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Reviews
American Chai (2001)
putrid
I noticed the consequence of including spoilers so be forewarned that some things included in the following comment may be construed as such. It is assumed that the inclusion of spoilers "ruins" the movie for those who have not yet seen it. I assure you that the writer and director of this film ruined it far before this review was written.
I was having a hard time believing that someone actually wrote dialog for this movie as it was so awful that ad-libbing would have been preferable. The father and the cousin were such extreme caricatures of Indian-born men that Apu from the Simpsons would have been offended. I was flabbergasted that so many Indians responded positively to this film. Having attended many university Indian cultural programs I can say with confidence that the Maya character's dance was the worst I have ever seen. The fact that she won a dance scholarship can only be explained if all the other applicants were quadriplegics.
I have to admit that there were two positive points in this film. The lead character makes an interesting point during a speech where he remarks on the irony that India with one of the richest and most artistic cultures in history now mass produces doctors and engineers who are discouraged from exploring the arts. Second, although he can't act to save his life, the lead character is a decent musician with and can carry a tune.
That said, don't be fooled as I was by the DVD case that compares this film to Bend it Like Beckham. Watching American Chai is like watching paint dry. It is extremely slow and the dialog, like noxious fumes, will leave you with a splitting headache.
Lloyd (2001)
people get paid for this?
It's one thing to have a realistic ugly kid who has a good heart, but the kid starring in this film is a loser with no redeeming qualities. He's not a sympathetic character at all. In fact, he's quite annoying and I watched the film in its entirety hoping bad things would happen to him. It would be one thing if they film didn't want you to root for him and was meant only to be a realistic portrayal of the misery of junior high. But unfortunately the misguided director thinks that this character is someone we want to see win. A much funnier and unflinchingly realistic film of the same subject matter can be found in "Welcome to the Dollhouse."
Five Aces (1999)
painfully bad
I could follow five losers from my high school around for a couple of hours and be more entertained. An "off-air" screen with the colored bars is Oscar-worthy compared to this tripe. The dialogue was too dumb to even be considered cliched. A scene where Charlie Sheen and his buddy are shooting a cannon while quoting lines from Apocalypse Now could have been salvaged if the buddy's dad was Robert Duvall. And the casting of Chris Macdonald and Charlie Sheen as high school buddies is pretty unrealistic unless Macdonald flunked ten grades...Check out "Beautiful Girls" for a worthwhile dramady about reconnecting with high school buddies to escape contemplating commitment.