LagerLagerLagerShouting Reviews

Hard Target (1993)

When I Come Back Here, I Cut Me A Steak!

[7/10 · 6 May 2008]

Hard Target is my favourite Van Damme movie and along with Face/Off, is John Woo's best Hollywood movie to date (none though come close to his earlier Hong Kong efforts). Inspired by "The Most Dangerous Game', Hard Taget helps introduce Western audiences to the stylised visuals and balletic violence that is the Cornerstone of a John Woo film, and he certainly doesn't disappoint in that category. Although the plot is run-of-the-mill and does somewhat disappointingly dissect the action sequences, it does not really matter because it is the action that is worth waiting for. It is ridiculously over-the-top, in a good way though, violent, entertaining and at times hilarious.

Van Damme is actually pretty good in this film, playing a really hard bastard. He is perhaps helped by some decent characterisation, but this perhaps favours the two villains most of all with Henriksen excellent as usual, playing the snarling, evil villain and Vosloo pretty amusing as his cocky, over-exuberant right-hand-man. It helps they are given some decent lines even if the script isn't the most polished in the world but no doubt is it set instead on catering for the action. Although convincingly handled, the action scenes do however, require some suspension of disbelief and a view that doesn't hint towards gritty realism. So what if no one never reloads, so what if the police and public are never around, so what if it takes Van Damme thirty bullets to kill one man, this is simply an action film and nothing can be taken for granted in this genre. Besides if the action is as greatly entertaining and stylistically done as this then you can easily forget the films mishaps and general lack of narrative qualities.

7/10

The New York Ripper (1982)

Fulci's Notorious Homage To The Giallo.

[6/10 · 2 May 2008]

Another Fulci exploitation classic, The New York Ripper is possibly the most depraved film the Italian horror maestro ever made. That said it works rather well as a crime thriller, definitely paying homage to the giallo. Fulci's own visual style is on display here, namely his canny ability to show graphic murders, here committed by a nutter who talks like a duck, in all there full blooded close-up gory. And boy, is it gory, and graphic, the effects seeming pretty good considering its production values. The film definitely has an 80's feel to it, the cinematography is grainy and the sheer sleaziness of the picture makes it seem like a soft-core porno film, albeit one with lashings of extreme violence. As is always the case with Fulci films, the acting, characterisation and dialogue are bad, but unlike most works of the giallo, NYR does have decent pacing and a reasonable plot. The uncut version, if you can get hold of it is definitely worth a watch, it is twisted and hideously graphic, definitely for connoisseurs of extreme violence and fans of notorious films. This one is so notorious that here in the U.K. BBFC head James Ferman, when attempting to give the film a video certificate in 1984, was so offended that he demanded police to escort the prints to the airport so they could be put on a plane and flown out of country!

6/10

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Derrrrrr Derrrrrr!

[7/10 · 1 May 2008]

A more graphic take on Wes Craven's original, Switchblade Romance director Alexander Aja takes fear of the unknown to the extreme while keeping with Craven's original aesthetic of the deconstruction of the nuclear family played out against, well, a nuclear backdrop! First blood to the mutated cannibals, but those city folk sure are driven by their primal instincts to avenge monstrous creatures that society turned into savages. Watching the contrasting families, all with their own defining characteristics which the narrative builds upon, go tooth and nail at each other, momentum swinging either way, gives the film its core. All in all it is great late night fun slasher fare with insane lashings of violence and foul play driven by a dirty metal riff.

7/10

Con Air (1997)

Thankyou For Choosing Con Air...

[7/10 · 1 May 2008]

Con Air is just simply mindless entertainment! The script is full of hard-as-nails characters, each nicely developed to melodramatic point, with Nicholas Cage's con the moral centre. The only exception probably being Steve Buscemi's Ed Gein-esquire Garland Green who offers a slight variation on what we come to expect as your typical lifer con! O.K, so the plot does have a few holes that need filing and the whole thing is pretty unoriginal but the ridiculousness of the premise does call for some suspension of disbelief. It may have been best played tongue-in-cheek but the great-one liners, insane situations, brilliant staged, if overblown action sequences and a great guitar score by Trevor Rabin, still make for a white-knuckle two hours.

7/10

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

I Fart In Your General Direction!

