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EvilAsh
Reviews
Unearthed (2004)
Awful, awful, awful
I feel compelled to comment on this movie, since the other comments presented here must have been made by people involved with the film. This movie is beyond bad. I saw a preview screening of it at Horrorfind Weekend back in 2004. Now, granted, it was an unfinished version of the film, but it remains the first, and only, movie that I have ever walked out of. I was not the only one thinking, "abort! abort!" either, as at least half of the audience had left by the time I made my way out.
The plot (what there was of it) involved a construction crew uncovering ancient Indian artifacts, one of which is a metal tube of apparently alien origin. Two different sides then vie for possession of the tube, the first comprised of an archaeologist, a shot-first-and-never-ask-questions cop (Savini, the only "actor" of note in this film), and a "mysterious" (read: boring) vigilante who may or may not be an alien. The second is a gang whose members don't die very easily and their alien leader, though no one seems to really care or notice that he's an alien.
The overall premise is okay, but the execution falls completely flat. The director, in his introduction before the film, stated that his intent was to make something of a "moving graphic novel set to music" (I'm paraphrasing). Well, one has to remember that, in a graphic novel, the sections with no dialogue or narration can be taken in in about thirty seconds, literally. In the movie, they drag on for about five to ten straight minutes. It's as if the movie wasn't long enough, so the director decided to throw in two or three music videos in order to lengthen this clunker.
The script, while horribly convoluted and needlessly confusing, is bearable. The actors, however, fail to play their parts, but they more read them to the camera and each other. Savini, who we all know is not an actor by trade, is unfortunately the best one on display here. The rather ham-fisted editing further adds to confusion, with sequences ending to suddenly, settings changing without proper establishment, and events being referred to which the audience never saw take place (though, this may be since I saw an incomplete version).
I sometimes question where filmmakers such as these get the money for there productions, as I'm sure a much better movies are floating around looking for financing. Do yourself a favor and track down a little known good movie, one that holds your interest as opposed to being so ridiculous and mind numbing as to make an avid movie-goer abandon ship halfway through.
The St. Francisville Experiment (2000)
What a waste
Such a shame. This movie could have been good, it could have been THE definative "teenagers running around with videocameras getting the crap scaried out of them" movie, but it wasn't, far from it. I found out about this movie form an article in the horror movie magizine "Wicked", and was intrigued by the fact that it was supposed to be REAL real. Well, it isn't, as is obviuos to anyone how has seen the movie. Too many of the scares are too convinent, many of the shots too perfect, and much of the acting too abismal. If this movie was real, then wouldn't the people point both the flashlights and the cameras at what they were looking at, as oppose to their own faces? And (spoiler alert)...................................................................... .............................why would all the people split-up at the end, instead of "cleansing" each room one by one? As my brother put it: "Haven't these people ever seen Scooby Doo?" Many of the "hidden" doors and crevices are far too obvious. The one crevice was in plain view when the one guy looks down, but he doesn't notice it until later. And the door to the secret passage is obscured by some clothes. The last few minutes help the overall movie, but doesn't pull it out of the nice whole it has dug itself. Only see it with friends so that you can keep yourself entertained by each others wise cracks.