emilywallace-49758 Reviews

The Fog (1980)

Fear the 21st of April!

[9/10 · 11 May 2022]

The Fog was John Carpenter and Debra Hill's hotly anticipated follow up to their runaway smash, Halloween, and it offers up a much different story than what moviegoers might have been expecting. Instead of bloodthirsty escaped mental patients coming after babysitters, it features a mature cast of Hollywood veterans who are all the citizens of a small coastal town who are being terrorized by the watery ghosts of those who were unjustly murdered by the people who helped found the town.

Carpenter keeps graphic bloodshed to a minimum and lets Dean Cundey's beautiful cinematography and the stellar ensemble do all the heavy lifting. That said, Rob Bottin's gruesome zombie ghost makeup is impressive.

A Judgment in Stone (1986)

Interesting Psychodrama

[6/10 · 16 July 2020]

The Housekeeper is a reasonable adaptation of A Judgement in Stone with some dramatic license here and there. Rita Tushingham stars as an illiterate anti-social who murders her father and gets a job as the housekeeper to a wealthy family. She befriends the local busybody and religious freak and they develop a disturbing friendship that leads to murder.

It's not too hard to see where The Housekeeper is going early on. You know the titular character will lose her mind and blood will be shed but this film is interesting enough to leave you wondering how this will all go down and it's still pretty grisly once it does.

Tushingham is wonderful as Eunice and Jackie Burroughs plays to the cheap seats as Joan, the religious freak who gets Eunice mixed up in her own insanity. Everyone else is fine at best.

Miss Leslie's Dolls (1973)

Not Much Else Like It

[6/10 · 16 June 2020]

Miss Leslie's Dolls wears its low budget and limited resources on its sleeve and feels like it was cobbled together over a holiday weekend, but there's so much charm and spirit that one can overlook any major flaws and appreciate it for the bizarre freak show that it is.

Like in many horror films, a car full of fresh blood breaks down in the middle of nowhere and the inhabitants (in this case, 3 college girls and one guy) find shelter in a spooky house by a graveyard where an eccentric middle aged woman named Miss Leslie lives. Miss Leslie is immediately drawn to one of the girls who bears a striking resemblance to someone she once knew and loved. As the night goes on, the group of young folks find out that Miss Leslie isn't as harmless as they once thought and their lives could be in danger.

Miss Leslie's Dolls suffers from many quirks that a lot of low budget films have. Some of the acting isn't so great, nighttime scenes are sometimes impossible to make out, pacing is off and can feel padded at times, and most of the gore effects amount to someone throwing a bucket of fake blood on the floor. Still, your jaw will rarely leave the floor throughout its run time.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

Best Version of the Story

[8/10 · 4 May 2020]

People talk a lot about old Hollywood monster movies like Dracula and Frankenstein, but somehow, this one always gets lost in the shuffle.Not only is it fairly scandalous for the time in which it was made, but it boasts special effects that still amaze to this day.

Fredric March is excellent as Dr. Jekyll and terrifying as Mr. Hyde and Miriam Hopkins is excellent as the bawdy object of his affections. It feels far more realistic and gritty than the more gothic horror films released around the same time, which probably explains why it faced a few censorship issues.

It's easily the best filmed version of the story and well worth checking out.

Pet Sematary (2019)

A Series of Missed Opportunities

[4/10 · 12 April 2020]

I have to say that I'm glad I waited until this one hit Prime to check it out. I'd say I'm a big fan of King's novel (easily his darkest and most ruthless work) and I'm a casual admirer of the 1989 film by Mary Lambert. It was far from perfect, but what worked about it really worked well. Since there was room for improvement, I went into this new Pet Sematary hoping they'd do something worthwhile with the material, but if anything, this feels like it was adapted for Lifetime complete with bland cinematography, rushed storytelling, and unenthusiastic performances.

There's a twist involving which one of the Creed children perishes, but that's all this movie is bringing to the table and, unfortunately, this turns it into yet another uninspired evil child movie that we've all seen a thousand times and it plays out like a zombie version of The Bad Seed.

Best to keep this one buried.

Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933)

Pre-Code Classic

[7/10 · 12 April 2020]

Glenda Farrell steals the show as an energetic reporter who gets the scoop of a lifetime when she realizes a wax museum is using real life corpses to re-stage their exhibits after their previous museum burnt to the ground.

