BastardBlob Reviews

Bulworth (1998)

Amazing!

[28 June 2001]

Oh, My God! I rented this movie for the first time last week and, WHOA, was I in for a pleasant surprise. This film is one of the most entertaining movies I have ever seen. It is perfectly cast, very funny, even touching! And let me just say that it was hilarious to hear Warren say the line "...would you prefer motherf*cker, motherf*cker?"

This movie is just so good! I have (in one week) watched it 4 times! I just can't get enough of it! I recommend it to absolutely everyone (who isn't offended by the strong language).

I rank this movie a 9.5 out of 10. (Just one scrap of a notch below Screamers and Memento, the only 2 movies I have ever given a 10 to.)

Primal Fear (1996)

Great the first time I saw it.

[17 June 2001]

I saw this movie about a year ago for the first time and I really, really liked it. It was entertaining, slowly pulling you in, lots of suspense, and a great twist ending.

I watched it for the second time last week and was really bored. Knowing the ending, the 130 minutes passed really slow.

If you've never seen it before, go out and rent it but it doesn't have much replay value.

The Pest (1997)

90% ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!

[11 June 2001]

This movie, for the most part, is a hilarious comic gem and the first half hour gives several laughs per minute ( I *LOVE* the scene in the Chinese food restaurant - "No, Over here. Ok. No, over here. Ok. No over here..."), but there are a few slow, unfunny scenes here that seem to slow down the movie a lot, such as the scene where they're in the parking lot outside the private party, and that whole scene where Gustav tries to find Pest in that big building near the end.

I've watched this movie a lot, and I still give it ****, but it just doesn't have the endless rewatch value that 'Austin Powers' or 'Kids in the hall: brain candy' (my 2 favorite comedies) have.

Hangman (2001 TV Movie)

Decent.

[19 May 2001]

It's another one of those '2 cops on the trail of a serial killer leaving clues for the police'-genre movies (there are most then you would think in this genre), but this one does have an interesting premise and good pacing, but the acting is rather flat and the ending was a bit of a let-down.

Obviously nowhere near as good as 'Seven' but better than a lot of films of that type, I'm giving 'Hangman' **1/2 out of *****. Watch it if its on TV or if there is nothing better to rent.

Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy (1996)

Hilarious!

[14 May 2001]

1996 had so many good movies. This is another one of them.

I had never seen any of the work of TV's "kids in the hall" before watching this movie so I had no idea what to expect. In short, I got 89 minutes of laughter.

Like so many other good comedies, always something funny is going on. Whether it's a quick one-liner (I still love the 'toast-f---ing' joke), and ("No, Luke SKYWALKER, you f---ing inbred!"), to full length funny scenes (any scene with the cabbie).

I was surprised to find that this movie only made $3million in the box office, but I hope many have discovered it on video. If you haven't already, you should!

Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

The funniest movie in over 5 years

[25 April 2001]

Ignore the damn critics and see this movie. I cannot tell you how many times I laughed out loud during this comic rush. Always something funny is going on. The expression/reaction that Green has when he first sees the horse is priceless! And the sandwich scene (when he spots the two horses while eating a large sandwich) is one of the funniest scenes ever presented on film.

You're obviously thinking: "I bet the movie has no plot." I say to you: "Who Cares?!!!". When a movie can make you laugh like this (and that IS what a comedy is meant to do) who needs a plot?

-Dammers.

Clay Pigeons (1998)

Terrific!

[17 March 2001]

Wow, this was a pleasant surprise. I rented it because a friend recommended it, but I knew little about it, and I know it played in theaters in fall 1998 for under 2 weeks.

Then I watched it.

I was really into this movie. It kept me wondering about all of the characters and it had a really good mysterious, dark and kinda funny atmosphere the whole time. What stood out the most was Vince Vaughn's character: Not since Jeffrey Combs in The Frighteners (my second favorite film of all time) has there been such a strange/hilarious intentions-completely-unknown-till-the-end character and you don't know whether to laugh at him or to be afraid of him. Terrific! The other characters in this freaky town the film takes place in are all superb, too. Sarcastic, hilarious, white-trash everywhere you look!

The film is great on a murder mystery level, great on a thriller level and good on a comedy level, and is never boring for a second. Rent it now, but I'll put out a warning: The movies soundtrack (100% country) will not thrill everyone.

8.5 out of 10. (It deserves 9, but that's what I gave Frighteners and that film was better).

Mute Witness (1995)

Best thriller in some time

[26 February 2001]

It is a real shame that this film didn't make more than 1 million dollars at the box office, because it is a much better thriller than any other I've seen in its decade.

The plot is simple: Mute woman accidentally witnesses a killing in a snuff film one day, late at night in a big old film studio, something nobody was ever meant to see. Of course, by the time she gets out and the police get to her, no one believes her, and the killers tell the police they were making a movie and faking a killing! No one goes to jail, and the killers are now after her!

This thriller is not only well acted, but very creepy, tense and satisfying. It had a perfect ending! This thriller seems very old-fashioned, which is great, and my only complaint is the well-deserved R rating. Had it gone for a PG-13, I think I (and many others) would have enjoyed it more. The whole 5-minute 'snuff' scene was very unpleasant, and the movie's violence should have been toned down a little, to fully perfect the wonderful 'old-fashioned thriller'-feeling to it all. But complaining of such is like complaining that the best tasting candy is not nutritious: Who gives a hell?

