eko123 Reviews

Yeelen (1987)

Utter garbage...if you want a good African film, go see "Moolaadé" instead

[21 March 2009]

It's surprising to see the number of rave reviews for this movie. As someone who is passionate and open-minded about all types of foreign cinema, I thought this movie was absolutely horrible with no redeeming value whatsoever.

Not only was it overly long, but it seemed like the director only had a budget of $10 to film what turned out to be nothing more than a meandering, incoherent, pointless piece of drivel masquerading as high art. This movie barely has any plot and NO characterization whatsoever. Sadly, the only memorable thing in the movie is scenes of actual animals being killed, which is terrible.

If, as other reviewers here have said this is how Africans see themselves, then is it any surprise African films don't get much exposure in the world market of cinema?

I also completely disagree with the reviewer who said that people with long attention spans will enjoy this movie. It's more like anybody who's accustomed to such basic cinematic elements as story or character development will not enjoy "Yeelen" as it features neither.

For a far superior film from a similar region in Africa, I would highly suggest Ousmane Sembene's "Moolaadé" from 2004. It too is filmed from an African perspective rather than a Western one...but it actually has a relevant, engaging storyline with fleshed-out characters for whom you actually care.

"Yeelen" on the other hand, is an excruciating, mind-numbing experience that I wouldn't even inflict on my worst enemy. It's as enjoyable as watching urine dry on a toilet seat.

Twists of Terror (1997 TV Movie)

The only "Terror" was that this garbage was even made.

[12 December 2000]

This is probably one of the stupidest films I've ever seen. The stories were predictable and unscary, and the acting was atrocious. That last story, which featured the nude scenes and the deranged female killer, was particularly stupid in spite of its attempts to be erotic. You'd be better off watching an hour's worth of McDonald's commercials than this piece of drivel.

X-Men: The Animated Series (1992–1997)

Vastly inferior to the WB Batman & Superman toons.

[11 September 2000]

I don't understand why so many people seem to think this cartoon was excellent. Sure, "X-Men" may have been better than most of the other Marvel hero cartoons (e.g. Fantastic Four, Iron Man, and the atrocious Avengers cartoon), but it doesn't even come close to rivalling the Batman or Superman shows.

The animation was pretty unsophisticated and the plots could be overly preachy and simplistic. Worst of all, the characterization was often ridiculous and inaccurate at times, like Storm's constant over-the-top declarations every time she used her powers (something that she NEVER does in the comic book); I won't even begin to discuss the cartoon's horrific portrayal of the Canadian super-team Alpha Flight. The only good thing was that the show utilized many talented Canadian actors like Cedric Smith (Professor X) and Camilla Scott (Lilandra).

Then of course, there was the way in which the continuity was altered. I understand the difficulty of keeping everything exactly the way it is in the comic but some of the changes seemed drastic and utterly pointless. For example, why were Banshee and Black Tom Cassidy portrayed as brothers (in the comic, they're cousins), and why was Banshee the older one when the exact opposite is true. As well, what was the point of saying that characters like Bishop, Nightcrawler, Dazzler, Archangel, Havok, Banshee, Psylocke, and Colossus had never been members of the X-Men? You could simply have said they were reserve members! These needless alterations are extremely insulting to comic fans like myself. The only storylines that were reasonably adapted were "The Phoenix Saga" and the subsequent "Dark Phoenix Saga".

For the most part, the "Batman" and "Superman" cartoons are superior because they don't dumb down to viewers; in other words, adults can enjoy just as much as kids. "X-Men" on the other hand, is strictly kiddie fare. If you want to watch a better animated Marvel cartoon that's a little more consistent to the comic, watch the earlier seasons of Fox's "Spider-Man".

The Thirteenth Floor (1999)

Highly intelligent and vastly underrated.

[6 September 2000]

I think the main reason why most people didn't like "The Thirteenth Floor" was because it lacked the frenetic action sequences found in "The Matrix" (which was also an excellent film). In truth though, the plot for "The Thirteenth Floor" is stronger, much more thought-provoking, and more suspenseful...not something you'd expect from Roland Emmerich, one half of the duo that did such mindless Hollywood fare as "Godzilla" or "Independence Day". I guess we know where all the talent was in that partnership...

I really enjoyed the plot twists and the way in which you had to figure out what was real and what wasn't. All of the actors were excellent, especially Craig Bierko and Vincent D'Onofrio. I was also impressed with the look and feel of the 1940s sequences...very film noirish.

This film may not be pretentious artsy-fartsy flick like David Cronenberg's "eXistenZ" nor an action-packed blockbuster like "The Matrix", but it's still an intelligent, well-written film for anyone into sci-fi. 10 out of 10.

Bang (1995)

Waste of time.