Mystery of the Wax Museum has been remade twice (both under the title House of Wax) and each film has its own unique stamp to keep things interesting. Being that this is a pre-code movie, there's a good deal more innuendo than you can expect to find in the 1953 remake. There's also a lot more comedy and a general tongue in cheek quality to this film, especially due to Farrell's hysterical performance.

Still, there are some thrills to be had and the killer's ghoulish burnt face makeup can certainly still creep one out in the right lighting. It's worth tracking this one down.

A Fall from Grace (2020)

Wonderful Acting Without Script Support

[5/10 · 3 February 2020]

Crystal Fox stars as Grace, a lonely divorcee who meets a mysterious artist at an art gallery opening and falls madly in love. Soon, they're married and he begins showing his true colors which are less than savory and she must take drastic measures to clear her name and reputation.

Told in a series of flashbacks (featuring some, at times, useless narration), A Fall From Grace is a sometimes interesting murder mystery/courtroom drama, but it falls apart when you try to think too hard about it. It's filled with strange plot holes and impossible plot threads that could have never really happened.

It's to Fox's credit that she emerges smelling like a rose, giving us a performance that is heartfelt, moving, and incredibly winning. Phylicia Rashad turns in great support as her best friend and gets some fun stuff to do herself during the film's absolutely insane finale (truly, it must be seen to be believed). It's simply a shame that the film's story and writing continue to let its wonderful actors down with implausible twists.

Vacation of Terror (1989)

Longest 80 Minutes of My Life

[4/10 · 30 September 2019]

Vacaciones de terror believes it's the Mexican answer to Amityville Horror and Poltergeist, but it ends up feeling more like a mash up of Superstition and Cathy's Curse. Occasionally, the film musters up a tiny bit of atmosphere and there are a few images that conjure up more dread than they should, but for an 80 minute film, it feels endless.

It all deals with a family (husband, wife, two boys, one little girl, and the husband's teenage niece who lives with them for some unknown reason) inheriting a vacation home from his dead aunt. Little do they know this was the sight of a witch execution years ago and her spirit still lingers and has possessed a creepy doll their youngest daughter takes to and, pretty soon, eggs are smashing, the walls are dripping with blood, and knives start flying out of the drawers and attacking people.

It all seems like a solid recipe for fun (albeit a bit "been there, done that" fun), but nothing really happens until the last 20 minutes so we're stuck listening to the shrill shrieks of the two little boys in the film who feel like they must scream every line to hit the back of a theater somewhere. The thrills are strictly of the PG rated variety besides one attack via flying knives that recalls Piper Laurie's death in Carrie. It's too light weight to ever really scare or thrill and it's not quite cheesy or poorly made enough to be taken as a piece of camp.

The Corruption of Chris Miller (1973)

Lurid and Stylish Trash

[6/10 · 27 August 2019]

The Corruption of Chris Miller was a hard one to come by for many years, which gave it a mysterious street cred that was impossible to live up to. It's part melodrama and part giallo without really mixing them very well. Besides a splattery opening and a random series of killings right before the final act, it's not much of a traditional giallo or murder mystery and mostly focuses on a woman and her stepdaughter who are charmed by a mysterious drifter who may or may not be a killer who's been going around terrorizing people.

The film is slow as molasses for most of its runtime and you want to tell out "hurry up and get to the good stuff!" I'm normally a person who can enjoy a nice slow burn movie with the rest of them, but there's slow and then there's plotless. Most of the film is just a series of longing glances between the characters or long montages or horseback riding. They seem to be trying to build the tension between stepmother, stepdaughter, and the handsome drifter, but the script never really handles those moments very well. With better dialogue, perhaps those scenes would crackle with sexual tension.

The film is most definitely well shot and the scenes that take place during rainstorms drip with mood, but right as the film starts to get interesting, it ends with no resolution whatsoever. I'm also not a stickler for an ending that's tied up in a neat little bow, but after all that build up, it would have been nice if we were given something a little more interesting.

Return of the Living Dead II (1988)

Want Some Cheese With That Whine?

[6/10 · 8 August 2019]

Return of the Living Dead ended up being a surprisingly fun horror comedy and the sequel brings back Thom Matthews and James Karen, so it seemed like this one might be surprisingly fun, too. Thankfully, there are moments of incredible fun, but they're sandwiched in between endless sequences of characters whining about everything.

I can't figure out if the characters were meant to be whiny or if the actors just decided that shrill was the style of the day and went for it. Either way, it makes for a very frustrating viewing experience and everyone always seems to be at each other's throats.