[9/10 · 1 May 2008]

Quite possibly the funniest film ever made, this mock up of medieval legend has scene after scene of hilarious happenings. Every character is stupid in their own way (apart from the peasants!) and Terry Gilliam's animation is equally witty and inventive. The overall dark tone and misty mise-en-scene only adds a certain quality and authenticity to the production and, believe me, doesn't make anything more serious! Highlights include the bridge of death, the killer bunny, bring out your dead and my own personal underrated favourite: John Cleese's Lancelot charging towards a castle in full-blooded fury without actually getting any closer...Ha ha fooled you! 9/10

Saw (2004)

Hello Paul.

[7/10 · 1 May 2008]

A new take on the traditional horror formulae, Saw combines elements from the psychological thriller and slasher canon to create an effective chiller that goes out of its way to create numerous inventive death scenes that will appeal to gore-hounds. I don't think many films set in predominantly one location have been as creative. You start from square one, as an audience member knowing as little as the two leads, then as they find out the reasoning behind their plight the plot unravels into an edge-of-your seat if routine finale, that is set apart by a fairly convincing twist that is well mapped out, even if the acting and the dialogue is a bit shoddy at times.

7/10

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

An Iconic Horror Film.

[8/10 · 1 May 2008]

A horror classic, Wes Craven reinvigorated the supernatural horror theme hinted at in the greatest horror film of all time Halloween and in the Friday the 13th sequels. Here he introduces the world to Freddy Krueger, an icon of post-modern slasher culture, which got so over the top in the sequels that he took the mickey with his self-referential return to the franchise, Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994). Aside from the freaking looking Freddy and his Fraudian scissor fingers, the key to this film being scary is the terror caused through sleep, a place where we seek solace and comfort...not any more! He expertly depicts a nightmare world inhabited by the dream demon Kruguer and conjures up numerous frightening revelations resulting in a pretty silly ending but the overall horror effect is pretty startling.

8/10

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

The Best Zombie Film Ever.

[8/10 · 1 May 2008]

A milestone in 1970's horror, Dawn of the Dead combines action, gore and social commentary to startling effect. Relentlessly entertaining from start to finish, the film represents one of the pivotal films of the American Nightmare era; post-Vietnam horrors that captured the fears and paranoia of the time. Here the terror is essentially consumerism in a decaying society. The physical horror stems from body takeover contradicting free-will and the bleakness of survival. Dawn of the Dead is probably George Romero's finest hour, he is yet to top this accomplished feat of film-making and this remains the jewel in the crown of his socially conscious zombie flicks.

8/10

28 Weeks Later (2007)

Frenetic and Entertaining Horror Sequel.

[6/10 · 1 May 2008]

This film is insane! Ditching the desolation, characterisation and sustained bleakness of the original, this worthy sequel is an adrenaline soaked thrill-ride that is dizzyingly shot and graphically nasty. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo's visuals are stunning and the frenetic digital camera-work adds to the sense of paranoia and panic. The camera is always moving, using everything from extreme close-up to POV as sudden bursts of rage-induced violence burst onto the frame enhancing the need to escape. Like the original, the fear stems from a viral pandemic that takes over and this primordial fear is shown in all its glory, shunning any signs of characterisation and plot reasoning to instead deliver edge-of-your seat shocks, brutal action and unsubtle scenes of gore to great effect while seemingly taking a socially-conscious dig at the incompetence of the American military and contemporary security meltdown.

7/10

The Thing (1982)

Forget E.T, The Thing is The Real Alien Film of 1982.

[9/10 · 1 May 2008]

John Carpenter's brilliantly suspenseful flick is a great fusion of Sci-Fi and horror, adopting the classic body-swap theme and taking it to the extreme. A remake of the Howard Hawks produced 1951 original, Carpenter keeps the Cold-War themes of paranoia and trust as a backdrop of alien takeover and impending doom amidst madness and the isolation of the Antarctic setting. Carpenter's direction as always is excellent as his camera glides through the lonely world of the characters whose inhabitable environment is about to be corrupted by the primordial fear of body takeover. But here and much like the work of David Cronenberg, Carpenter doesn't hold back on the incident, as through some fantastic special effects we are witness to some insane moments of surreal gore. However, he never loses touch with the human side of the story, as in the face of everything shocking happening in front of us, we are left with perceived notions of trust and suspicion.

