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steve187
Reviews
The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
Some good elements, but overall a "thumbs down"
Let me preface by saying that yes, I have seen the play (twice) and very much enjoyed it both times. So I'm not anti-Webber, although what was Starlight Express??? Anyway, I thought that the sets, costumes and supporting cast were all excellent, especially Miranda Richardson, Simon Cowell and Minnie Driver. And the movie followed the score almost to a "T", which was nice. But what sunk this movie for me were the three leads. Just bad casting on all three parts. Butler - first off, since when did the Phantom look like he just came off of "People Magazine's sexiest man alive" cover??? Sorry, but this guy was too "heartthrob"/matinee-idol to play this part, with or without the makeup and/or mask, both of which were disappointing. But the worst part of his performance for me was his(?) singing. Flat as a pancake. "Music of the Night" has several key notes that the singer has to hit, and this guy hit none of them, making it almost painful to watch/hear him not pull it off. Rossum - there is nothing about her that makes her stand out, as she is somewhat plain. It didn't help that she carried one expression through the whole movie, either. She did have a good voice though. Wilson - The part of Raoul has always been interpreted as somewhat wimpy (honestly, haven't you always wondered why Christine ran off with him?), but I felt bad for Wilson because, with his long Prince Valient haircut and "I just turned 21" looks, I felt like the orchestra leader (remember, the old guy?) was going to beat him up and take his lunch money! Add to that the lack of chemistry between the three (It seemed like in the play, there was general emotional conflict between Christine and the Phantom; here it seems like it's all one-sided on his part), and the painfully obvious (and abundant) instances where the lips were not matching the lyrics, and you get this mess. Although I would recommend it to those who haven't seen the play and don't plan to, just for the score itself.
Detective Story (1951)
Painful
I remember that we did this play in high school, and I remember thinking "What is the point of this play? Nothing interesting happens!". Hadn't seen the movie since then, but caught it on TV the other day and wow ... how time DOESN'T change my impression of this story. Kirk Douglas IS Spartacus, so you can't slam the guy, but Kirk, Kirk, Kirk. baaaad acting, my friend. I loved the scene after he had called his wife a tramp, gets a talking to from his newspaper friend, then comes back in all "but I love you", then goes back to raging against her two lines later. Can you say emotional problems, McCloud? And don't even need to go into the terrible over-acting from "Charley". Blah, I give it a 3 out of 10. Lee Grant was the only redeeming part of the movie.
Angels' Brigade (1979)
So bad, it's great!
Oh, this film is horrible, make no mistake about it. The reason I gave it a 7 is because it's so bad as a straight-faced movie that it's an A+ as garbage! This film is really really bad, I don't have to tell you that. But if you are looking for a few hours of "oh my God, I can't believe they made this", it's not bad. MST3K spoofed it awhile back, and it's one of their better episodes. And, get this -- I knew Susan Kiger (AKA - the singer)! She is still hot, and a very sweet person. I was watching the MST3K version one day, and realized -- OHMYGOD, I know her! I brought it up to her, and she laughed and was shocked that I knew the movie. I gave her a copy of the MST3k version (funny, since they rip on her pretty harshly), and she loved it! What a good sport!
Urban Legend (1998)
Worst of the worst from the "rebirth" of horror films (Some Spoilers)
Ok, I have to start by saying that I do love these teen slasher films. Even bad slasher films can be fun. But when you get a piece of fecal matter such as Urban Legend .... well, you have to draw the line somewhere!
Let's start off with the characters. This film takes EVERY SINGLE stereotype about horror films and, rather than building on them or trying something new, simply recycles them. You have the pretty "virginal" girl (Think Jamie Lee in "Halloween"), the weird girl who doesn't fit in (Think "Valerie" from "Friday Pt 5", the professor/older guy who gets killed (think Henry Winkler in "Scream"), and OF COURSE the obligatory prankster whose death is thought of as a practical joke (remember the fat guy from "Friday Pt. 3"? Oh, and the required creepy janitor guy, not to mention that all of the teens in this flick look like they stepped out of an Aaron Spelling TV show. Trite, trite, trite.