The zombie effects are good and there are some funny bits involving a recreation of Michael Jackson's Thriller, male zombies getting their eyes off the prize for a moment to take in some TV aerobics, and a talking zombie head with a screwdriver stuck in it.

Return of the Living Dead: Part II still manages to entertain if you can just get past some of the more shrill and over the top moments which are mostly front loaded into the first act.

The House of the Dead (1978)

Moody, But Weak

[5/10 · 23 July 2019]

If you're looking for another Tales From the Crypt or Creepshow, The House of the Dead will disappoint you pretty brutally. For all its flaws, it does have a striking low budget 1970's mood and they lay it on pretty thick, so it's hard to call the filmmakers untalented or hacks, because they clearly have talent - it just might have benefited them to have another few cracks at the script.

As with most anthologies, there's a wraparound story which is almost exactly the same as the one in Tales From the Crypt (and it would be used again, if reworked, in Tales From the Hood). A mortician tells a man 4 stories about his most recent clients.

The first story centers around a bitter schoolteacher who gets her comeuppance when she goes home for the evening. While it would help for us to see this teacher being a little bit more cruel (all she really does is yell at a kid to get away from her car and get angry at neighborhood kids for leaving their junk in her yard. Understandable.), this segment probably has the most suspense even if the pay off isn't really good. There are lots of creepy moments of the teacher wondering if she left this door unlocked or had that radio on before she left the room. It's subtle and builds tension pretty well.

The next is about a guy who kills women and films them. It's pretty dull. After that, we have the most boring of the stories with two detectives...talking...about stuff...for what seems like an eternity. The final story doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it's better than the previous one and involves an awful guy getting trapped in a building overnight as some supernatural force tries to drive him insane.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation (1990 Video)

Different Than What You'd Expect

[7/10 · 21 June 2019]

Judging from the reviews I've seen, most people seem to really hate Silent Night, Deadly Night 4. Why? I'm not sure. The movie I watched was an interesting creature feature. Maybe people don't like it because it's not a slasher like the first three? Maybe it doesn't mention Christmas enough (it is the one entry in the franchise that seems to have included the holiday as an afterthought), but it's an intriguing story, the pacing is decent, and the acting isn't half bad either. I'd say it's the Season of the Witch of the Silent Night, Deadly Night franchise. It's not a bad film per se, but it's not what people were expecting.

If you're looking for a slasher flick, pass on by, but if you're interested in a gooey creature feature/cult movie with some pretty nasty special effects, check it out.

Clara's Ghost (2018)

Comedy? Horror?

[7/10 · 4 June 2019]

Clara's Ghost has to be one of the most baffling films I've seen in recent memory. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, though. Though it doesn't fit neatly into any real genre, it's certainly never dull and the performances make it worthwhile. Everyone is on their A-game here with the entire Elliot family coming across rather well.

The only way to describe this movie is like a mashup of Let's Scare Jessica To Death and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, but with an entitled family of actors (save the matriarch who may or may not be having a mental breakdown.) Hayley Joel Osmet even shows up as a family friend who supplies weed to the family, which only causes things to get worse.

Clara's Ghost is endlessly fascinating and unlike anything I've ever seen.

Ma (I) (2019)

See It For Spencer

[7/10 · 31 May 2019]

Octavia Spencer in a low budget, B-movie horror film isn't something I thought I'd see in my lifetime, but I'm glad it happened. She's supported by a fantastic group of newcomers and some fantastic veterans who never disappoint (Allison Janney, Missi Pyle, Juliette Lewis, and Luke Evans). Still, this is Spencer's show through and through. She runs an entire gamut of emotions throughout Ma's nearly 100 minute runtime.

The plot is typical B-movie silliness. A group of party-loving teens persuade a lonely woman to buy them booze, but in exchange, they must promise her to only drink it in her basement. Obviously, this being a horror film, this woman has ulterior motives up her sleeve and things soon get creepier and creepier.

There's not a whole lot new here, but Spencer keeps the film alive with her grounded, yet campy performance.

The Sleeper (2012)

Half-decent slasher throwback

[7/10 · 4 April 2019]

Slasher throwbacks are tricky. Very few people can get it right, but The Sleeper just about succeeds. In some ways, it really does feel a lot like an 80's slasher flick. The acting is a mixed bag, the cinematography isn't too bad, and the synth score is great.

The story is nothing special, but it's told fairly well and there's a few attempts at suspense. If I was going to compare it to the other classic horror films, I'd say it's a mix of Black Christmas, He Knows You're Alone, and Final Exam. If you liked those, you might like this one.