Reviews

14 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
The Walking Dead: Welcome to the Tombs (2013)
Season 3, Episode 16
Great Finale...Setup Nicely for Season 4
1 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Why is it necessary for people to want the end of a season to be filled with total closure? At the end of last season, we were setup for some true unknowns and I for one was not disappointed.

The Walking Dead was never intended to be a show like Law & Order where in 60 minutes stories are told and finished. This is a show where you are always left with the unknown...just like the survivors. The only good that would come out of the governor getting killed in this episode is that the audience would be happy and be able to look forward to Rick's crew moving on. But having the governor's fate unknown, and the group from Woodbury showing up at the prison, gives season 4 that sense of the unknown.

I for one am happy that none of the main characters from the prison were killed. The governor is crazier than ever and he will probably meet his fate in a horrible fashion early on in season 4...or maybe even season 5. But for now, just like for the survivors, the fate of everyone, from the prison to Woodbury, is...unknown.
9 out of 21 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Above Average Horror...Nothing New, However
21 August 2011
Warning: Spoilers
All in all, Quarantine 2: Terminal was a decent enough horror movie for me to recommend seeing at least once. The scares and outcome are pretty much predictable, but there are still enough shocks to satisfy. The acting was decent, even though there was the standard horror film clichéd characters. The gore was prevalent, but not that over the top for a "zombie" killing film...with the exception of the "antedote" scene: when you see it, you'll know what I'm talking about.

With all that said, I really only had two problems with the plot....so here is where the spoiler comes in.

********************SPOILER ALERT*****************SPOILER ALERT********* 1) The guy in the wheelchair, with Parkinson's....how was he able to survive the carnage in the plane? The pilot, co-pilot, infected rat, big fat infected guy, etc...were all left behind on the plane. And the guy in the wheelchair was left in his seat as everyone else escaped to the terminal. It was not until they all came back later that we see that the fat guy broke free and infected them all...but somehow, the immobile and helpless old man was spared.

2) Since the CBDT knew they were never going to let the people inside the terminal out alive, especially since they murdered their own men when they tried to leave, why did it take them so long to firebomb the building? If they were serious about containment, they would have burned it down right away...not give some a chance to escape.
3 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Insidious (I) (2010)
Horrible Final Act
18 July 2011
Warning: Spoilers
What do you get when you mix The Exorcist, Poltergeist, Dreamscape, The Entity, Saw, and Ghostbusters? You get one of the most ironically titled movies ever: Insidious.

Every single one of the movies listed above was referenced in one way or another; the most annoying being the sudden camera shaking and bounce around type edits from the Saw films. There nothing original, let alone scary, about this uneven, silly "horror" movie.

Just a few questions about the plot:

What happened to the two other children in the final act? I ask this because if the baby was staying with the mother, why was the baby monitor still in the room?

The family just moved into a house and was able to sell it and rent another one almost immediately? Come on.

How is it that Elise, the psychic, was unable to tell that the old woman came back with Josh?

Total waste of an hour and 45 minutes.
8 out of 15 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The Happening (2008)
1/10
How Many More Movies Could M. Night Fit In This P.O.S.?
13 June 2008
Maximum Overdrive, War of the Worlds, The Stand, Invasion of the Body Snatchers.....

The list goes on and on.

Not only does SHAMalan steal plot lines from all these movies, and more, he does so in such a horrible way. This is a guy who got lucky with what turned out to be the first in a long line of thrillers with a massive, jump-out-of-your-seat twist in the end. If The Sixth Sense had come out, say after Nicole Kidman's, far more superior, The Others, M.(good)Night's career would have died before it started.

It took five more attempts to finally prove to world that this hack is nothing more than a b-movie writer/director and he should never be allow to be in charge of another film again.

This is one of those movies whose trailers far out perform the whole film. Mark Wahlberg is one of those actors who Hollywood continues to throw in our faces while trying to make him a leading man. He is a C- supporting actor...at best.

The rest of the cast is horrible as well. If this film had a laugh track, it would have been a very entertaining romp. But unfortunately, the money I spent on this is gone forever...but the pain will linger for weeks.

Horrible...just horrible.
8 out of 16 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
May Have Hurt My Marriage
3 June 2008
I will preface this comment by saying that my wife and I have been going through some rough patches in our marriage. So needless to say, we needed a night out with just each other. So we decided on dinner and a movie. The dinner was very nice. We had a great time and appeared to be headed toward a very "exciting" finish.

With that said...guys, DO NOT TAKE YOU WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND TO THIS MOVIE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO ARGUE!!! My wife was a huge fan of the series and I was only an occasional watcher. I really didn't follow it so I wasn't 100% familiar with all of the characters and recurring plot lines. So I just figured it would be a funny, romantic movie to go to and also to appease my wife...she isn't a big Indian Jones fan.