[5 September 2000]

The only memorable things about "Bang" is that it features a female Asian protagonist in a non-stereotypical role and its use of cinema verite techniques. That said, the movie meanders about without any sort of coherent plot or message. At times, I felt as if the filmmaker was making the story up as he was filming it.

Essentially "Bang" is all flash and no substance.

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994)

Laughable camp fest masquerading as high art.

[3 September 2000]

This adaptation of Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" was just as ridiculous if not worse than the original 1940s Hollywood flick with Boris Karloff. Aside from the over-the-top acting, atrocious dialogue ("Brother and sister no more...now husband and wife..."), and an utter disregard for the original plotline of the novel, I guess the visual effects and scenery weren't too bad...at least when Kenneth Brannagh wasn't chewing it up! De Niro's performance wasn't too bad either.

Many of the changes in the story seemed to make little sense (WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD). For example, when Frankenstein resurrects Elizabeth, why did he have to cannibalize parts from Justine's body...couldn't he have simply removed the heart as that was all he needed to revive her? As well, how was Elizabeth able to set herself on fire or the rest of the house for that matter? I thought her body would still be damp from the resurrection process?

Even Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein" can be considered a better adaptation of the novel than this godawful, self-indulgent piece of tripe. A 1 out of 10 rating, out of pity for those involved.

Cleopatra 2525 (2000–2001)

"Lexx" done right.

[31 August 2000]

"Cleopatra 2525" is not the most intelligent sci-fi show, and would never win an Emmy, but it's still enjoyable enough to watch when nothing else is on. It's nowhere as stupid as "V.I.P." (with its Baywatch-esque montage sequences), and the characters are intentionally tongue-in-cheek without being too ridiculous or unbelievable.

"Star Trek" and "X-Files" it ain't but that's okay..."Cleopatra 2525" supposed to be mindless fun. Plus, what's wrong with having a bunch of strong, gorgeous females (except for Jennifer Sky, who's hillarious in the lead role) running around blowing up evil cyborgs?

I get the impression that some of the people who hate this show (as well as "Xena" or "Hercules") also enjoy watching campy, nonsensical excrement like "Lexx: The Series". At least "Cleopatra" has stories that most people can understand and/or enjoy!

Storm of the Century (1999)

Too long and felt like a prequel to something bigger.

[29 August 2000]

Compared to "The Stand" and "The Shining" (both of which I thought were excellent), "Storm of the Century" wasn't bad but it also wasn't King's best in terms of mini-series or story. I found the premise and the character of Linoge to be intriguing, but the ending was a major disappointment. I would also have liked to have learned more about Linoge's background (e.g. is Linoge supposed to be the Biblical demon Legion?).

I agree with the person who said in their IMDB review that the story lacked any sort of "good vs. evil" conflict, as Linoge was virtually omnipotent and therefore no real attempt was made to stop him - to me, the fact that he was not immortal implied that he could still be defeated or even killed in one way or another. Overall, this sense of hopeless inevitability where evil triumphs strongly contradicts the tone of other epic King stories like "It" or "The Stand", where ordinary individuals manage to overcome seemingly undefeatable evils.

While I'm sure King probably intended for this to be a sort of morality play, he could have made this entire movie the first half of a greater, with the second half involving Tim Daly's character pursuing Linoge for an ultimate confrontation.

Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)

More like Young Schlock Holmes

[29 August 2000]

A very disappointing effort from Stephen Spielberg. While the premise for "Young Sherlock Holmes" is interesting, the film fails to live up to its potential. It seems like too much time and effort was spent on the special effects and costumes rather than on developing characterization and plot. The acting was pretty good but I found Elizabeth's death near the end of the film to be over-the-top and rather pointless.

Overall, this movie was better than Spielberg's "Always" (a truly horrendous film) but definitely not one of his most memorable.

The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest (1996–1997)

One of the best cartoons of all time.

[28 August 2000]

As I had watched a few episodes of the original Jonny Quest cartoon and had liked them, I decided to give this new series a try. I was completely blown away by the quality of "The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest". The stories were intelligent and interesting, while the characters were totally believable and likeable. This is one of the few shows that does not adhere to any tired cliches commonly found in other children's toons and does not "dumb down" to viewers. I disagree with some fans of the original series who dislike newer characters like Jessie Bannon. Jessie is an excellent role model for young girls because she is strong, assertive, intelligent, and Jonny and Hadji's equal instead of the stereotypical female "airhead" sidekick or "damsel in distress".

This cartoon ranks up there with other smartly-written children's cartoons like WB's Batman, Batman Beyond, and Superman animated series, The Tick, Power Puff Girls, and Transformers: Beast Machines. It's too bad that something like "Real Adventures of Jonny Quest" would not survive in today's TV market.

Kidd Video (1984–1985)

Worst Saturday morning shows of all time!

