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Reviews
Carman: The Champion (2001)
Carman Gets Macho for the Christian Gals
This is a mediocre and predictable movie indeed, with nary a hint of inspiration or originality. There is a fleeting bit of chemistry between The Champion and female lead Paty Manterola, who takes a break from her usual spicy lesbian-latina roles to play the straight love interest here. Carman Licciardello, the star of this ill-conceived vehicle, is an evangelical media personality who tours the country with a Bible-centered song-and-dance show that mainly draws a teen female audience. He is pushing 50 and has never been married, but always travels with a fresh crew of lithe young male dancers that perform with him onstage. While his highly profitable music video projects tend to be corny, tacky and sophomoric, in this movie he shows off his buff body and tries to present a more sophisticated and masculine persona. Unfortunately he is dogged at every turn by a dull script and forgettable supporting cast, with the possible exception of Manterola. But keep your eye on the fabulous Carman, as I am sure we will hear much more about him in the future!
The Original Kings of Comedy (2000)
A mind is a terrible thing to waste
I, too, am wondering why this was released as a feature film. In about three months this will be one of those movies you can buy for ten dollars at Target. But don't even waste your ten dollars then. Not only is the humor mainly sixth-grade level potty and sex jokes, but we are treated to the all-to-familiar generalizations about "white folks". Sorry, but racism is racism, no matter whose mouth it comes from. When was the last time you saw a white comic start a joke with "Ever notice how black people...?" Thank God they aren't allowed to do that anymore, and black comics shouldn't be allowed to either. I am a child of a happy interracial marriage, and both my African-American and European-American sides are offended by this scummy, low-budget retarded junior-high shuck and jive. Spike Lee should really be ashamed of himself for pimping out these old-school has-beens. I saw people of four different ethnic backgrounds walking out on this one in the first 45 mins. I stuck it out, hoping it might get better. It didn't.
The Eyes of Tammy Faye (2000)
Tammy Faye's side of the story!
I saw this film at the USA Film Festival in Dallas a few months back... glad to see it is getting the general release it deserves. This documentary is both heartbreaking and hilarious... it allows Tammy Faye to tell her side of the story regarding the TV preacher "Holy Wars" of the late 80s. You will laugh but you will also come away respecting this very courageous, strong, and surprisingly intelligent lady. The Bakkers were undoubtedly irresponsible with all the money they raked in during their TV heyday, but as you will see, they were urging people to show compassion and tolerance to gays and AIDS victims long before it was "OK" for religious media folks to do so and fashionable for celebrities to do so. You don't have to be religious to come away seeing even wacky folks like the Bakkers as real human beings. Nine stars out of ten!!
Coyote Ugly (2000)
This made me hot
This is one hot summer movie! Just saw a preview. Wow! It was hot and it made me hot. The story is thin, the direction is sort of a hack rock-video level effort. But the gurls in this one made up for it in a big way. They are sexy, sassy and sweaty. Most of the action takes place in a bar that is wild and weird and lots of fun. There is also danger as the gurls get into tricky situations with all sorts of characters, some of them shady. This movie is pure entertainment and made me want to be a bartender, or at least get into a hot relationship with a female bartender that's for sure. Don't miss one if you like your music loud, your beer ice cold, your ladies strong and smart, and your breasts big and firm. Jerry Bruckheimey has done it again!!
Shaft (2000)
Hollywood completely out of ideas
Samuel L. Jackson does what he does best. Playing himself again, this time under the name Shaft. After sitting through this mess I was left with the same question I had going in.... why would they want to do a remake of a really good seventies movie? Did they hope to improve upon it? The answer is, they are banking on the twenty something crowd who didn't see the original and don't have sense enough to just rent the original instead of wasting mom and dad's money on a bad remake. Jackson's talents are wasted in a muddled and violent hack job that grates on the nerves and lacks originality and a sense of theme or direction. Both Cuban and Negro actors play the heavies, to no one's surprise. Rent the original and save a few bucks.
Spin (1995)
Political documentary deserves major release
I was given a poor-quality tape copy of this film and have no idea where to get the real deal. This chilling documentary is allegedly by the same director as "Feed", the hilarious film that covers the campaign for the 1992 Primaries. Both Feed and Spin draw most of their material from unexpurgated live satellite feeds, which reveal much of odd combo of calculation and cluelessness that go into the media farce of modern American elections. But with Spin, the tone is darker and scarier, as we see worthy contenders cut out of the political process by the de facto censorship of modern "sound byte" media, and witness mind-blowing off-air exchanges such as Larry King telling then-Governor Bill Clinton that Ted Turner would help him any way possible. King also appears suggesting a new source of tranquilizers for George Bush during a commercial break. Thank goodness for satellite feeds and those few who bother to find and monitor them! This documentary is uneven and sloppy at times but deserves a major release. Its triumph lies in its thought-provoking and unflinching assault on the status quo.
Sweet Movie (1974)
I guess I'm not hip enough for this one
Let's see, we've got a lady on a weird boat, a guy with a penis painted gold peeing on his new bride, a lady seductively stripping with her beaver practically in a pre-pubescent boy's face, and then implied sex with the same kid,people gorging themselves and then retching back onto their plates, a big climax with public pooping, and so forth. Sounds like a great freak-out and/or gross-out film for your next video party but it is so disjointed and ponderous that the description makes it sounds a lot more titillating than it really is. If you're a video trader, see if you can trade for it, watch it once so you can say you saw it. But I wouldn't pay money for it. And if you do trade for it keep in mind that if someone mails it to you, you better have an explanation ready for the feds if they happen to get a peek at it. Pee and scat porn and sexual themes involving kids are not something you want anyone to know you are receiving in the mail!!