anatolehumfrey Reviews

NoMeansNo & Hanson Brothers: Would We Be... Live? (2004 Video)

Old blokes, rock hard.

[10/10 · 25 December 2005]

Nomeansno have been touring for quarter of a century now, playing their own brand of punk/rock/jazz/whatever-the-hell-they-feel-like.

If you're in Canada, the chance to see them comes along regularly. However, if you're unlucky enough to live in say, Australia, where they haven't been for over a decade, then this is the next best thing to going to a live show.

For three blokes, and old ones at that, they sure put on a show. This DVD covers a great deal of their material from the last 25 years, and while there will always be songs you wish they'd played (which if they did would turn the concert into an eight hour saga), the ones they do play certainly provide fantastic entertainment.

And as a bonus, there is also a show from their puck rock alter egos, The Hanson Brothers, who both manage to take the mickey out of punk rock, and play it so damned well at the same time.

If you're a Nomeansno fan who never gets a chance to see them, then this DVD is an absolute must have.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

This is why I love movies.

[10/10 · 13 November 2005]

Sometimes it's a chore being a movie fan. You wait with high expectations for the latest movie from a particular director, or featuring a favourite actor, only to walk away thinking about how much better it could have been.

But every now and again you're reminded of why you shell out the bucks to sit in a dark cinema. Seeing Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was one of those occasions.

It helped that I had no expectations. I mean, Robert Downey Jr is always good value to watch, but Val Kilmer hasn't done it for me since Top Secret. So this could have gone either way. Add in a first time director, and it was truly an unknown quantity.

But all this is forgotten as the movie starts. All egos are pushed aside as the actors just get on with the job of entertaining us.

At its heart, it's basically a good old fashioned detective story, with nods to such greats as Chinatown, but treating the audience with respect, knowing that we've all seen these movies before. The script is top notch, with Robert Downey Jr's narration giving us just enough information (with a nod and a wink) to keep us excited.

The backdrop to the main story is Hollywood, so we are also treated to some observations on the mechanisms of the film world. It's not trying to be The Player, but it does add some colour to the story.

It's all to rare a thing to walk out of a theatre with a big grin on your face, but that's what I did here. Well worth it.

Against the Ropes (2004)

I'd rather have seen her in the ring with gloves on...

[19 July 2004]

I thought they stopped making movies like this after Rocky came out. Obviously I'm wrong.

If you don't know where this movie is going after five minutes, then you've obviously done a few too many rounds in the ring yourself. Meg Ryan chews up the scenery and spits it out along with her constantly changing accent. I kept waiting for her to get into the ring with Omar Epps. That would have been entertaining.

Nothing new here folks, and it's been done so much better elsewhere, from the dodgy looking fights to the usual montage sequence and successful pep talks.

I saw it for free, and I still want my two hours back.

Ken Park (2002)

Thoroughly depressing, but riveting viewing.

[9/10 · 2 August 2003]

Living in Australia, there has been a lot of controversy about this movie, leading to the government banning it (and even forbidding it to be shown at film festivals, to intelligent, consenting adults), so I had some idea what to expect when watching it.

The thing that surprised me was that there was almost none of the "explicit sex" that the tabloids and conservative politicians would have us believe. Sure there are a couple of shots of erect penises, but nothing most adults haven't seen themselves.

The part that didn't surprise me was that the story was so good. I have seen all of Larry Clark's films, and this is by far the best. A depressing tale of kids who are beginning to realise that their parents, their biggest role models, are not perfect. Far from it in some cases.

I urge everyone who is interested in pictures that may not be light entertainment (and who is not offended by the occasional sexual organ) to try and obtain a copy of this - especially Australians. Don't let the government dictate what you can and cannot see.

American Psycho II: All American Girl (2002 Video)

An iredeemably awful movie. And an even worse sequel.

[1/10 · 29 December 2002]

When I saw this on the shelf in the video shop, I was a little intrigued as to how they could make a sequel.

And when I watched it, I was still left wondering.

The basis of this movie is that a girl survives an attack by Patrick Bateman and becomes a serial killer herself. Which might make a good idea if the first movie (and the book) had pretty much made it clear that Patrick Bateman only thought he was a serial killer - all the killing only took place inside his head.

So the star of this movie survived an imaginary attack in someone else's mind to set her on a path to madness.

All everyone else needs in order to go down the same path is to rent this movie.

Gone is the satire on the "greed is good" society. Gone is the horror of what drives people like that. And gone is any sense of tension or suspense.