9/10

The Elephant Man (1980)

Morally Important and Deeply Moving.

[9/10 · 30 April 2008]

David Lynch's poignant and touching drama is a emotionally-draining true story of acceptance and suffering set in Victorian Britain. Personal to Lynch and exploring his key themes of dreams and the effects of society on the individual, The Elephant Man is a beautiful, haunting piece of film-making. Although a simple story on the surface, as expected of Lynch films, it is also psychologically complex. Here he explores the effect of industry and class in society and draws on dark themes deriving from Bakhtin's notion of Carnival in his exploration of the marginalisation of difference and the quality of life in the developing post-Industrial Revolution world. The script is both heartfelt and precise and Lynch's direction remains taught and accomplished, enhanced by some beautiful black and white wide-angle cinematography and effective linear editing. The acting, particularly from John Hurt, is completely faultless, with every emotion hitting home. A important, masterful work of significant moral importance, that is both historically aware and ambiguously complex.

9/10

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

A Work Of Art.

[8/10 · 30 April 2008]

The ultimate exercise in the power of suggestion, Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a brilliantly shot and excellent handled work, a great example of how to make a horror film on a low budget. Evoking the Post-Vietnam fears of American society at the time, such as the energy crisis and fear of the unknown, Hooper sets up the perennial horror film aesthetic of the 1970's, that of the deconstruction of the nuclear family. In this case, the cannibal family, comprising of a group of disturbed ex-slaughterhouse workers feed off the fear of the travelling new age young make-shift hippie family of the time. Where they represent the old values of society that has lost much after the Vietnam war, the travelling new-age family represent a more liberal approach to a desperate economy and they are struck down by an everyday fear of the unknown and a villain that is representative of a new terror in society - the serial killer in this case, Leatherface - a personification of 1950's Wisconsin killer Ed Gein. Hooper uses this context to scare the crap out of audiences living in paranoia of the time, and he handles the scenario with detailed precision, directing with an uneasy, nerve-jangling, documentary style.

Shot on 16mm the film has a dark, grainy effect and brilliant, immaculately shot compositions and this only adds to the films raw power and makes it all the more disturbing. If your looking for a mindless, entertaining gore flick look elsewhere, this a masterful, intelligent, socially conscience and historically significant work of art and terror.

9/10

Nil by Mouth (1997)

Is Scary To Think There Are People Like Ray Out There.

[7/10 · 30 April 2008]

Ray Winstone is outstanding in Gary Oldman's powerful, hard hitting drama exploring the down-trodden lives of a working class family in the darkest parts of London. Painfully realistic and drawing on Oldman's own childhood experiences, Nil by Mouth is an honest and frankly nihilistic depiction of shattered existence. The intrusive camera work is all-encompassing and the dialogue, improvised and aggressive. The overall melancholy mise-en-scene is dark and disturbing and makes the film at times very difficult to watch. Despite this, Nil by Mouth remains an inaugural part of the recent British cinema canon, with the film delving into the violent underbelly of our contemporary society.

7/10

Shrek the Third (2007)

Much Of The Same But Still Entertaining Enough.

[6/10 · 30 April 2008]

Following in the footsteps of the first two animated ogre tales, Dreamworks' Shrek the 3rd promises much of the same that has gone before. However, although lacking in surprise and awe after the first two, it is still an entertaining fast-moving ride chock full of film references and fairytale send-ups. Pretty much every scene is a mock up of classic Disney titles or fairytale legends plus there's a bit more thrown in for adults, with subtle nods to the likes of the Six Million Dollar Man, Rosemary's Baby and Monty Python. The voice cast again is pretty much top notch, with Eddie Murphy's Donkey and Antonio Banderas' Puss providing most of the laughs and as expected the animation is great. Unoriginal and cliché at times but there's is plenty to enjoy from this final ogre instalment.

6/10

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

The Mix Still Isn't Right.

[5/10 · 30 April 2008]

Although pretty enjoyable, this third instalment in the X-Men series suffers a similar fate to the first film, that of a rushed, underdeveloped flick with far too many characters to focus on and too many changes of pace. The second one was a lot longer and gave the characters a bit more time to develop, but was let down by an overloading of plot. This time the plot is toned down but the characters are two-dimensional and the dialogue is pretty poor in places. They can't seem to get the mix right. This is perhaps due in this case to original and sequel director Bryan Singer leaving production at the last minute to direct Superman Returns. He shouldn't have bothered, that film was bad. Anyway Brett Ratner provides a capable hand, but is let down by plot inconsistencies, cliché dialogue and too much jumping about, although the film, like the first two, does remain harmlessly entertaining.