20 minutes into this piece of garbage, I realized that this might have been a mistake...although you wouldn't have guessed it by my wife's reaction...she seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it. Even to the point of laughing...even though a lot of it seemed forced...at some of the worse jokes ever put on film. Seriously, the jokes in this film made Police Academy 6 seem like a Woody Allen movie.

But the worst was yet to come. After almost 2 1/2 hours of watching four, emotionally and mostly physically UNattractive 40 somethings bitch about men and try on clothes that should not be purchased by anyone during our current state of economy, I had to face the inevitability of actually talking to my wife about this movie on our drive home.

So now I had two choices: lie to her and tell her what a good movie it was...this would have made the movie drag on even further for me. Or, tell her the truth and hope that the conversation would stop there.

Well, I chose the latter...and guess what...the conversation did NOT stop there.

Apparently, men are not allowed to tell women that the characters in this farce are devoid of any heart, incapable of real love, and are just spoiled bratty wenches. And that any woman who watched this and thinks that their life can end up like this is in for a sad, demoralizing surprise.

Needless to say, I ended up sleeping on the pull out bed that night.

Men, please do yourself a favor...stay away from this piece a crap.
267 out of 527 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Knight Rider: Knight Rider (2008)
Season 1, Episode 0
1/10
Anytime you need Hasslehoff....
19 February 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Anytime David Hasslehoff is the best part of a show, you know you have problems.

First of all, the first 10 minutes were the most exciting part of this horrible attempt at action, and even that almost put me to sleep. Of course we knew Bruce Davison's character wasn't dead, he has top billing for crying out loud.

The next 5 minutes were an attempt to titillate us by introducing us to a very good looking and extremely young, lesbian FBI agent, who just happens to have a beach house where she is able to sleep with extremely hot, very young blonde girls.

And then of course we are introduced to the two main human characters, who happen to be the typical, two most beautiful people on the planet who have so many problems in their lives. The least of which is the fact that a domestic terrorist organization is after them and they still manage to have meaningful conversations about life and love while driving in a car going 250 MPH being voiced by the most over rated actor of his generation.

Did I leave anything else out? Did I bash this piece of garbage enough? Did I include the fact that this car was going over 200 MPH and never hit a traffic jam, or a speed trap, etc.? How much did Ford pay for this? No wonder they are laying people off left and right, they blew all their money on this trash. Every car in this show was a Ford. There was no other make of car on the road. How is that possible???!!! It is pretty bad when you watch something where you don't care about the protagonists at all, and the antagonists are stereotypical idiots who always miss their opportunity to kill the good guys by having the main villain leave before the job is done, and the jerks who stay behind get right up to guy kneeling on the ground to whisper the "last words he'll ever hear" into his ears. Wow...I never saw that coming. For a second I thought they weren't going to get away.

THIS SHOW SUCKED!!!!!! "My Dad is Better than Your Dad" had more action than this P.O.S!!!!
20 out of 28 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Wall Street (1987)
7/10
An Actress Who Can Suck the Life Out of a Film
13 October 2006
Until she got her eye plucked out of her skull in Kill Bill Volume 2, Daryl Hannah brought lifelessness to every role she was in, including her performance as Darian Taylor, the "great spender of OTHER people's money", in Oliver Stone's otherwise good movie, Wall Street. As much as this movie tried to show the greed and decadence that existed in the mid 1980's, the film makers tried, and failed miserably, to cash in on the popularity of this young actress, at the time, only to have cast one of the worst actresses of a generation. Every scene which did NOT include Daryl Hannah was a pleasure to watch and listen to. You really felt the greed in Michael Douglas' Gordon Gecko and could feel the changes in Charlie Sheen's Bud Fox, but whenever Daryl walk on the screen, the entire energy flow that was present beforehand, was completely obliterated by her presence. Up until this role, her best parts were a mermaid (Splash), an android (Blade Runner), and a cave-woman (Clan of the Cave Bear - there were no speaking parts in this one.). After those roles, when she had to play an actual human being who could talk, she totally ruined everything she was in, including this movie which I would have given a 9 or 10 to if she wasn't in it.
7 out of 11 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Freedom of Speech???? Report me again.
30 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
There has not been one original idea to come out of Hollywood and been worth something in so long. Being that this movie is intended to try and entertain, it is very difficult to pick it apart piece by piece. But the fact that they put this out to a mass audience and it sucked, opens itself up to ridicule.

