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Reviews
Diary of a Wimpy Kid Christmas: Cabin Fever (2023)
Fun Movie, "Spoiler" threats overblown
Honestly Mickey's Once Upon A Christmas gets closer to spoiling the magic. Lots of people give and receive gifts on Christmas Day in multiple ways, from parents and from Santa. My ardent Santa loving, Diary of a Wimpy Kid fan children did not notice or say anything about this movie, other than they enjoyed it. We've watched it twice and I had no idea people were upset. It's not the greatest movie I've ever seen, but it was fun while having a good general message about doing the right thing in the end. Don't worry too much about the "spoiler." Diary of a Wimpy Kid fans will enjoy this movie, and the family will laugh. That's a win.
Strange World (2022)
It's not truly bad, but it's not good either.
It has a lot of great and interesting ideas that just sort of flounder around looking for something to do. Characters are not well fleshed out. Everything felt sort of pointless. It has few laughs and no tears. Lots of things happen and quickly resolve without consequence. The overall outcome for the characters would have been similar even if they'd stayed home. It's pretty, but all the characters are bulbous and squishy with no expression. In short, it's nothing special--just a bland, inoffensive trip into a glowing place.
Ethan is especially annoying. Frequently putting himself and others in danger; he remains oblivious and immune to the consequences of his actions, and is ultimately rewarded for being a reckless teenager. He doesn't have any ambition, skills, or direction. Stuff just kind of happens to him. Is he the main character? It was hard to tell.
I think this one can safely be skipped. You won't be missing much.
Crawl (2019)
It delivers what it promises!
Listen, you know this movie isn't "good". It's not "film". You're not going to bring this up in a conversation with your intellectual friends when discussing "cinema". It's a simple movie about a a simple college student who works out her emotional trauma by being beset by alligators in (and out!) of a simple crawlspace.
It's not really very scary, but it is satisfying and replete with alligators. You will see people getting eaten! You will scream at characters to do the opposite of what they are currently doing! You will marvel at how slowly one can outrun an alligator! You will probably laugh a little, because, come on.
But you won't regret the experience. Sometimes movies can just be movies. This one is a perfect popcorn muncher.
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)
Indulgent 1969 Hollywood Love Letter...Sort Of
You'll spend so long looking at painstaking recreations of vintage neon signs in the first 2 hours you may struggle to find the plot threads. Flashback within a flashback might be a bit distracting. Parts may go on a bit long. You'll uncomfortably gaze at the soles of dirty feet thrust right at the camera.
Don't hold this against the film. It revels a touch long in the times, but it's never hard to watch. The audience grew restless by the end of the second act, but was won over in the third. The fantasy, what-if ending, whose seeds were planted in the meanderings of the earlier 2 hours, pays out with such violent satisfaction that you will forgive the minorly self-indulgent nature of the film.
With all that said? It probably still could have lost 25 minutes and been just as effective.
The Lion King (2019)
Beautiful but empty.
All the emotional resonance felt while watching this film is a direct result of remembering the first film, which isn't hard because this is a roughly shot-for-shot remake. It's a dangerous gambit to adhere so closely to the traditionally animated version, as it invites unfavorable comparison. The former's medium allowed for the expression of human emotion, wildly imaginative musical sequences, and gorgeously exaggerated color palettes that served the characters and the story. This one is so slavishly devoted to realism that the talking animals barely do anything beyond talk--stiffly--and an underwhelming performance from a talented cast can't make up for the mask-like muzzle the style fits them with. James Earl Jones turns in the best performance, perhaps because his iconic voice is larger than life (and can easily live behind such masks). Again, the movie looks good and there's nothing exactly wrong with (mostly) anyone's performance, it just can't live up to the original because the choices made by the filmmakers seem to make success impossible.
Most of the humor has been cut. Most of the delightful villainy that made Scar so menacing and entertaining in the original is gone (and "Be Prepared" went from my favorite villain song to an embarrassment). Original music retooled for this version fails to grab me, and the new original song is intensely forgettable. Beyoncé is a powerhouse performer--but she's not an actor. Her voice acting (a skill not even seasoned actors always possess) again falls flat, as it did in Epic.
The film presents absolutely no good surprises. The only deviation from the original is in seeing how much this new film lacks.
It's not unwatchable, but since you'll just be thinking of the other movie the entire time, I would just watch that one instead.