[25 August 2000]

I'm probably one of the few people who remembers this godawful series from the eighties. The reason why I think Kidd Video sucks is not because of its dated fashion and music (that's inevitable with any show that tries to be "hip" at the time it's released) but because it was an idiotic premise to begin with. A young teen band sucked into another dimension by an evil alien coporate mogul? Whatever. Even the "Smurfs" was more tolerable to watch than this piece of 80s excrement!

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

The WORST movie I've ever seen!

[25 August 2000]

One of the most atrocious films I've ever seen, "Sleepaway Camp" is a good example of talentless people having too much money and time on their hands. While I know that many low-budget horror movies are often cheesy, cliched, and campy, this one really takes the cake in terms of sheer stupidity. Whoever thought up that ridiculous ending (where we learn the truth about Angela) is in dire need of therapy!

As for the actress who played Angela, I'm sure this flick pretty much destroyed any hopes she had of pursuing a legitimate career in film & television - she'd be lucky if someone even hired her to play a corpse! And to think that they actually made sequels from this piece of excrement?

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

An Oscar worthy masterpiece!

[25 August 2000]

Even though I felt the second half of the movie dragged (no pun intended) somewhat, I still thoroughly enjoyed the music. Let's face it, "The Time Warp" and "Sweet Transvestite" are classics that easily rank up there with any Broadway showtune or song from an animated Disney flick!

For those of you who despised the film because of its homosexual overtones, all I have to say is that ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW is nowhere as explicit or painful to watch as ZERO PATIENCE (a politically motivated gay musical that features singing buttholes!) - so lighten up! It's supposed to be stupid and campy. Whoever said the film was pretending to be high art or attempting to convey some sort of relevant message (which ZERO PATIENCE tries but utterly fails)?

Buried on Sunday (1992)

Should be buried in a landfill.

[23 August 2000]

This was probably one of the stupidest movies I've ever had the misfortune to see. I didn't laugh once while watching it. While I understand that the intent of this film was to be an over-the-top farce, I've seen dog food commercials that were far more entertaining and funny.

It's too bad Paul Gross even had to do this god awful piece of garbage, as it was an utter waste of his talent as an actor. At times, one feels as if he/she were watching a series of bad Saturday Night Live sketches. It would truly be a shame for the world to think that all Canadian films were this bad.

Meet the Feebles (1989)

Should have won an Oscar!

[23 August 2000]

This was probably one of the most tasteless, trashy, disgusting, and politically incorrect movies I've ever seen. That said, it was also one of the funniest and most memorable! Forget all of that pretentious artsy c**p like "Magnolia" or "American Beauty" - we need more ultra-violent and twisted films like "Meet The Feebles" or "South Park: The Movie"!

Apartment Zero (1988)

A zero rating for this piece of c**p.

[23 August 2000]

This is probably one of the most godawful films ever made. I mean, it's got everything: bad acting, a non-sensical plot, lack of direction, etc. At no point does this movie get any better. Hart Bochner, whose only memorable part was in the film "Supergirl", is better off doing his voiceover roles for the Batman animated series. You'd think a bad film like this could at least have camp value!

Nightmare at Noon (1988)

Watching this film is a nightmare

[18 August 2000]

This is possibly one of the worst films I have ever seen in my life. I could talk about everything from the bad acting to the non-sensical plot, but it'd be a waste of time. You only need to watch the first half-hour of the film to know it really sucks. It doesn't even have any camp value to it! This film was so bad, it hurt my feelings!

Tour of Duty (1987–1990)

Possibly one of the best TV series of all time.

[18 August 2000]

Although I'm not a big fan of war-related films or TV shows, "Tour Of Duty" somehow managed to captivate my attention when it debuted back in 1987. In spite of network restrictions and regulations, the show gave viewers a gritty, "no-holds-barred" insight into the Vietnam War from the point of view of the American soldiers. To me, the characters were "real" as opposed to the the 1-dimensional stereotypes often found on TV; I actually cared about what happened to them. I faithfully watched the show until its conclusion in 1990, and still catch reruns of it in Canada whenever I can. I'm really hoping all of the episodes will eventually come out on videotape. In the future, I doubt there will ever be another series quite as enjoyable or poignant as "Tour Of Duty".

Flat Is Beautiful (1998)

Pointless and moronic!

[16 August 2000]

Can anyone please explain to me why this film was even made? I mean, couldn't the filmmaker have produced something even remotely interesting for people to watch? I was slightly offended, not because of the explicit sex scenes but because I felt a young female actor was inappropriately exploited in what was obviously an adult themed film (e.g. the bathtub scene). I believe in freedom of expression and am opposed to censorship. However, looking at this film, and other works by this particular filmmaker, I really think she should seek psychiatric help.