Without going into any specific problems with this piece a garbage, I just want to point out two very general problems I have with movies of this type: 1) Movies where nature is the antagonist. SNAKES FEAR PEOPLE!!!! Most animals in the world fear humans, but snakes go out of their way to avoid things that are much bigger than them despite what Hollywood tells you, (see Anaconda). If snakes were released in an atmosphere like the plane, they would do everything they could to hide in a dark area until they could find a way out. Why do film makers insist on making animals anything more than instinctual creatures who's only goal in life is to survive by eating and reproducing? Please stop making movies where animals get "smart" all of a sudden and have "agendas". These movies suck. Ironically, Jaws is my favorite movie, but that was the first, best, and should have been last movie where the animal looked to be acting on more than just instinct.

2) Movies where airline pilots get killed or incapacitated while still in flight. Inevitably, in every airplane disaster film, there will always be someone in the cabin who can take over the complex controls of a huge airliner whenever the pilot, co-pilot, navigator, etc. get knocked out. Is there anyone in the movie business who realizes that learning to fly and land a plane is not a weekend camping trip? And that video games are not training grounds for flying plane, or fighting wars, or killing zombies, or putting dresses on Barbies. Stop making movies where the plane landing depends on some jerk who at first is apprehensive because they have never "flown a plane before" and then all of a sudden becomes an expert. Come up with something original. Let the plane go down already. End an airplane film the proper way when all other flying experts have perished: let the plane come down to the ground at 600 miles per hour. Then we will see something original.

Stop making this garbage please!!!
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
8/10
George A. Romero is the Original and the Best
7 August 2006
For anyone who dares to compare any of GAR's zombie movies to any other, please just stop before you make a fool of yourself. Romero invented the idea of movie zombies where cutting off or destroying the head is the only way to stop them and that once a dead body regenerates, it's only purpose in "death" is to eat living human flesh.

Ever since the original and best zombie movie, Night of the Living Dead (1968), came out, there have been thousands of movies that have tried to emulate the pure horror and gore of this masterpiece. However, only George Romero has been able to hit us with absolute gore, but he has done it with horror and fascination at the same time. No other film maker in the zombie genre has been able to even come close to that.

Land of the Dead will never be enshrined in the ass-kissing movie museum, but us true zombie fanatics will never care. Romero and his zombies are the scariest and the best horror "villains" of all time.

You can have your Jasons and Michael Myers' and Freddies and Pin Heads who always die in some really ghastly way but still manage to come back for a sequel. I will take these poor lost souls who, no matter how many of them get killed, will always be replaced by the next regenerated body. In short, they can never be stopped: and that is true horror.

Pardon the pun, but I hope GAR's zombie movies never die.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
7/10
Enjoyed this movie a lot., but......
31 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The Hills Have Eyes 2006 was a decent movie as far as gore and horror go. And there were a lot of shockingly disturbing moments that some people probably found objectionable. Overall, a very good horror film.

However.....

Can someone please make a horror movie where the ending doesn't set us up for a sequel? Why cant there be a horror movie where the good guys win and that is the end of it (or even the bad guys for that matter)? When the end of the movie comes, we see a POV through a pair of binoculars...where the hell was this person when his entire "family" was getting slaughter by these people? Stop with the twists in the end already.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Clerks II (2006)
7/10
For Those Who Were Expecting Kevin Smith's Citizen Kane
26 July 2006
Have all movie goers in this world lost their sense of humor? I recently watched Animal House and Caddyshack again and saw just how stupid the plots were in those movies and still after almost 30 years, the humor was still there and the belly laughs were still coming. In this day and age of mindless anti-American movies and movies that try to either scare the crap out of you, unsuccessfully I might add, or make you care about something or someone, it is refreshing to see this type of sophmoronic humor on the big screen. Clerks 2 was not supposed to change the world or cause people to sit down and debate. Kevin Smith set out to be as shocking and childish as he can be while making you almost wish you hadn't laughed out loud at the previous vulgar joke. That is what he does and he is brilliant at it. Smith will never win an Oscar or get any kind of lifetime achievement honor. But he probably doesn't care. He is successful at what he does because he is anti-Hollywood. His fans still love his movies and that is who he is trying to impress and keep happy. Screw the negative reviews..he doesn't care about them. He knows the kinds of movies he makes and he is proud of them.

Lighten up people.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Jagged Edge (1985)
2/10
The Movie Courtroom Drama
29 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Before I bash Jagged Edge for having what amounts to one of the dumbest endings in movie mystery history, I want to comment on an annoying Hollywood courtroom drama observation. Why is it that every single movie with a courtroom as it's center focus, i.e.. A Few Good Men, Suspect, Presumed Innocent, The Accused, Jagged Edge, etc., always seem to have their days last approximately 15 minutes? Has anyone else noticed that the movie cuts to the scene inside the courtroom and there is one person on the stand and both sides ask them questions and then all of a sudden, after a shocker of a revelation about the crime, the judge calls for recess until Monday morning? Does any court case in these movie have a full day or week? I mean by all accounts, if you think about it, if this is how they examine and cross-examine witnesses, they would have about 20 or 30 witnesses a day take the stand. If you watch real courtrooms, you see both side keeping the witnesses on the stand for hours sometimes days before they dismiss them. I know these are movies and they want to move the story along, but none of these courtroom dramas are ever realistic.

