to show Roman/Greek religion as it was truly embraced by the Romans. It was a nice touch.
And finally one minor criticism: A recent cliche that has surfaced in movies about ancient times is that the villain is always considered sexually deviant. He's a homosexual. He's in love with his mother. He wants to sleep with his sister. He's a sadist.
Why is this? Isn't killing people in cold blood a good enough reason to be a villain? Why do the writers have to continue their "character development" into the sex thing?
May 9, 2000
It started with a great battle and, like I said, just cruised along after that. It had no grand climax, just a quiet ending.
The story is intriguing -- a tale of treachery, revenge and triumph -- though I'm told it was lifted from "The Fall of the Roman Empire."
Technically speaking, "Gladiator" is intriguing. Here's why:
>>>Unlike Roger Ebert, who criticized it's muddy tones, I thought the use of two major colors -- blue and brown -- was impressive. It helped bring it together thematicly if you think of it. Blue for the sinister politics and brown for the Maximus' battles.
>>>Another interesting thing was the use of snakes. Just before some of key gladiatorial battles in the film, they always showed people playing and taunting snakes. Perhaps it was director Ridley Scott's way of saying if you mess with Maximus, you get bit.
>>>Particularly pleasing is that Christianity or Judeaism wasn't in the film at all. Why? Because every other film I've seen like this makes a point to show that it was the hero's religion that made them the good guy. In fact, "Gladiator" goes out of its way to show Roman/Greek religion as it was truly embraced by the Romans. It was a nice touch.
And finally one minor criticism: A recent cliche that has surfaced in movies about ancient times is that the villain is always considered sexually deviant. He's a homosexual. He's in love with his mother. He wants to sleep with his sister. He's a sadist.
Why is this? Isn't killing people in cold blood a good enough reason to be a villain? Why do the writers have to continue their "character development" into the sex thing?
May 9, 2000
The Legend of Prince Valiant
(1991–1994)
Well-done adventure series
22 January 2000
While the animation wasn't always the best, I usually enjoyed the storylines. One thing I didn't like was some of the voice casting, especially the female lead role. I don't think it lasted very long because it was pretty tame for the younger set. I'd bet it was watered down by the "700-Club"/Pat Robertson-controlled Family Channel censors.
Excalibur
(1981)
Barely able to keep my attention
22 January 2000
While I own this film (it has knights in it after all!), I find watching it a bit of a chore because it just covers too much, making it impossible for me to follow it well. I understand the basic Arthurian legend and all of its facets and it does do a fantastic job covering it, but no one stands out in this film as a lead character. Not Arthur, not Lancelot, not Percival.
The actor who plays Merlin is good in the role, better than Sam Neill in his spin on the character. I like the use of magic too. It's subtle and not at all over the top with special effects.
The soundtrack, however, seemed a bit out of place. The classical music faded in and out all through the film and made it seem like the director was just filling time with it. Hey Boorman, either put it in through the whole film or cut it out completely!
Lastly, it should be noted that Liam Neeson, Patrick Stewart, and Gabriel Byrne all have roles in "Excalibur."
1/23/00
The actor who plays Merlin is good in the role, better than Sam Neill in his spin on the character. I like the use of magic too. It's subtle and not at all over the top with special effects.
The soundtrack, however, seemed a bit out of place. The classical music faded in and out all through the film and made it seem like the director was just filling time with it. Hey Boorman, either put it in through the whole film or cut it out completely!
Lastly, it should be noted that Liam Neeson, Patrick Stewart, and Gabriel Byrne all have roles in "Excalibur."
1/23/00
Africa Screams
(1949)
Those evil, evil women are after Lou again ...
22 January 2000
This A&C film is right on par with most of their other work. It has its silly moments (like the opening scene of Lou vs. the kitty cat) and it has some really good moments. One theme in A&C flicks I just have to mention is how poor Lou always gets stuck with the angry-evil-pushy woman - who gets so sick of him that she wants to kill him. He just seems to attract'em like flies. Ah well, it makes good comedy.
