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Reviews
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
Original and unforgettable flick
This movie, contrary to what lots of people will say, definitely wasn't "bad". The idea was sickening as hell, and at times the acting was horrendous, but that was pretty much what the film was going to deliver. Nobody goes into this film without knowing exactly what to expect.
In my opinion, Dr. Heiter was nowhere near as intimidating as I imagined he would be. His voice definitely gave tingles, but he was only truly scary the first moments we see him escorting the girls through his house that night when their car breaks down. After the operation, he turns into a laughable character, honestly. One of the cops that came to his house near the end stared him down intensely, and suddenly he didn't seem so powerful.
In a way, the viewer almost develops a kind of Stockholm's Syndrome towards the doctor - you can't really touch on why, but you can't exactly 100% hate his character. He shows many gestures where he almost hesitates when looking at his creation, and he doesn't appear satisfied with his life. He's so cold, yet there's so much "feeling" coming out of him. He doesn't try to hide his evilness - which almost brings out a kind of human quality as a result.
Overall, Heiter seems like someone who was mistreated severely in his previous days or someone who suffered horrendous abuse which caused his mental deterioration. In many moments it is seen how he is thinking to himself quietly, he does not have the confidence that most psychopaths do. In the end, I found Laser's character far less menacing than it could be implied.
Second Opinion (2018)
Laughable at best
Basically about a woman, having gone to a school like MIT, who is nowhere near as smart as she looks.
Also, it feels like a child wrote this movie. Any kindergartener could have written up a plot as basic and cliche as this.
Midnight Express (1978)
Powerful and inspiring film
A very old motion picture indeed, this movie kept my attention precisely because it was so realistic.
There was definitely an air of self-righteousness on the part of the protagonist, as he did commit a crime in a foreign country after all. Regardless, a life sentence for an amount of hashish so small seemed quite absurd to me at the time. The antagonist who tormented him throughout the movie was also very well played out and did a terrific job of instilling the reality of depraved individuals in these sorts of occupations.
It was shot in a very graceful style, and the interaction between the different characters really had a unique tone to the whole atmosphere. The slow but certain degeneration of Hayes' character as a whole really shows what takes a toll on humanity once they are secluded to a place where they are subject to no freedom in any aspect of their lives.
On an additional note, in contrast to what most skeptics might say, in my opinion the portrayal of Turkish people in this movie was spot on. They are not a moral nor graceful people by any means, and thus should not be displayed as such. From the atrocities of the Ottoman Empire to the Armenian genocide, there is little sympathy to be had with Turkish history, especially from a Western and Christian perspective.
Midnight Express was nothing other than a film with enough courage to expose the Turkish nation for what it truly is, and how UN-European its people and culture truly are. Yet another thing I applaud this masterpiece for.
Blitz (2011)
Serious yet funny
An interesting film. The beginning is quite memorable as it introduces us to Jason Statham's character, a scowling, rough-and-tough looking dude, although it's hilarious how pumped up his character looks. The opening scene shows him beating three male carjackers to death for trying to crack open one of the locks. Who does that?
Another thing is his accent. Man, did he overdo it. It was one of those Cockney dialects I haven't heard since a 1950's movie. He works together with his gay colleague, played by Paddy Considine, against a cop killer "whistles while he works" played by Aidan Gillen. These roles were played perfectly, and the conflict plot develops the action pretty well overall.
But it was overacted, especially on Statham's part. His eye contact and the way he contructs his sentences are so intense that it's funny to watch, and his absolute lack of manners is the cherry on top. I also never knew Statham had an Irish background, WTF???
Arachnophobia (1990)
Realistic and frightening
Arachnophobia is a movie that was well ahead of its time. It was first released to the public in 1990, but as I watched it I found it hard to believe this was made just after the 1980's. Seemed more like an early 2000's flick.
A team of revered entomologists led by Dr. Atherton (Julian Sands) venture into the heart of the Amazon rainforest during a research expedition in Venezuela. They come across an isolated sinkhole, where they blow insecticide smoke into the canopy up in the trees. Several medium-sized insects, mostly butterflies and beetles, fall down until a spider hits one of the collector cones and catches their attention. It is a species never identified before. It sneaks into their work supplies as they leave. Later that day, the photographer that was with them gets bitten after he lays down in a tent in order to recover from a fever. He does, and they seal him up in a casket, unknowingly trapping the spider inside with the corpse. Eventually, the casket arrives in a small town in California called Canaima, where the spider escapes from the local mortuary after it hitches a ride on a dying bird as it flies away. It lands next to a house where the local doctor (Jeff Daniels) has just moved into from the city with his family. It heads to the barn, where it finds a domestic female mate, and you can imagine the rest of what happens.