After the 'snuff' sequence, it's a roller-coaster ride of fast paced thrills and fun, and you'll be on the edge of your seat the whole time.

9.5 out of 10.

Showgirls (1995)

Great fun If Your a 15-year old male (me)

[25 February 2001]

This movie had always made me curious to see it since it had played in theaters in fall 1995. I had never got a chance to see it until last night, when a cable channel broadcasted it un-cut and all I have to say is: "Wow!".

The movie had so much female nudity you *almost* get tired of it! I cannot believe it! It was unintentionally funny. Awfully acted as well. But the 135 minutes race by, and I taped it and will probably watch it again.

The movie made me think of "8mm" a movie that I thought was grim, disgusting and even depressing. "Showgirls" was (for the most part) completely different, bright and fun (except for the rape part). I turned off "8mm". It was the first and only movie I have ever shut off.

All I can say is if you're like me, WATCH THIS AWFUL YET GREAT FILM! On the movie rating scale, I give it 2 out of 10. On the T-movie scale I give it 9.5 out of 10!

Camouflage (2001)

Laugh-out-loud funny Nielsen film is one of his best!

[15 January 2001]

I am surprised that this comedy went straight-to-video, as it is much funnier than most movies that make theaters.

It is my second favorite Leslie Nielsen film, "Dracula: Dead and Loving It" is his only better.

In this film (which is a spoof of detective films) he is teamed with Lochlyn Munro ("Scary Movie" and "Dead man on Campus") as a retired detective who agrees to do one last case. Many quotable lines!

Do yourself a favour and rent camouflage, trust me, you'll laugh!

Trainspotting (1996)

A wonderful film, but why the title?

[13 January 2001]

I saw this movie the other day. My friend rented it, and liked it, so it was about midnight and I put it on to watch it, thinking I would only watch about half an hour and turn it off. Wrong! It was so entertaining, different and fun, I just kept watching. I was surprised that it had only a 14+ rating here in Canada, as this is a very offensive movie, featuring lots of swearing and drug use, some violence and even a sex scene which featured male and female frontal nudity.

To some, this movie will be considered genius, to others it would be considered trash. I call it "genius trash".

This film was classified under drama, but i'd call it a comedy. I mean there is a scene where a blanket full of excrement is flung across a room hitting a bunch of people. What's dramatic about that?

Cast Away (2000)

Like drinking a warm, flat soft drink.

[5 January 2001]

This film is just like that. It is good if your desperate, and it doesn't contain anything awful, but you could have better and it leaves you unsatisfied and you wouldn't want to have it again.

I liked Tom Hanks in this, but would just as well see him in something like Apollo 13 or Forest Gump. There were a few creative and entertaining elements here and there, but the ending was bad.

So his girlfriend got with some other guy and married him. Big deal. He was gone for 4 years, did he just expect her to wait by the phone for all that time?

In closing, you'll probably see the film, but don't make the mistake that I did: going in with high expectations!!!

Drunken Master II (1994)

GOOD STUFF!

[28 December 2000]

I saw this film 3 times in November and I'll buy the DVD the day it comes out. It is a fun and violent, campy and original martial arts work, my second favorite Chan film to date. The only one topping it is Police Story, which was incredible. It ranks as a 9 out of 10 and I recommend it to everyone. I love the fight sequence where he kicks that vendor's ass! And the famous 20 minute final fight scene...Superb.

Note to parents: This film is alright for children, and is restricted only to violence, which is never that harsh. You'll find far worse "PG-13"'s any day.

2 words sum it all up: "GOOD STUFF!"

The Ladies Man (2000)

The funniest film of the year

[12 October 2000]

You know you're in for a real treat when the preview you saw 2 months ago had enough laughs to fill 3 whole movies. I was rolling in the aisles through this hilarious romp which puts the "Laugh-a-minute" back into Laugh-A-Minute Comedies. Tim Meadows is a genius... I think in a decade he will be as big a star as any comedian before him.

I saw the advanced sneak preview of this film last night and not only was it hysterically funny, but it had as good a plot as you can expect from a goofy comedy. 100% Comic gold...a real winner.

Don't miss "the ladies man".

Felony (1994)

Jeffrey Combs carries mediocre action flick

[1 October 2000]

I saw this film only because I really liked Combs in "Re-Animator" and "The Frighteners". "Felony", however is a low-budget, slow-moving and predictable film and Combs is its only saving grace, and even he can't make it work.

For die hard Combs/action fans only.

A 3 out of 10.

The Art of War (2000)

A great film, from a great director!

[20 August 2000]

This is a great action/thriller film from genius director Christian Duguay, who directed the wonderful movie "Screamers" in 1996! Wesley Snipes is great in this film. It is possibly the most entertaining film of the year!

With great performances all around, do not miss "Art Of War."

Screamers (1995)

The best sci/fi film ever made!

[9/10 · 15 August 2000]

This is the best sci/fi film ever made! It has a great hero (Peter Weller), great likeable character (Andy Lauer) and hateable badguy (Roy Dupuis). The settings (the snow planet and lair of the NEB's) enhance the wonderfully inventive sci/fi elements and it's always entertaining. For fun, great fx and great plot, Screamers is a great rental!

The R rating comes from sci/fi violence and terror, language and some quick nudity... in a rather funny scene ('good lord, you're beautiful!'), but this film is pretty well suitable for all. No matter who you are you will love this movie!

--- Pretty Cool, Huh?------ Top not entertainment!