HumanoidOfFlesh Reviews

Caramelle da uno sconosciuto (1987)

An average Italian giallo about prostitute killer.

[6/10 · 17 March 2015]

A black gloved killer is murdering Italian prostitutes with a razor and a captive bolt gun deathblow.The police in Rome is unable to solve the case,so the prostitutes decide to find the killer themselves.Any stranger could be the killer.Unfortunately Franco Ferrini's "Sweets from a Stranger" pretty much lacks stalk and slash thrills and there are only two razor killings shown.The script focuses more on the lives of prostitutes and there is a little bit of sleaze and nudity.Very nice cameo role of Mario Bava's regular Laura Betti,who plays older independent prostitute and is killed by unknown slasher."Sweets from a Stranger" is quite likable film,but I expected more gore and sleaze.6 razor blades out of 10.

Baby Love (I) (1979)

Balsorano: Castle of sleaze.

[7/10 · 14 March 2015]

Baby Love is a stepdaughter of an queen of the castle of Balsorano.The queen wants to sell Baby Love during the auction to the highest bidder.There are four bidders:a Chinese,an American,a Russian and a Sicilian.They want virginal Baby Love,but after successful auction the girl decides to lose her virginity with the queen's lover who enjoys throwing knives.Rino Di Silvestro's "Baby Love" is an insane Italian erotic comedy that offers tons of sleazy nudity including masturbation,lesbian sex,orgies and even whipping.The characters of four bidders are utterly crazy and the dialogue is extremely trashy.7 flowers of virginity out of 10.An absolute sleaze!

Vampire of Quezon City (2006)

Suitably dull art-house extremity.

[4/10 · 14 March 2015]

The story of "Vampire of Quezon City" by Khavn is very simple:young women are raped,abused and murdered by religion-obsessed serial killer called Vampire of Quezon City.There is also a police officer,who is speaking directly to the camera talking about this elusive vampire killer or aswang,who has been stalking through the streets of Quezon City during the past few months.Pretentious experimental shocker with weak social commentary and plenty of sexual and physical abuse.The thin plot is mainly an excuse to show as much ugliness as possible.Unfortunately "The Vampire of Quezon City" is quite dull and unmemorable.The Hammond organ soundtrack is definitely overused.4 kicked dogs out of 10.

Last Screening (2011)

Cinema manager and brutal serial killer.

[7/10 · 14 March 2015]

Sylvain((Pascal Cervo)is the manager of small theater which is about to go out of business. He works in the cinema as a projectionist and cashier and lives in the basement. Each night after the final screening Sylvain turns into vicious serial killer and stalks and stabs to death prostitutes and other unlucky women."Last Screening" by Laurent Achard is a pretty disturbing French horror thriller with some disturbing and detached murders. The performance of Pascal Cervo is quite believable and the storyline is quite absorbing albeit little bit repetitive. Still if you are a fan of Bruno Dumont's cinema or "Angst"(1983)you may give this one a look.7 hooded serial killers out of 10.

...a tutte le auto della polizia... (1975)

Poliziotteschi mixed with giallo.

[7/10 · 14 March 2015]

"Calling All Police Cars" directed by Mario Caiano is an intriguing Italian oddity as it mixes elements of poliziotteschi and giallo.Massimo Dallamano's effective giallo "What Have They Done to Your Daughters?" is an obvious influence here.The body of murdered teenage girl is found at a lake.Commissario Fernando Solmi(Antonio Sabato)leads an investigation and he discovers a teenage prostitution racket.During the final third of "Calling All Police Cars" three vicious murders are committed by black gloved killer including nasty throat slitting.There is plenty of nudity and like I already said there is an emphasis on police procedural methods during the first hour of Mario Caiano's movie.7 nude teenagers out of 10.

The Price of Death (1971)

Pretty good Italian spaghetti western with some touches of giallo.

[6/10 · 12 March 2015]

"The Price of Death" by Lorenzo Gicca Palli is quite an unusual spaghetti western as it mixes spaghetti western sub-genre with giallo/murder mystery.Silver who is elegantly dressed and lives in a hacienda with beautiful senoritas is hired to find out if the accused Chester Conway,the black sheep of the town really is guilty of the murder charge that he is to hang for.By investigating clues and arranging a trap Silver discloses some respected citizens as the guilty parties."The Price of Death" is watchable Italian spaghetti western with some humorous moments and a bit of violence.The film is quite tame and there is no nudity.However if you are a fan of Gianni Garko and Klaus Kinski you can't miss it.6 preachers out of 10.

Crazy Lips (2000)

Twisted Japanese horror comedy.