It isn't "scary" so much as "creepy". Obviously, arachnophobes have much to be worried about. I'd even go as far as to say that if webs and egg sacs make you uncomfortable, you shouldn't pick this one up. It will haunt you, but only very temporarily. It's pretty forgettable after the first night or so. The music score used was spot on, especially for creating the vibe for whenever the spiders were on screen. Also, the comedic aspect from John Goodman being casted cannot be ignored. He kind of saved the movie from being too much.
In reality, the chances of something like this happening is very slim. First of all, you'd need to deliberately go out of your way to even encounter arachnoid monsters like the ones seem in the film. Such spiders do exist, but the point is that you'd be hard-pressed to find them outside if their natural habitat. In such an isolated place, there would be a major shift in the ecological structure which would in return create a massive disturbance to the food chain. The jungle, as mentioned, contains them. But in an open ecosystem near a rural town, the consequences would be be immense. The spiders would kill the crickets and virtually any other organism big enough for them to take down. They are apex predators, not some pet you place in a new home and expect it to live with other animals in harmony. These spiders were designed for the brutal rainforest canopy, not the peaceful countryside.
This movie gets a 9/10 because it does a wonderful job of creating an atmosphere of horror. Very underrated, considering it's been out for so long. What stops it from getting a 10/10 from me is that it's a little too "average" for a horror flick. Yes, it frightens you, and yes, it makes you shudder, but there's nothing out of the box or exceptionally creative or original about the idea of this piece.
Panic Room (2002)
$3 Million isn't enough for something like this
Panic Room is one of those rare movies with a setting and cast that you can't work much around. They're there, it's only them five (mostly), and the plot's simple and to the point. Acting was incredible, but the writing could've have been a bit more imaginative. A lot more, to be honest.
However, one major thing I hate about the story is that the three intruders are going through all of this for JUST 3 MILLION DOLLARS? From all the crap that they've suffered throughout the length of the movie, in my opinion getting into the panic room wouldn't be worth the trouble unless there was AT LEAST 10+ million. I get that one of them let it slip that there was actually almost triple the amount in the locked safe than he had let on, but by that point he was ready to quit. Initially, the other guys agreed to go through all of this for just 3 million dollars, makes you wonder just how bloody desperate they truly were?
Rambo III (1988)
Hilarious
American propaganda at its finest. Smelly Afghans vs mighty Russians, and they had the audacity to call them "evil" at the time? Unreal.
Not only that, but Rambo looked like he was on roids during this one - not to mention the fact that his supposed invincibility was exaggerated to the same caliber as those protagonists you play in cheap flash games where they can take countless hits from a tank and still live.
Inconceivable (2008)
A Medical Anomaly
This film's plot struck me as very unique and almost nightmarish. The atmosphere created by the editing and camera work really felt overpowering, as if I were watching a psychological thriller rather than a satirical drama. The structure of the choreography was something I've never seen in any other film, and the mysterious aura that is created around the Doctor played by Colm Feore really tingled my skin.
His charisma was evident from the beginning, but something about him from the split second he started talking told me he's up to something sinister. This movie honestly could've done a better job to make the end result more unpredictable, because I'll be damned if there's someone who couldn't figure it all out by the time it reached halfway. The ten patients had an interesting cast, but they had very little to work with as the repetition of their seemingly identical experiences only gave way to highlight their hollowness as characters in general.
The fact that it's set in Las Vegas seemed very out of place, due to the gambling and money scamming reputation known for the city. Of course, this might have been a dead giveaway that something was up. The fact that a movie reaching just under 2 hours would only be about whether conceiving a baby was medically possible seemed too simplistic, so I knew that there must be some villainous twist to its story.
Overall, it was a pretty bland film. Its theme had potential, but the way its been carried out did not seem to be that effective. The ending just made me think how childish and incompetent the Doctor was for all of this, considering it was the purpose for his profession. It had no deeper meaning to it, just the fact that things aren't always what they appear to be. The kind of plot that would work better as a short story rather than an actual 2 hour long film.