5/10

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

Possibly the Best Friday The 13th

[6/10 · 30 April 2008]

After donning the now iconic hockey mask and choosing the machete as his weapon of choice, Jason returns to slice more teenage fodder to ribbons in this pretty amusing sequel, my favourite in the series along with 6. All the regular slasher hallmarks are here to sustain the predictability level for the teenage target audience but this one is slightly saved by introducing a self-referential character twist, with Corey Feldman playing a horror-obsessed kid who might know how to deal with Jason. Perhaps a nudge to the postmodern route the slasher sub-genre would take after the introduction of a Nightmare on Elm Street in 1984. This is quite ironic seeing as by this time the Friday the 13th franchise wasn't going to win any awards, so instead just churned out films that were deliberately bad, (which the awful original tried not to be but was), but remained true to the slasher aesthetic, whilst keeping the body count high and keeping alive the most popular character, that of the masked psychopath Jason Vorhees.

6/10

Speed (1994)

Yea Yea Alright...Oh!

[6/10 · 30 April 2008]

One of the more original efforts to the 90's action canon, Speed is mindless adrenaline fuelled entertainment but one which would have benefited from being shorter. The primary centre of the narrative is the bus, so when you have most of the film dedicated to this tense scenario the characters are enveloped in, it feels like a bit of a cope-out when they rush the belated rescue from this situation by focusing instead on a pretty ridiculous ending on a subway train. Concentrate on the bus for crying out loud! Anyway, the action is great, if unfathomable and Hopper makes a great villain again. But although, in this case, the premise was good on paper, as usual with the 90's action flick the script in worn, cliché (apart from some occasional good one-liners), contains your stereotypical characters and has big enough plot holes to drive a 50mph bus through.

6/10

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Is Jack Burton The Worst 'Hero' Of All Time!?

[8/10 · 30 April 2008]

There is no way this film deserved to be voted worst film of all time in a recent magazine poll (can't remember which magazine)! Some people just don't understand irony and tongue-in- cheek plays on dated pop culture and old fashion genres, which is essentially what this film is all about. John Carpenter returns to his personal film-making style after several efforts borne out of the Hollywood studio system. Here all of his personal, auteur sensibilities come into play with a fusion of Hawksian cross-genres and postmodern pop culture references. These come in the form of old kung-fu films, which Big Trouble subtly references, but throw this in with spiritual Chinese mysticism, chaotic, balletic action, black comedy, romance and just about every other genre in the book and you have a brilliantly fast-paced and original 80's flick. It is chock full of trademark Carpenter touches such as the panaglide camera, wide angle photography, sharp cross-cutting and likable characters out of depth in their surroundings Add this to some fantastic special effects and great music courtesy again of the man himself and you have a fun, always watchable addition to Carpenter's already impressive catalogue of flicks.

8/10

Poseidon (2006)

The Plot Holes Alone Would Alone Would Have Sank Poseidon.

[5/10 · 30 April 2008]

It is true this film has some great special effects and pretty convincing sense of peril but this does not compensate for cardboard characters, a ridiculous plot which is full of holes and some truly awful dialogue. If the film had taken time to develop some sort of character development, whether it be back story or elements of conflict then it would have been more acceptable, but instead none of the characters really mattered, the only thing being believable is that they actually wanted to escape. But these stereotypical characters were shunned in place of action, which Wolfgang Peterson stages pretty capably, but none of that is believable either; last ditch escapes, convenient routes to freedom and the ability to hold breath longer than a scuba diver doesn't really add upto much. Entertaining in a way I suppose but lacking the true character and depth (no pun intended) of the original.

5/10

Crank (2006)

Leave Your Brain At The Door.

[6/10 · 30 April 2008]

If you like brainless action flicks with insane set-pieces, great one-liners and zero character development so you don't give a rat's-ass about them, then Crank is probably the film for you. It is done originally, like a computer game where the action supersedes the plot. It keeps the film moving and the viewer entertained at the same time at the ridiculous and extreme scenarios and this is all the directors want Crank to do. Everything, including generic realism, convincing plot and background characters plays second-fiddle to the stylised action and I couldn't help but be entertained, especially at the completely unsubtle contemporary culture-clash comedy references!