******MAJOR SPOILERS - Don't READ ON IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT*********** Now, on to my thrashing of this piece of garbage which I have watched again this month after seeing it almost 20 years ago. Why did Jeff Bridges character, at the beginning of the movie, (we find out at the end that he is the killer), put on the black outfit with the mask if he was going to kill the only people in the house who could have identified him? This kind of audience redirection is so annoying because in real life the guy would have slaughtered his wife and maid and then faked his own injuries without the use of the costume. That first scene alone was enough to realize who the killer really was.

Now skipping way ahead, past the trial and all the over-acting done by these truly first-rate actors, we come to the ending. The part where the twist comes in. Before we even see the shocking piece of evidence that proved the accused was actually the killer, we know it will come out because the trial is over and the scenes are still going on. By the end of the trial it is so obvious that the film makers are trying to misdirect the audience into thinking it is someone else that you know who it really is. But my problem with this ending is a couple of things: first, of all the tracks that the killer has covered, why would he not have gotten rid of the typewriter? And even if he didn't, why would he leave it in his own house? Second, who the hell does Glen Close's character think she is by changing the bedding after she has just slept for almost 18 hours? Then miracles of miracles, she knows exactly where the replacement sheets are and behind them is the one piece of damming evidence that proves who the killer is. Because no one else in the world would have a typewriter like that.

OK, the shock has been put upon the "idiots" in the audience so we move to the dramatic ending. Glen Close doesn't speed away and run to the police or to her detective friend's house, she goes home alone and takes off all her clothes so she is now extremely vulnerable like all women become in these movies. Her killer lover calls and she tells this PSYCHOPATH, over the phone, that she knows he killed his wife because she found a piece of office equipment. Now Jeff Bridges, who apparently has never heard of double jeopardy, the constitutional amendment that states that a person cannot be tried for the same crime twice no matter how much evidence comes out after trial (just thought I'd help out all the "idiots"), decides that instead of either leaving well enough alone and dropping her like a bag of dirt, or going over there in street clothes to talk things over with her, decides to once again dress up in his black costume to presumably go over and once again kill the only person who could identify him...not really knowing, however, who she may have called to let know about this incredible piece of evidence she just found. Because, of course, he knows her so well that he knows she wouldn't have run to the police or her detective friend or the DA or the mailman or the homeless lady out in front of her house.

Complete garbage.
51 out of 84 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Madagascar (2005)
1/10
What a joke.
31 January 2006
We had bought the DVD for this disaster of a film for our son on Christmas and we finally got around to watching it. We planned a whole family fun night around this movie thinking it would be the perfect ending to a nice dinner out. Holy cow, were we wrong!!! This has got to be the WORST animated movie to come out in the past 10 years. There was an absolutely horrible script driving the lousy computer generated animation (by the way, computer animated films are becoming very very bad lately) along with the horrible voice over work by these talentless actors. It's funny how whenever there is an animated movie in the works, the studios always seem to find one or two actors who are hot at the time: Ben Stiller and Chris Rock, and one or two actors who are basically begging for work: David Schwimmer and Jada Pinkett. Dreamworks needs to stop delving into the animated world for a while and give the movie going public something to look forward to that is actually worth their time.
19 out of 40 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
High Tension (2003)
7/10
For those who didn't like the twist in the end.
4 August 2005
Warning: Spoilers
For all of those who hated this movie because of the twist in the end, ask yourselves if you hated another movie with a similar, if not exact, twist: Fight Club. If you loved that movie for the twist in the end, you are not allowed to hate High Tension for its twist. You can hate it for other reasons but you would be hypocritical if you liked how Fight Club "shocked" you but not how this movie did.

As far as the rest of the movie goes, it had its good moments and its bad moments just like any other standard slasher film. The horrific deaths of the family members at the beginning were truly some of the most disturbing on film. The chase scenes were not completely unentertaining. What got me the most was after the movie ended and I thought about what that poor girl in the truck must have been thinking while this was going on. We as the audience were thinking and hoping that she would be rescued by her friend when all along she knew she was being kidnapped by a crazed psycho who she thought she knew as a friend.

I will say I'm glad I borrowed this DVD and did not buy it or pay to see it in the theater. It was worth a one time viewing but I wouldn't go out of my way to see it again.
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed