ableape Reviews

Killer Tumbleweeds (2008)

A real tumbler

[4/10 · 24 December 2021]

Obviously an attempt at tongue-in-cheek, with the tumbleweeds acting as a cheap stand-in for an actual threat, this appears to have been fun practice for news anchors attempting to act. Mostly presented with the perspective as if you're watching a docu-drama on the current tumbleweed crisis on an independent cable channel (complete with mock commercials) that frequently interrupts with news updates about the current tumbleweed crisis. The most entertaining footage is of the actual field maintenance.

Trivia: Tumbleweeds were first reported in the United States around 1877 in South Dakota, apparently transported in flax seed imported by Ukrainian farmers.

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)

Episodes 179 & 180

[22 January 2004]

I was originally told this was terrible and wasn't worth seeing. But for a fan of the Next Generation series (or as I call them, "The Adventures of Data"), it holds its own. Granted this maybe wasn't movie caliber, but it's good enough to at least be another pair of "cliffhanger" episodes.

It's no wonder Brent Spiner had a hand in writing this film. Since acquiring emotions, his Data character had pretty much evolved to human as much as possible. There was nothing left to learn. Something had to be done. So, they find a new, dumb version of him, and start all over again. Viola! He's reborn.

But, how many times does the NG crew have to save Earth from a version of Picard? Apparently, more than once, since the Borg version of him wasn't enough. Now we're doing it again with a veritable clone of Picard, which poses the question, "How do two people with exactly matching DNA get to look quite different from each other?"

All in all, this is a smart film. It tries things that haven't been used in previous Star Trek films (or episodes). It doesn't use the obligatory formula of "first tell the audience what the plan is, then have it go awry. Then, don't tell them the next plan, and have it go smashingly." 7 of 10.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Biased by the book

[10/10 · 20 December 2003]

It is difficult to not be biased when reviewing films like Lord of the Rings, especially since the source material has been so popular for so long. Having just finished reading the last page of the volumous book a few days prior, I was anxious and prepared to see Peter Jackson's last take on the third book, Return of the King. Even considering my high expectations, I was still blown away. It seems he has saved the best for last. Not only did I feast my eyes on the sweetest visual candy, I was taken on an intensely emotional rollercoaster. While the second film may have seemed slower-paced than the first, this third film is faster, and ultimately more exciting than the first or second, even given its 3+ hours run time. But it could also be a bit draining. Not that that's a bad thing. Just be prepared.

The film opens with a flashback that gives Andy Serkis (Gollum/Smeagol) a chance to develop his character as well as appear without computer enhancement. But once the computer graphics are kicked in, they give life like some supreme being. (Upon first seeing Gollum again, I actually believed he was real for a moment. An improvement over last year's award-winning model, and money well spent.) Throughout the movie, many others are given chances to deliver classic lines and develop their characters further, and they do it superbly. We even get to hear Pippin (Billy Boyd) sing, surprisingly with a beautiful voice, as well as Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen).

The sheer scale of the computer-generated armies are jaw-dropping. Battle scenes are plentiful and satisfying, including a sequence with Legolas and an Oliphaunt that is particularly rousing. However, Aragorn's ghost army seemed a bit unnatural (excuse the pun), but maybe that was the intent. Since this isn't Jackson's first experience with ghosts, one might expect better. One of his earlier films, "The Frighteners", expertly blended true horror with true humor, a feat most people fail to recognize, let alone duplicate.

To point out another possibly minor flaw, Denethor's odd behavior goes a bit unjustified in the film. Yes, he just found out about his favorite son Boromir's death, but it's still puzzling that some seemingly minor scenes and dialogues were included, yet the "real" (book) reason why he was so wacked in the head was not even eluded to. Granted, having to cram and wrap up multiple major plot lines built up during two previous movies is valiant, if not impossible, so Jackson's artistic liberties with the book are excusable when necessary. (For example, there is no appearance of Saruman, and the Shire remains unscoured.) Perhaps the Special Extended Edition DVD will expound upon this, and other unanswered questions.

In the end, men cheered and women cried. Overall, a highly enjoyable ride. If this doesn't sweep the awards, it'll at least sweep you off your feet. 9.5 out of 10.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Neo is the Messiah?

[5 November 2003]

Granted, it's difficult, if not impossible, to capture the surprise and awe of the debut of a revolutionary film style and plot concept. This, the third (and dimmest) view into the Matrix, falls even shorter than the second (Reloaded) by showing us little we haven't seen before. It starts right where we left off at the end of Reloaded - Neo is seemingly still comatose, with sentinels drilling their way down to Zion. The next two hours is nothing but an occular exercise in fight scenes and special effects, while still trying to stimulate the heart and brain with philosophical and religious metaphors spoken in techno-babble (it's all GEEK to me) that were already revealed in Reloaded. But, rest assured, there is still plenty of action to go around - a little less of the martial arts fights (with little "bullet-time" shots), but more shoot-em-up's than the first or second, and no sex scene (save for a brief nipple twist in a hell-like club).