[7/10 · 11 March 2015]

Hirohisa Sasaki's "Crazy Lips" left me stunned.The film mixes pinku eiga rape scenes with martial arts,comedy,gore and musical numbers.Michio Kurahashi has been accused for killing and decapitating schoolgirls.His sister Satomi believes that he is innocent.She enlists the services of a psychic named Etsuko Mamiya and her sleazy assistant Touma and all hell breaks loose in the family of Kurahashi."Crazy Lips" is gleefully weird and tasteless.It has rapes committed by Touma,silly FBI agents,bloody murders and cheesy musical number.The cinematography is lovely and there are some well-choreographed martial arts during the climax.7 scalps out of 10.Still haven't seen sequel to "Crazy Lips" titled "Gore from Outer Space".

Die Sister, Die! (1978)

Gothic psychological thriller with few horror bits.

[6/10 · 9 March 2015]

Edward(Jack Ging)wants to murder his own severely depressed sister Amanda(Edith Atwater)to get his inheritance.He hires a discredited ex-nurse Esthe(Antoinette Bower)to control Amanda's suicidal tendencies.Esther doesn't want to kill the old woman, though and she is curious about the secrets held in the house including a mysterious third sister Nell."Die Sister,Die!" is relentlessly talky and rather subtle Gothic thriller from early 70's.There is pretty gruesome and grotesque nightmare sequence and two suicide attempts,though.The script is quite surprising and the acting is solid.6 basement walls out of 10.If you liked French "Diabolique" from 1955 give this one a chance.

Gli assassini sono nostri ospiti (1974)

Intriguing mix of poliziotteschi and hostage thriller.

[8/10 · 8 March 2015]

A trio of jewel thieves including Eliana(Margaret Lee)takes refuge at the home of a surgeon Guido Malerva after one in their group is mortally wounded in a robbery.When the doctor's wife Mara(Livia Cerini)comes home she is subjected to rape and abuse.I would not consider Vincenzo Rigo's "The Killers Are Our Guests" a full-blown giallo,but the film certainly has some giallo elements.The film is actually quite similar to Enzo Castellari's "Cold Eyes of Fear",but it's more exciting and violent.Great performances by Livia Cerini,Margaret Lee,Luigi Pistilli and Anthony Streffen plus some highly welcomed sleaze and beautiful music score by Roberto Rizzo.A must-see for fans of gialli and Euro-crime movies.8 heists out of 10.

Night Killer (1990)

Freddy Krueger-inspired homicidal maniac.

[6/10 · 6 March 2015]

Claudio Fragasso's "Night Killer" features masked Freddy Krueger-inspired serial killer who murders women with a glove with finger blades.Melanie Beck is the only surviving victim of this homicidal maniac,but she suffers from amnesia and is suicidal.She tries to kill herself on the beach but is saved by mysterious man named Alex who may be Night Killer."Night Killer" is obviously inspired by Italian gialli and American slasher movies like "Halloween" or "Nightmare on Elm Street" series.There is gore and nudity plus some jaw-droppingly absurd plot twists that almost made my head spin.I enjoyed "Night Killer" even more than infamous Claudio Fragasso's "Troll 2".6 deadly gloves out of 10.

Lucky Bastard (2014)

Pretty decent found footage thriller.

[7/10 · 6 March 2015]

'Lucky Bastard' is a porn website that invites its members to have sex on camera.Shy and awkward Dave G. is chosen by porn producer Mike to have sex with porn star Ashley Saint.But it seems that Dave G. is not as innocent as he appears.I must say that I quite enjoyed "Lucky Bastard".It's a surprisingly clever and absorbing found footage thriller with plenty of sexual activity and graphic nudity.The acting by Don McManus,Jay Paulson and Betsy Rue is especially remarkable.The script offers some surprises,unfortunately the film should be more tense.Still if you are tired of conventional found footage horror/thrillers you may give "Lucky Bastard" a chance.7 murders out of 10.

Darker Than Night (1975)

Creepy Mexican ghost story.

[8/10 · 5 March 2015]

"Blacker than the Night" by Carlos Enrique Taboada tells the story of an aspiring young actress named Ofelia who inherits her great aunt's house and moves in with three female friends.Deceased Aunt Susan has a little creepy black cat named Bequer.When Bequer kills the canary of librarian Aurora cosmopolitan friends of Ofelia are angry.The cat mysteriously vanishes and is later found dead in the cellar.Soon Ofelia and her three friends start experiencing ghostly apparitions of dressed in black Aunt.Slow-moving but suspenseful mystery horror with plenty of atmosphere of subtle dread.The characters of three Ofelia's friends are selfish and arrogant,so it's nice to see them being haunted and killed.8 black cats out of 10.

Passionate Lovers (1982)

Watchable Greek murder melodrama.