Miracle Mile
(1988)
Could've been better with bigger stars
24 November 1999
The thing about "Miracle Mile" is its pace. Its pulsing, gyrating, twisting pace.
I'm not talking about a pace like "Speed" or "Independence Day," but an unrelenting ticking clock to the big finish.
What's the big finish? The end of the world, of course.
The story opens with Anthony Edwards touring the La Brea Tar Pits where he keeps on exchanging glances with Mare Winningham. They meet and go out and plan to meet again.
It's then when Edwards gets the call. Chip, a soldier at a missile silo, tells Edwards that they've just fired off their nuclear warheads and the bombs will be on their way from Russia. The end is near and Edwards decides he has to escape.
So he and a few others hatch a plan to flee to the South Pole, and they've only got an hour to get moving.
What follows is a crazy frenetic race against time that is impossible to win.
What's good this movie? Lots ... ... Cinematography. Shots are full of blinking lights, flashing sirens, spinning signs. .... Supporting Cast. Denise Crosby is great as the cerebral planner. The guy from "Forrest Gump" (I think) as the stereo thief that Edwards recruits. ... Pace. Never a dull moment. ... The Panic Scene. When the streets get packed, watch and absorb the scene. The strangest is when Edwards is crawling under the cars. ... Thoughtfulness. This is the kind of movie that makes you wonder who you'd like to be stuck on a desert island with.
So why isn't this more well known? Why wasn't it a hit? Three things.
First, it lacked star power. In 1989 Edwards was still a relative unknown and who in their right mind would cast Winningham as a romantic lead? Her hair cut would embarrass Weird Al Yankovic.
Second, timing. Imagine if "Miracle Mile" was released in the early 1980s, say a few months after "The Day After" aired. It would've been huge!
Lastly, its ending. It's not the type of ending that most want to see. People want hope, and "Miracle Mile" was about getting beat by the clock.
I'm not talking about a pace like "Speed" or "Independence Day," but an unrelenting ticking clock to the big finish.
What's the big finish? The end of the world, of course.
The story opens with Anthony Edwards touring the La Brea Tar Pits where he keeps on exchanging glances with Mare Winningham. They meet and go out and plan to meet again.
It's then when Edwards gets the call. Chip, a soldier at a missile silo, tells Edwards that they've just fired off their nuclear warheads and the bombs will be on their way from Russia. The end is near and Edwards decides he has to escape.
So he and a few others hatch a plan to flee to the South Pole, and they've only got an hour to get moving.
What follows is a crazy frenetic race against time that is impossible to win.
What's good this movie? Lots ... ... Cinematography. Shots are full of blinking lights, flashing sirens, spinning signs. .... Supporting Cast. Denise Crosby is great as the cerebral planner. The guy from "Forrest Gump" (I think) as the stereo thief that Edwards recruits. ... Pace. Never a dull moment. ... The Panic Scene. When the streets get packed, watch and absorb the scene. The strangest is when Edwards is crawling under the cars. ... Thoughtfulness. This is the kind of movie that makes you wonder who you'd like to be stuck on a desert island with.
So why isn't this more well known? Why wasn't it a hit? Three things.
First, it lacked star power. In 1989 Edwards was still a relative unknown and who in their right mind would cast Winningham as a romantic lead? Her hair cut would embarrass Weird Al Yankovic.
Second, timing. Imagine if "Miracle Mile" was released in the early 1980s, say a few months after "The Day After" aired. It would've been huge!
Lastly, its ending. It's not the type of ending that most want to see. People want hope, and "Miracle Mile" was about getting beat by the clock.
Sleepy Hollow
(1999)
Burton's mainstream masterpiece
23 November 1999
This film exceeded all my expectations.