6/10

The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Ten Years Too Late.

[6/10 · 30 April 2008]

Having been watching The Simpsons from its incarnation I did not know what to expect from this long overdue movie. Would it be the original, linear, character driven humour of the older episodes that could do no wrong or the fast moving, random, zany but ultimately empty episodes of the last five years. Unfortunately this film fell into the latter. I know it is all a matter of taste but for a Simpsons follower of well over a decade this movie wasn't even a patch on classic episodes through the beginning and middle seasons in particular. The main problem is the plot is ridiculous and implausible and there are just too many characters we all know and love to accommodate. To top this off the whole thing was so fast moving and random with too much stuff going on it seemed more like a sketch show than a satire. But having said this there were some funny sequences, not as much as I would have liked but some, lets face it when is The Simpsons never not funny! Its all just a shame that this wasn't made ten years ago, when The Simpsons was the best thing on television.

6/10

Saw II (2005)

Hello Again.

[6/10 · 30 April 2008]

Saw II is a decent enough sequel to the original movie with enough plot twists to keep non-gore fans guessing until the end. Horror fans, like me, can lap up the dark as hell direction, inventive death scenes and overall sadistic tone of this meandering sequel even if the whole thing seems pretty uninspired. Technicality wise, the Saw films are top-notch even if repetitive and scraping the barrel for justification of means. The editing is dizzying and the direction is pretty much hands on to keep the narrative rolling and the sadism coming. What makes it even more entertaining is that you wont give one about any of the characters and will be more interested to see how inventive their death scene will be!

6/10

Slither (2006)

A Horror Geeks Delight

[7/10 · 30 April 2008]

This is a clever, entertaining horror-comedy paying homage to everything from cult low budget 'trashy' creature features to classics of the genre. Plot development is kept to a minimum to pave the way for a slew of typically cliché horror flick characters, a traditional small town setting and some very tongue in cheek humour. The overall effect is a nostalgic trip through the ever changing socially conscious horror canon, drawing inspiration and paying respect to, in particular, Herschell Gordon Lewis, Romero's Living Dead trilogy, John Carpenter's The Thing and Cronenberg's 1975 debut Shivers and his subsequent body horror's of the 1980's. Although ideally aimed at true horror fans, there is plenty in here to keep more universal viewers entertained, albeit ones with a soft spot for gruesome effects.

7/10

A Clockwork Orange (1971)

A Masterpiece From The Master.

[10/10 · 30 April 2008]

Stanley's Kubrick's vision of a dystopian future is arguably his most accomplished film. Highly controversial on first release A Clockwork Orange was undoubtedly way ahead of its time and to this day remains an engaging, bold and brilliant satire on the corruption and hypocrisy of a fickle society. At the centre of this, the film remains chillingly topical, demonstrating the debate between free-will versus conformity with a distinct visual approach and creative structure. The best element of this film is the wickedly funny dialogue, a highly inventive take on delinquent orientated slang, but what makes the film a masterpiece is Kubrick's flawless direction. Every scene is beautifully composed and imaginatively stylish, combining zooms, tracking shots, pans and inventive close-ups coupled with some deliriously original editing that pays homage to the class system and engaging pop-art. The film remains a hallmark of modern cinema that is rivetingly brilliant, combining stunning visuals, darkly funny dialogue and insanely catchy music to amazing and accomplished effect.

10/10

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Not As Good As The Original But Entertaining Nonetheless.

[7/10 · 30 April 2008]

I really enjoyed this remake of George Romero's classic 1978 zombie shocker. After the pointless, basically frame-for-frame colour remake of the original Night of The Living Dead in 1990, I wasn't sure remaking the best of the original trilogy was a great idea but Zack Snyder got it spot on. Instead of creating a scene-for-scene remake like the former remake he just takes the basic premise and updates it for a new generation horror audience complete with brilliant scenes of terror, stylish visuals, loads more humour than the original and last but not least buckets of gore. This film was mindlessly entertaining and surpasses the generic self- reflexive formula of recent horror films to deliver a memorable, visceral piece of horror cinema.

7/10