[7/10 · 5 March 2015]

A director/producer who is already indebted to his creditors for 15 million drachmas and also in bad terms with his wife,a rich sculptress who keeps him attached to her & her fortune in an arrogant way falls in love with a dancer during her audition for his new theatre show.Attraction is mutual and she soon becomes his mistress as well as a successful performer.The only problem is she doesn't like sharing him.So the wife must be eliminated.I enjoyed "Passionate Lovers".It's pretty sleazy Greek crime drama with plenty of sex and nudity.There are some surprising plot twists and the storyline is engaging.7 hired killers out of 10.

Eye of the Cat (1969)

Taut and suspenseful thriller.

[8/10 · 5 March 2015]

A scheming hairdresser Cassia wants to get inheritance money of a wheelchair-invalid Aunt Danny,so she enlists for help Danny's beloved stepson Wylie played by Michael Sarrazin.Both want to murder Aunt Danny and split the money after crime.The problem is that Aunt Danny has many creepy cats in her splendid residence and Wylie suffers from ailurophobia:the persistent,irrational fear of cats."Eye of the Cat" by David Lowell Rich is forgotten US thriller with familiar but absorbing storyline.The cats are creepy as hell and unpredictable as they appear and reappear in swarms.They terrify Wylie and seem to guard Aunt Danny.Very likable and quite nifty horror thriller with memorable albeit a little bit hokey conclusion.8 San Francisco streets out of 10.

A Lamb in Despair (1999)

Pretty gruesome HK Cat.III psychological thriller.

[7/10 · 3 March 2015]

After coming back from US to Hong Kong Ted Wu is questioned by police about 25 murders he apparently committed in the United States.Ted begins his new life in Hong Kong.He visits his ex-policeman father and starts washing cars to earn money.Reporter Anthony Wong tries to expose Ted because he knows about his criminal past."A Lamb in Despair" is a pretty gloomy III Cat. psychological thriller with few nasty scenes of violence including particularly brutal killing of father,mother and their child.Still the film is not as sadistic and gory as for example "Red to Kill" or "The Untold Story".The acting is strong and the climax on the roof is quite memorable.7 schizophrenics out of 10.

Evils of the Night (1985)

Wacky soft core sex/aliens horror flick.

[6/10 · 3 March 2015]

This wacky and exploitative sci-fi horror flick features John Carradine as an alien doctor who needs blood of horny teenagers,so he enlists for help two sleazy mechanics Aldo Ray and Neville Brand.There are also two sexy alien nurses and dumb/sexually active teenagers constantly hooking up including two porn starlets Amber Lynn and Crystal Breeze."Evils of the Night" has to be seen to be believed.The plot is weird and the acting of teens is diabolical.There is plenty of sex and nudity plus some nasty drill/axe violence during the last half of the movie.I can't say that I really liked Mardi Rustam's crazy film debut,but I certainly enjoyed Neville Brand and Aldo Ray performances.6 green laser rings out of 10.

Merry Little Christmas (2011)

Bloody and disturbing glimpse into private hell.

[8/10 · 26 February 2015]

Domestic rape/violence is a dark and socially relevant subject matter.That's why "Merry Little Christmas" is one of the gloomiest and most disturbing horror shorts I have ever seen.It explores savage brutality and mental and physical effects of horrible domestic abuse."Merry Little Christmas" reminded me of equally disturbing and powerful horror short "Cutting Moments" made by Douglas Buck.We see scenes of self-loathing/cutting and ultra-violence from child's perspective.There are some truly brutal scenes of rape and domestic abuse in "Merry Little Christmas" plus some hellish and disturbing imagery which reminded me Aphex Twin's infamous "Come to Daddy" video.8 vicious beatings out of 10.

The Witch (1952)

Naked Finnish witch.

[8/10 · 26 February 2015]

"The Witch" directed by Roland af Hällstrom is based on Mika Waltari's 1947 play of the same name.I found this black and white Finnish horror movie about raven-haired witch named Birgit Suomaa engrossing and fascinating.Birgit was found naked by archaeologist Hannu in the swampy grave.Hannu takes her back to the mansion owned by wealthy Baron Hallberg.Soon Birgit begins to seduce all of the men in the mansion.Surprisingly moody early 50's Finnish witchcraft horror with lovely Mirja Mane playing the witch.This stunningly beautiful young actress provides plenty of nudity.It's a crying shame that her acing career was ended fairly quickly.8 snakes out of 10.

Joshû ori (1983)

Brutal and vicious Japanese pinku/WiP movie.

[8/10 · 25 February 2015]

A female prisoner Masayo(Mina Asami)is captured by wardens after an unsuccessful escape attempt.The evil prison guard begins to torture Masayo to break her spirit.Very nasty and vicious Japanese Women-in-Prison flick with plenty of rape and sexual violence on display.Tons of nudity,a bit of nasty torture and bondage plus abundant sweat,blood,semen and urine.Add also golden showers and you have a winner.Masaru Konuma's "Female Prisoner:Caged!" truly is one of the most savage and brutal WiP flicks ever made.It's even more vicious than several Jess Franco's WiP movies.I can only compare it to "Female Market" when it comes to sheer nastiness.8 horny construction workers out of 10.

Night Creature (1978)

Mediocre animal attack flick.

[5/10 · 23 February 2015]

Donald Pleasence plays a big-game hunter who strands himself on his private Thai island with a leopard that once almost killed him during hunting.Unfortunately his family including two adult daughters visits him so the situation becomes more complicated."Night Creature" directed by Lee Madden is a mediocre animal attack flick with low body count and the lack of tension.There are few effective horror bits for example the scene in which the cat attacks and kills one of the daughters,but not much happens during 80% of the movie.Still if you are animal attack movies collector you can give "Night Creature" a look.5 tropical rainfalls out of 10.

Behind Locked Doors (1968)

The House of Sex Slaves.

[6/10 · 23 February 2015]

When their car is deliberately drained of gas by ex-mortician Dr.Bradley Ann Henderson and her semi-lesbian friend Terry Wilson seek help in Bradley's isolated house where he lives with his creepy sister Myla and a servant Freddy.Dr.Bradley captures both girls for sex as he wants to find 'perfect love mate'.His ghastly memorial exhibition room with naked women looks truly memorable.Very likable exploitation movie directed by Charles Romine and shot in upstate New York.There is plenty of delicious sleaze and mannequin-like naked ladies are lovely.The film is quite atmospheric too!6 cat-fights out of 10.The climax slightly reminded me "Maniac" with Joe Spinell.

The Traveller (1979)

Devilish performance by Paul Naschy.

[8/10 · 19 February 2015]

Paul Naschy plays The Devil in human form,who walks among morally corrupt mankind.He destroys lives of all people with whom he met.Naschy uses temptation and mischief to achieve as much sexual pleasure and money as he can.His loyal acolyte is named Tomas."El Caminante" was written and directed by Paul Naschy himself.The film plays more like black comedy and morality tale than horror movie.It's loaded with sleazy nudity and moral decay.Lying,cheating,stealing and manipulating.Everything is permitted to obtain money and sexual pleasure.There is truly disturbing footage from Second World War when Tomas has a vision of the future.The acting of Pauly Naschy is excellent and the film is rich in atmosphere.8 amoral vices out of 10.

Mizu no nai pûru (1982)

Koji Wakamatsu's subtle pinku drama.

[8/10 · 18 February 2015]

Kôji Wakamatsu's "A Pool Without Water" tells the story of a frustrated ticket-puncher(Yuya Uchida)who works on the Tokyo underground.During one rainy night he saves a woman from being gang-raped by two attackers.But he can't impress women,so he gets a large amount of chloroform and starts stalking various girls including his favourite waitress named Nerika.First he sprays their rooms with chloroform making them unconscious and then rapes them.He prepares breakfasts for Nerika after raping her."A Pool Without Water" is a surprisingly gentle pinku drama in comparison to various other pinku eiga/Roman Porno/violent pink movies of 70's and early 80's.The acting is pretty believable and the story is captivating.8 Polaroids out of 10.

Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre (2009)

Iceland's first splatter flick.

[8/10 · 17 February 2015]

"Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre" is considered the first Icelandic splatter horror.I love Iceland.I visited this extremely beautiful country in 2014 and fell in love with majestic Icelandic volcanoes,mossy lava fields,waterfalls and glaciers.So I was curious about Icelandic horror genre and finally decided to watch Júlíus Kemp's "Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre".Of course the film is a homage to Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" from 1974 as it features small cameo of Gunnar "Leatherface" Hansen.A family of three Icelandic whale hunters(mother and two devoted sons)hate foreigners.A group of tourists is stalked,mutilated and killed by this savage clan in the cold and black Icelandic waters via harpoon and similar hunting equipment.The film is pretty bloody and gruesome with creepy performance of Helgi Björnsson.Can't wait to see other Icelandic horror flick "Frost".8 harpoons out of 10.

Submission of a Woman (1992)

Watchable Italian slasher/rape and revenge thriller.

[6/10 · 17 February 2015]

Daniela Poggi plays Luisa,an actress who is married to Giorgio(Gianluca Favilla) and has a kid.When she is alone in her home she receives strange phone calls.It seems that the caller is a sexual psychopath who begins to stalk Lusia after murdering Giorgio.I truly wanted to like "Submission of a Woman" by Alessandro Lucidi.The film lacks violence,but there is plenty sleaze on display including a lengthy rape sequence.The script offers a little bit of tension and the acting is quite good.Still "Submission of a Woman" has this dull look which often characterizes various made-for-TV Italian horror movies from late 80's and early 90's.Not to mention the soundtrack is plagiarised from Angelo Badalamenti's "Twin Peaks" theme.6 knives out of 10.