Most of all, I was thoroughly amazed at the wimpy-ness of the hero and his fears. It's nice to see a protagonist who isn't a gun-slinging muscleman, but an introverted, unsure and cowardly every-man.
The fight scenes are probably what really kept the movie going for me. Swords were flying and axes hacking in all directions. If it weren't for "The Phantom Menace," I would have said "Sleepy Hollow" had the best weapon use I'd ever seen.
Also, I was just enthralled with the horseman and his square-shouldered menace. As a "monster," I've seen few that held my attention as well as the Headless Horseman did.
As for the plot, which many legit reviewers have complained about, I had no problem with it. Rewriting Washington Irving's tale as a mystery was an excellent idea and the whodunnit kept me guessing! I also appreciated the spruced up supernatural aspects to the tale, which seemed right at place in the gloomy setting.
In closing, I found this much more watchable --- in a mainstream sort of way --- than Tim Burton's more eccentric works, such as "Ed Wood," "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" and "Mars Attacks!"
Most of all, I was thoroughly amazed at the wimpy-ness of the hero and his fears. It's nice to see a protagonist who isn't a gun-slinging muscleman, but an introverted, unsure and cowardly every-man.
The fight scenes are probably what really kept the movie going for me. Swords were flying and axes hacking in all directions. If it weren't for "The Phantom Menace," I would have said "Sleepy Hollow" had the best weapon use I'd ever seen.
Also, I was just enthralled with the horseman and his square-shouldered menace. As a "monster," I've seen few that held my attention as well as the Headless Horseman did.
As for the plot, which many legit reviewers have complained about, I had no problem with it. Rewriting Washington Irving's tale as a mystery was an excellent idea and the whodunnit kept me guessing! I also appreciated the spruced up supernatural aspects to the tale, which seemed right at place in the gloomy setting.
In closing, I found this much more watchable --- in a mainstream sort of way --- than Tim Burton's more eccentric works, such as "Ed Wood," "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" and "Mars Attacks!"
Old ideas recycled from better movies
20 November 1999
A misguided comedy aimed at making drugged-up idiots look cool. "Senior Trip" is often offensive, especially with its pro-drug stance and various stereotypes.
Still though, it has its funny moments and some good lines. Probably the best character, as everyone else has mentioned, is Kevin McDonald's Star Trek-loving revenge-minded crossing guard. In the film, he's on the hunt to kill Reg, probably the one character in the film who really deserved to die.
And let's not forget playing the piano with an erection and blowing out Hoover's eternal flame with a massive fart.
"Trip" also does it's best to recycle old ideas from better movies. A teacher dies in class("Teachers"). A stupid inept secretary annoys the principal("Ferris Bueller"). The slacker gets the rich girl("Say Anything"). The pep assembly with no pep ("Fast Times at Ridgemont High").
Still though, it has its funny moments and some good lines. Probably the best character, as everyone else has mentioned, is Kevin McDonald's Star Trek-loving revenge-minded crossing guard. In the film, he's on the hunt to kill Reg, probably the one character in the film who really deserved to die.
And let's not forget playing the piano with an erection and blowing out Hoover's eternal flame with a massive fart.
"Trip" also does it's best to recycle old ideas from better movies. A teacher dies in class("Teachers"). A stupid inept secretary annoys the principal("Ferris Bueller"). The slacker gets the rich girl("Say Anything"). The pep assembly with no pep ("Fast Times at Ridgemont High").
Miami Blues
(1990)
Stolen teeth and dead Khrishnas
20 November 1999
You gotta love a film that includes a burglary Haiku.
"Miami Blues" is a frumpy and sleazy movie, and I mean this in a good way. Its great plot has Alec Baldwin playing a scummy manipulator fresh out of prison who hooks up with dumb-as-a-sack-of-rocks prostitute Jennifer Jason Leigh. One thing leads to another and Baldwin is running around the grimey-est parts Miami, posing as a cop and stealing like a bandit.
Baldwin snagged his badge from Fred Ward, a down-on-his-luck cop who also gets his false teeth swiped. How utterly ridiculous is that? (Again in a good slice-of-life way)
Particularly interesting is Baldwin's relationship with Leigh. For some reason she puts blinders on to all his worst qualities and listens to him no matter what he says. Her character is just so needy that you want to smack her.
Through the film, Baldwin keeps telling her that they're married. He just keeps saying it and talking about the future. After awhile, she confronts him about having kids.
"I don't wanna have any babies. This world's a s**t hole. Can you handle that," he says. "I do," she quietly responds. With a clever smile, he says it back. "I do."
And with that, they are joined, at least until she wises up and abandons him in a gunfight.
"Miami Blues" is a great character study. It looks at a sociopath. It looks at a co-dependent. Most of all, it looks at the world we live in.
"Miami Blues" is a frumpy and sleazy movie, and I mean this in a good way. Its great plot has Alec Baldwin playing a scummy manipulator fresh out of prison who hooks up with dumb-as-a-sack-of-rocks prostitute Jennifer Jason Leigh. One thing leads to another and Baldwin is running around the grimey-est parts Miami, posing as a cop and stealing like a bandit.
Baldwin snagged his badge from Fred Ward, a down-on-his-luck cop who also gets his false teeth swiped. How utterly ridiculous is that? (Again in a good slice-of-life way)
Particularly interesting is Baldwin's relationship with Leigh. For some reason she puts blinders on to all his worst qualities and listens to him no matter what he says. Her character is just so needy that you want to smack her.
Through the film, Baldwin keeps telling her that they're married. He just keeps saying it and talking about the future. After awhile, she confronts him about having kids.
"I don't wanna have any babies. This world's a s**t hole. Can you handle that," he says. "I do," she quietly responds. With a clever smile, he says it back. "I do."
And with that, they are joined, at least until she wises up and abandons him in a gunfight.
"Miami Blues" is a great character study. It looks at a sociopath. It looks at a co-dependent. Most of all, it looks at the world we live in.
Huey Lewis and the News meets Doc Savage
18 November 1999
It's probably best described as a "Doc Savage" for the 1980s. The premise is this, Buckaroo Banzai is a man of many talents, a Jack-of-all-trades, who assembles around him a team of scientists and adventurers who help him explore new frontiers and fight evil wherever it exists.
"Buckaroo Banzai" is a personal favorite of mine. It's not in my top ten favorite films, but easily in my top thirty. It didn't start out that way, it's one of those movies that takes multiple viewings to really absorb it all, and thanks to HBO, I did. I don't know what drew me to it, maybe the Huey Lewis & The News look of its characters. Maybe it's the off-kilter, kooky soundtrack. Or maybe it's the great performances by it's ast of villains, which includes John Lithgow, Christopher Lloyd and Vincent Schiavelli. It could be the little things sprinkled throughout the story.
What little things am I talking about? Well ... ...Peter Weller plays Banzai, the multi-talented hero, who is the center of the movie. It's Weller's that makes it seem like all the events going on seem like it's just an ordinary day for him. Bad aliens from another dimension. Good aliens who threaten nuclear war. Torture slugs. Flying seashells. Yeah, that's real ordinary. ...John Lithgow is the film's chief badguy, who has the all best lines, all delivered with an outrageous Italian accent. ...Banzai is truly a national hero. He has divisions of Blue Blazer Irregulars all throughout the country, almost like a militia, but only taking what's good about militias(!). ...It's got a great Halloween connection. You've heard about Orson Welle's "War of the Worlds" dramacast on Oct.31, 1938, right? Y'know, the one that panicked America. Well, "Across the Eighth Dimension" tells you what Welles was really reporting. ...If your first name is John, you may be a Lectroid, the aliens in the film. It seems when the Lectroids first arrived on Earth, they thought "John" was some sort of title, so all the bad guys names begin with John....John Whorfin... John Yaya... John Small Berries... John O'Connor...John Parker... John Bigboote. ...Banzai's bandmates are all pretty cool, too. My favorite, Perfect Tommy, played by Lewis Smith. But they aren't all no-namers. Ellen Barkin, Jeff Goldblum and Clancy Brown are all in the cast too. ...At the end of the film, a sequel is promised "Buckaroo Banzai Against the World Crime League." It never appeared. But it just makes you wonder, what did they have planned?