Time is spread more evenly to all characters, making it less of a Keanuisance (which is best since he's even forced to try to act without his eyes now). Thankfully, the weird dreadlocked albino ghost twins don't reappear. Speaking of ghosts, the actress who played the Oracle in the first two movies died unexpectedly before filming, so her replacement gives an explanation for her change in appearance. Agent Smith becomes a key factor, but his motivation remains a mystery - he hated the Matrix in the first place, yet now he's populating it with duplicates of himself. Meanwhile he's still bent on fighting Neo. Go figure. When it's all over, one can't help feeling unfulfilled. There are still some unanswered questions, with the Wachowski brothers placating with the obligatory possible return to this slightly greenish world. As the tagline says, everything that has a beginning has an end. So, did it end? 7 out of 10.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)

Disappointing

[5/10 · 14 July 2003]

By the feeling I got from the previews, my predictions were correct. This movie had potential. In its actors, its premise, its setting, and its production. But it succumbed to the "Hollywood" virus that doesn't discriminate what it infects. Granted, it was (loosely) based on a comic book (calling it a "graphic novel" in the credits doesn't give it more validity), but at least the 2 X-Men movies have proved that you can make a decent movie out of one. Even allowing for the suspension of disbelief (and believe me, my disbelief hung out so long it got eaten alive by carrion fowl) still wasn't enough to ignore the plot holes.

On the positive side, the acting seemed slightly above par, if only due to Sean Connery's compelling presence. And they do a decent job of hiding the old man's age (what is he, like, 80 now?). The editing of the action sequences were fast-paced to keep your ADD in check, and the effects were decent. But there seemed to be too much screen time spent on them, especially Captain Nemo's toys (soon to be found at a toy store near you, possibly in the discount rack). About 10 minutes could be cut out from the redundant shots of the Nautilus ship alone. George Lucas said it a long time ago (in a galaxy very, very near), that giving your props as much screen time as your other actors is a mistake. And especially with the attention-challenged kids keeping up with the lightning-quick fight shots, this can seem like an eternity.

Aside from the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde character appearing hulkily familiar, this movie just tries to put a new "old" spin on the X-Men, and comes up short. Unfortunately, a sequel is inevitable. 5 out of 10.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Won't spoil the fun (or story)

[10/10 · 18 December 2002]

We showed up at 5:00 for the 5:30 showing and the rest of the shows were already sold out for the night. Fortunately, I had purchased our tickets online last week (at the matinée prices, no less). After sitting in the third row, center, we were shown ads for drivel such as Legally Blonde 2 and Dumb & Dumber 2 (titled Dumb & Dumberer). This is their target audience? Shrugging off the insult to my intelligence, I was treated to the visual and intellectual ride of my theater-going life. The first few minutes are simply INTENSE, and will make you want more, which the final hour of the 3-hour tour provides. I will try not to reveal or spoil too much for those not finished with the books yet.

Let me first say that Peter Jackson has skillfully remained faithful to the books, but yet still created his own version of the story by taking creative license when he deemed necessary. Some events are invented, rearranged, or removed, but it is easily apparent when taking into consideration the task at hand. My overall impression is that what may have gone overlooked in the books is highlighted enough to show emphasis, yet not overemphasized as to feel insulted.

The movie handles most of the second book, ending way before the "other side of the mountain" is even reached. It made sense to be a good place to pause the story, since the main climaxes had just happened (Helm's Deep, and Isengard). Gollum is featured prominently (and almost repulsively), and Faramir's roll is enhanced a little. There is also more emphasis on Arwen & Aragorn's relationship, too, but that's for the chicks, I think. Aragorn has a large roll throughout.

The special effects are, again, intense. The 10,000 computer-generated orcs are quite convincing. My trained and critical eye had a hard time finding any flaws, and I think I only found one (I could be wrong). If anything, the battle scenes seemed a bit too flashy, and by that I mean the action zipped by the screen so fast that I could hardly tell what was happening. Truly a candidate for next-gen video game youngsters on speed with slo-mo remotes. (Or am I just getting old?) Otherwise, superb. And the cinematography is, well, how can anyone take a bad picture of New Zealand? Spectacular. Even the musical score seemed improved (and note that Enya does not contribute to the soundtrack this time).

Everyone's acting is nothing less than excellent. Gimli the Dwarf plays a large part in providing comic relief, almost unexpectedly sometimes, which truthfully I thought the books lacked. Again, here is but one of the many examples where the film provides what seems like added "bonus" material to the books, without leaving you feeling disappointed about what they left out or changed.

Overall, I rate this film a carefully weighed 10, which is a grade not readily handed out in my book.

Men in Black II (2002)

Watch the first MIB on DVD instead

[4/10 · 3 July 2002]

It's difficult to capture the excitement of any first movie's surprises in any sequel, but this one tries valiantly... and fails.

I felt like I was watching an enhanced "deluxe" edition of the first Men In Black DVD. It was essentially the same plot, with minor differences, but with more special effects, and more jokes. Quite frequently it seemed the jokes were an excuse for more SFX, which made them less funny - almost spoon-fed, and sugary at that. Characters you wish were gone are back (like the pawn shop owner), and others you wish were back are gone (like the morgue chick). And a two-headed alien guy as well as the worms are just annoying. The acting is half-a$$ed, which isn't as bad as some movies' full-a$$ed acting considering the actors' caliber, but it still comes off unconvincingly.

And the ending has that "isn't America great" bandwagon feel. You may wish the movie could "flash" it out of your memory at the end.

Oh, and Michael Jackson makes a cameo.

4 out of 10, but good entertainment for kids under 10, altho' it's rated PG-13 for unknown reasons.

Funny (1988)

Good source of jokes

[20 July 2000]

I saw this movie at a film festival when it came out. It's filled merely with everyday people candidly telling their favorite jokes. Nothing more. If you want a large source for jokes, or just want to laugh a lot, this is fun. It also provides an interesting look on people's behavior and senses of humor.