Then of course you get the authority figures who are shown the truth but refuse to accept it, instead thinking that there's a "rational explanation"... until there guts are hanging out or their heads are missing.
But my favorite came in the scene with the death of one of the characters:
S P O I L E R A L E R T! S P O I L E R A L E R T !
Ok, so you have the goth chick who is made to look like a suicide. Ok, so the dean says "oh, it wasn't murder, it was suicide, and she wrote the message on the wall in her blood for you, Alicia Witt character". Uh - huh. SO she slashes her wrist, goes to the wall, writes this message on the wall, and then dies -- WITHOUT LEAVING A BLOODY MESS ANYWHERE BUT ON THE BED! And if she wrote it on the wall (without losing conciousness), what did she use to write it with???? And the coup de gras: So it's maybe a murder, maybe a suicide --- and the campus police are the one's investigating?????
Man, makes me reeeeally glad that I went to a non - prestigous school, as these characters are just too dumb for their own good!
Bottom line: just avoid this and rent a classic horror flick instead!
The Unholy Three (1930)
Good (not as great as the original, but...)
Definitely worth a look. There are some advantages/disadvantages to the original. Disadvantages: Well, there are a few. The tension isn't as great. Lila Lee is not as sympathetic a "Rosie" as Mae Busch from the original. I am a HUGE fan of Harry Earles, but he is all but incoherent here unfortunately. Ivan isn't as good as Victor in the role of Hercules, and Hector really bugs me in this version. Advantages: Of course, YOU GET TO HEAR LON CHANEY! His one and only "talkie"! That's worth the price of admission alone! My grandmother used to head a movie theater waaaay back in the late 20's and early 30's and said that people went crazy for their chance to hear Chaney talk! I believe it! Okay, besides that, the scene with the police detective and the toy elephant is great! The scene where Harry Earles tries to get an early bonus with the necklace is very good and the whole relationship between the midget and the strongman is better defined, IMHO, in this version. All in all, check it out if you have a chance!
Sailors, Beware! (1927)
Pretty good
I am not a huge fan of Laurel and Hardy, I will admit. BUT, I am a huge fan of Harry Earles, who plays the baby/midget in this short. In general, I would say that this movie is very very good. It is pretty quickly paced, Hardy plays the slightly effeminate (IMHO) steward on a ship in which Laurel has mistakenly been put aboard. Since Laurel doesn't want to be there, and with the only other choice being too detrimental to his well-being, he decides to go along with it. During his pseudo-duties, he finds a midget (Harry Earles) acting as a baby in order to help his thieving wife aboard the ship. Generally a good bit o' fun! The only problem I had was with the many many sound effects that accompanied my version. Hopefully you won't have the same problem!
The Unholy Three (1925)
Take into context
Compared to many films of today, yes, the movie is a bit slow moving. But if you take it into the context of the time, I think this movie is fantastic! Think of it, this was similar to the 'Silence of the Lambs" or "Sixth Sense" of our time! I know this was one of the best movies of 1925, according to the box office counts, so if you take it in that context, WOW! This is a great movie! I personally liked all three of the main "bad guys" (especially Harry Earles as Tweedledee, the midget.), and, if you've seen the 1930 version, I think this "Rosie" is much better than the 1930 Lila Lee "Rosie" (sorry, I blanked). Anyway, a great movie that any good crime movie-lover or silent movie-lover should check out. Check out Turner Classic Movies, as they frequently run it
Unbreakable (2000)
Painfully bad
Man, how so many people could have liked this movie is just beyond me. I mean, there are bad movies (Battlefield Earth) and then there are PAINFULLY BAD movies like this one! What did people see in this? Did we see the same movie?? There wasn't a single character in there that was sympathetic or interesting. The storyline was non-existent, and the ending left myself and many others in the theater saying "what...what just happened there???". If I could have given it less than a "1", I would have. I wasn't expecting a "sixth Sense Part 2", but given the writer/director's past success, I was at least hoping for something well written and directed. MMMMnope. Do you think if I write Night he will send me my money back?