And even as a standalone movie, it is so unbelievable and unrealistic that it can't stand. Watch Dawson's Creek. Scarier and funnier and far more believable.

Rose Red (2002)

Saw it on DVD, so I didn't waste 3 nights watching it on TV.

[3/10 · 12 October 2002]

I am a huge Stephen King fan. Some of the movies made from his books (The Shining, The Dead Zone, Misery) have been fantastic. Others (The Shining mini series, Pet Sematary, The Langoliers) have been truly awful.

This belongs in the latter category.

For starters, it just looks cheap. That in itself isn't a bad thing, as low budget movies can work wonders (Carrie for instance). But this mini series repeatedly shows off its thrift. From the less-animated-than-muppets monsters to the final rocky showdown, where rocks falling from the sky somehow fly horizontally into models of the house, it just screams "Look at me - I'm not real!" For me, if I can't relate to something possibly happening (which King's books do time and again), then it won't scare me.

And the acting. When you can honestly say that Julian Sands is the best of the bunch, then we're looking at a stinky flick. What's with the girl who's supposed to be autistic, but just wanders around looking bored? Melanie Lynskey as her sister is OK, but she's done much better work. The others are little more than caricatures of caricatures. No wonder David Dukes took the easy way out.

The plot? Doesn't really make any sense. Where does the blonde's character go. One minute she's there, the next she's dead. I don't think I slept through that bit. And the guy who plays the last remaining male of the family. The house kills all the males. So why does he go back? Maybe he's related to Homer Simpson or something.

And how does a pizza delivery guy get through the locked gates? You'd think as the script writer, he'd think of something as obvious as that...

All in all, I'm glad I got this on DVD, because I sure wouldn't have wanted to waste three days of my life watching it on television.

Jeepers Creepers (2001)

Finally, a scary horror movie...

[8/10 · 19 January 2002]

I went into this movie only aware of one review which kind of knocked the whole thing. It looked like a Saturday night, turn the brain off kinda thing, so I went along expecting a cheezy teen horror film.

What I really got knocked my socks off. The opening half hour is harrowing, knowingly tipping its hat to movies such as The Hills Have Eyes or Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And the best way it does that is to get us into the heads of the two lead characters. They may not be likeable or perfect, but they are real. So when they find themselves in trouble, you're scared with them.

And when you find out eventually who's chasing them, even though it requires a big leap of faith, you take it.

Any prospective film makers out there should watch this movie. Just give us characters to believe in and we'll believe in your movies.

And even if the ending isn't quite right, we'll go along with the ride.

Eight out of ten.

The Others (2001)

Leaves you waiting for a twist at the end which never arrives.

[3/10 · 16 December 2001]

I went into this movie with high hopes, having read nothing but praise for a horror movie going back to the basic belief that the true scares come from something that you don't see rather than something you do. And to an extent, this movie delivers.

However, the premise is let down by terrible acting (especially the children), and a script that seems to be setting you up for a surprise ending which never arrives. It contains many of what I thought were red herrings, leading you away from its true finale, but they were simply pointers to where the movie was taking you.

Another recent movie to do this was The Sixth Sense. Where that movie differs was the fact even if you did guess the ending, the characters, acting and story were all top notch, so the entire movie didn't just rely on one twist.

And the worst crime of all for a horror movie: the characters were all so unlikeable and annoying that you really did want to see them suffer. You can't be scared for someone if you don't identify with them.

This sort of movie has been done a number of times, and usually with more success. At least it wasn't a special effects extravaganza like The Haunting. That's the only thing it has going for it.

3 / 10 - I have seen worse.

Return of the Roller Blade Seven (1993)

You've read the comments... Now avoid the movie...

[1/10 · 17 October 2001]

I love bad movies. I'm addicted to them. Give me a Troma film, or even a Fred Olen Ray flick and I'll curl up happily for the next 90 minutes.

This is not a bad film. I'm not even sure it is a film. A film would have a plot that I could describe to you in order to help you. There is no plot.

It has big name actors like Joe Estevez and Frank Stallone. Big names, not big talents. Estevez sits around mumbling, perhaps trying to emulate Marlon Brando from Apocolypse Now, but more resembling that guy who sits down the end of the crowded bar with nobody near him...

Not sure what the rest of the people do. It scared me to watch. There was some rollerblading, but it seemed to be set out in the desert, so I'm not sure how they went very far.

I have to stop. Memories of this (like the filmmakers) should be locked away for all time...