"Buckaroo Banzai" is a personal favorite of mine. It's not in my top ten favorite films, but easily in my top thirty. It didn't start out that way, it's one of those movies that takes multiple viewings to really absorb it all, and thanks to HBO, I did. I don't know what drew me to it, maybe the Huey Lewis & The News look of its characters. Maybe it's the off-kilter, kooky soundtrack. Or maybe it's the great performances by it's ast of villains, which includes John Lithgow, Christopher Lloyd and Vincent Schiavelli. It could be the little things sprinkled throughout the story.
What little things am I talking about? Well ... ...Peter Weller plays Banzai, the multi-talented hero, who is the center of the movie. It's Weller's that makes it seem like all the events going on seem like it's just an ordinary day for him. Bad aliens from another dimension. Good aliens who threaten nuclear war. Torture slugs. Flying seashells. Yeah, that's real ordinary. ...John Lithgow is the film's chief badguy, who has the all best lines, all delivered with an outrageous Italian accent. ...Banzai is truly a national hero. He has divisions of Blue Blazer Irregulars all throughout the country, almost like a militia, but only taking what's good about militias(!). ...It's got a great Halloween connection. You've heard about Orson Welle's "War of the Worlds" dramacast on Oct.31, 1938, right? Y'know, the one that panicked America. Well, "Across the Eighth Dimension" tells you what Welles was really reporting. ...If your first name is John, you may be a Lectroid, the aliens in the film. It seems when the Lectroids first arrived on Earth, they thought "John" was some sort of title, so all the bad guys names begin with John....John Whorfin... John Yaya... John Small Berries... John O'Connor...John Parker... John Bigboote. ...Banzai's bandmates are all pretty cool, too. My favorite, Perfect Tommy, played by Lewis Smith. But they aren't all no-namers. Ellen Barkin, Jeff Goldblum and Clancy Brown are all in the cast too. ...At the end of the film, a sequel is promised "Buckaroo Banzai Against the World Crime League." It never appeared. But it just makes you wonder, what did they have planned?
Blast from the Past
(1999)
"A fairly entertaining film
2 November 1999
A fairly entertaining film with Fraser playing a Tom-Hanks-in-"Big" character and Silverstone proving once again that yes, she's a young 20-something from California.
Walken and Spacek are thrown into the mix in a bit of odd casting but they end up proving themselves as the perfect "out of this time" couple. Walken is the Commie-crazed father who buries his family in a fall-out shelter. Spacek is the 50s- or 60s-era housewife who goes bonkers from the isolation and enjoys her Champagne cocktails a little too much.
The script, despite a truly contrived plot, does show some moments of good writing. One in particular has Silverstone and Foley playing off one another as she tries to discover Fraser's whereabouts. Plenty of goofy and smile-inducing "out of his element" humor, too.
Fraser does a great job playing his all-too usual comedic role -- the lunk-headed hero. Silversone also dips into her past performances but manages to be undeniably cute as the pouty Eve.
The verdict? Good date-and-popcorn movie, but other than that, just a so-so film with a better than average cast.
Walken and Spacek are thrown into the mix in a bit of odd casting but they end up proving themselves as the perfect "out of this time" couple. Walken is the Commie-crazed father who buries his family in a fall-out shelter. Spacek is the 50s- or 60s-era housewife who goes bonkers from the isolation and enjoys her Champagne cocktails a little too much.
The script, despite a truly contrived plot, does show some moments of good writing. One in particular has Silverstone and Foley playing off one another as she tries to discover Fraser's whereabouts. Plenty of goofy and smile-inducing "out of his element" humor, too.
Fraser does a great job playing his all-too usual comedic role -- the lunk-headed hero. Silversone also dips into her past performances but manages to be undeniably cute as the pouty Eve.
The verdict? Good date-and-popcorn movie, but other than that, just a so-so film with a better than average cast.
Jake Speed
(1986)
I'd actually call an inspiration!
15 October 1999
"Jake Speed" is a fine movie with a wonderful message. It has its flaws of course. At times it's a little slow. It introduces its villain too far into the story. It's action is paced at the rate of a snail's heartbeat. It has a Z-grade cast (Although I've always admired the work of Karen Kopins, who has the straight-laced good looks of Sandra Bullock).
But with all this going against it, "Jake Speed" really is inspiring, thanks to a charming script by Wayne Crawford(who plays the title role) and Andrew Lane.
Why do I find it so inspiring? Because it says to me "Hey, why not try to be a good person."
The story is essentially a "stranger in a strange land" premise, that is good-and-heroic Jake Speed is placed in the real world where bad things happen to good people. Jake is more than a Boy Scout. He's more than a knight in shining armor. Jake Speed is the patron saint of optimism in a dirty, mean and evil world.
It's because of this that "Jake Speed" really needed to be a hit. It has a great message that should have gotten out to Hollywood and then to the rest of the world.
Imagine a movie industry that really pushed itself to portray good and decent people. I'm not saying that we should be watching the Waltons in every theater at the cineplex, but that it would be nice if more movies such as "Jake Speed" would get a chance. ("Due South," a TV show about a Canadian Mountie, is a good comparison of what can be done to brighten up American entertainment.)
Sure, "Jake Speed" has violence, blood and guns, but the overall message is that if you try hard enough to be a good person, you'll beat the forces of evil every time. 10/14/99
But with all this going against it, "Jake Speed" really is inspiring, thanks to a charming script by Wayne Crawford(who plays the title role) and Andrew Lane.
Why do I find it so inspiring? Because it says to me "Hey, why not try to be a good person."
The story is essentially a "stranger in a strange land" premise, that is good-and-heroic Jake Speed is placed in the real world where bad things happen to good people. Jake is more than a Boy Scout. He's more than a knight in shining armor. Jake Speed is the patron saint of optimism in a dirty, mean and evil world.
It's because of this that "Jake Speed" really needed to be a hit. It has a great message that should have gotten out to Hollywood and then to the rest of the world.
Imagine a movie industry that really pushed itself to portray good and decent people. I'm not saying that we should be watching the Waltons in every theater at the cineplex, but that it would be nice if more movies such as "Jake Speed" would get a chance. ("Due South," a TV show about a Canadian Mountie, is a good comparison of what can be done to brighten up American entertainment.)
Sure, "Jake Speed" has violence, blood and guns, but the overall message is that if you try hard enough to be a good person, you'll beat the forces of evil every time. 10/14/99
Midnight Madness
(1980)
The holy grail of funny movies
1 October 1999
Like so many others who've commented on "Midnight Madness," I only saw this when it hit cable in the mid-1980s. It's a great bit of fun and I can remember getting home from school and watching it again and again with my brother and sister. In fact, it got to be such a legend in our house, that once it finally left the HBO lineup, it became nothing short of the Holy Grail of video tapes. I looked for it on video for almost 10 years! Finally, after I "grew up", went to college and moved two states away, I found a copy of it in a little video store in Portsmouth, Ohio (I'm originally from N.Y.). Unfortunately, I couldn't convince the store to sell it to me! I called several times and begged the owner for it but to no avail. Eventually, I got my girlfriend to sweet talk the owner into selling it. And now, it's mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Now if someone who went on a 10-year quest to see a movie isn't convincing enough for you to rent it, then I don't know what I can say!
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